Venting Hey...

[Aity4883]

I'm really gonna kill myself...via partial suspension hanging, probably

I hate this situation
I hate having no hope.
I have none.
I have no hope...

It's hell.
I'm not scared of going to hell....because I am already in continual torture without any hope.


What sucks the most is that others have to suffer too. I wish it was just me.

I wish I could take all of your pain. The pain and fear and hopelessness of everyone. I could take it if it was like that....

Let me be the sucker. Let this joke be played only on me....I wish it more than anything

But I can't. It doesn't work that way.

What can I do then..

Only thing I can do is love...I care about you guys. I care about everyone. That's what love is to me. Caring about something no matter what.
And I know they care about me too, even if is only a miniscule bit. That makes me so happy.

I can be at peace, even in hell, knowing that I am loved.

It gives me courage to know people have my back. I care for them too.

So I will do it. I will not lie anymore. I will ctb. I am really happy.

I won't set a date, but I wanted to get this out there, just in case


Thank you for caring for me, even if it is so little that you can't feel it. It makes me happy.

 

[Schopenhauer]

You'll find your peace. One way or another. This world sucks, but not everyone sucks an equal amount.

 

[Threads]

You're not going to Hell when you die.

 

[RM5998]

I hope you find the peace that you're looking for. And I care about you to, despite being the shrivelled husk of a person that I am.