Hi, I need help with the guilt

[chaoticdoll]

Hi, I'm new here.
I've been suicidal since I was 12, I'm in my late 20s now.
I have been wheelchair bound for a month and a half, and have been disabled for 6 years.
How do you go about getting access to things when you can't get to the mailbox? We live on the second story so I can't get it myself, and if I order anything my significant other will see.
Also how do you get past the feeling of letting people down or inconveniencing them with your death?
I don't want to hurt anyone, but I guess someone's gotta find me...

 

[cosifantutti]

I think worrying about those we leave behind is normal and shows that you're a caring person.

I try to tell myself that just as some people lose their lives in traffic accidents, in war, in horrific diseases (all of which devastate family) some people lose their life to suicide.

Suicide isn't anyone's fault, it's part of the human condition.

 

[FuneralCry]

There is just the reality that death will happen someday whether it's on our own terms or not, everyone has to die somewhere, someday. I don't see death as an inconvenience but rather something that is completely normal and inevitable, eventually I bet that most of us won't even exist in the memories of those who continue to stay here. But anyway I find it so dreadful how it isn't more straightforward to leave this existence, it's cruel how people cannot just easily leave this existence in peace, I wish you the best.