Hi, guys, maybe you could convince me to not send a low-key hateful suicide note to a person by giving me some good reasons to not do it?

[HitsanoEllangmainta]

I had a weird relationship with this person. I don't know how to describe this without writing an long essay, so I won't do it. Basically, I just know what to say to them so they would feel bad. I don't want to say that I do it because of them, I just want to say some things. But they probably will think that they are the part of my decision do to so. But they would think it either way. I know, that it's wrong and I should just go away without a word, but I feel like a huge loser knowing what I know.
I don't want to commit suicide because of them. Ultimately I am the main problem. It's just that I had so much hope in them, but this person did not live up to my expectations. They were my motivation to live and now I just don't have any source of joy, while they feel good. I hate it. I know I'm a bad person. But I won't care anyway when I do it.

I'm still planning, so maybe you could say something to change my mind. Or on contrary, maybe you could approve my decision to do what I want.

 

[Kundalini Guy]

Just leave the world without writing a note. IMO the day you want to CTB act like you normally do but in a more positive mood, then disappear. At least thats what I would do, I realized this way of leaving the world is the least damaging to relatives and friends.

 

[momdontcryplease]

Well you will be dead. You won't feel any gratification or anything really so why bother sending this note? Why waste the time you have left on sending hate when you could idk use that to go outside and feel the summer (soon!) breeze while eating a popsicle?

 

[HitsanoEllangmainta]

Just leave the world without writing a note. IMO the day you want to CTB act like you normally do but in a more positive mood, then disappear. At least thats what I would do, I realized this way of leaving the world is the least damaging to relatives and friends.

But I want to make that person feel bad. Don't know what to do with that...

 

[Flameboyant]

Youre free to do what you want, but youre looking like one selfish prick to do so, just cus they didnt live up to your expectations.

 

[HitsanoEllangmainta]

Well you will be dead. You won't feel any gratification or anything really so why bother sending this note? Why waste the time you have left on sending hate when you could idk use that to go outside and feel the summer (soon!) breeze while eating a popsicle?

Because I am a resentful fuck. They feel okay for a long time now without me, so nothing will probably change to them

 

[wastingpotential]

ultimately we can't control people and their actions, if they let our expectations down the best we can do is try to move on from it and keep in mind that we can't stop them from doing what they do and saying what they say, it's a pain, but what else is there to do about that?

as for the negative note, if you really want to say something bad to that person you can because it's only something you can decide on, as long as your head is clear on it. but sometimes even silence can be loud.

 

[notwhereIbelong]

I started replying but ended up writing a bpd fuelled paragraph of nothing, that probably has nothing to do with your situation, so I'll only leave the first line
``I totally get you, despite knowing I won't be here to witness it, I still want to make people, those people who were supposed to be by my side, and yet I feel have failed me, feel guilty for my death, as a sort of final "revenge" I guess; my last hurrah``
And I'll add that, in the end, leaving these resentful notes won't do us any good, we'll only solidify the idea that suicidal people are self centred idiots. For me personally, I've spent so much time trying to stop being toxic, that doing something like that would only make my progress worthless, and would probably make people resent me rather than cry for me

 

[FuneralCry]

It's understandable wanting to write the note and after all it's up to you what you should do. To me it would be perfectly justified writing a note like that if it's deserved, I wouldn't see it as being wrong at all, but I guess that one could think that soon enough they will be gone from this world and they won't have to deal with this anymore, everything will be forgotten about so from that point of view writing a note can seem quite pointless. And anyway after all we are all destined to die and lose everything so therefore life really is so meaningless when you look at it that way.