Venting hey ok so here's the deal yeah?

[charlottewilts]

hey so there's this guy i Like right? Like Love him? Like if he told me to drop everything and go with him to live in the woods i would? yeah that kinda guy. and he loves another girl who doesn't and will never like him back. and did you know i cheated on my ex fiancee with this man? that i hadn't really loved her anymore because i loved him but didn't have the guts to tell her? do you hate me yet after reading this? You can tell me you hate me i won't get mad i know im a piece of shit. oh also if you don't know me from before im also addicted to heroin xD literally. lol. I'm gonna go shoot myself up after im done with this post.

can you tell i have BPD? just a reminder if you've been reading this drunk or high yes i have BPD yes I have it real bad. uh huh. you get me.

here's a meme i made because i use humour to cope

 

[an_alias]

do you hate me yet after reading this?

no, you look like you need to find peace with yourself. humour for coping is something that worries me a lot too. i used to do that when i was at rock bottom. those gucci polarised sunglasses from aliexpress look pretty fire though

 

[motel rooms]

no, you look like you need to find peace with yourself. humour for coping is something that worries me a lot too. i used to do that when i was at rock bottom.

I like your signature. Rods & staffs comfort me too. What's so worrying about using humor to cope with having to consume this shit pie called life? It's extremely hard to find "peace with oneself" when one suffers from BPD & all the other things listed in OP's sig, btw.

 

[an_alias]

I like your signature. Rods & staffs comfort me too. What's so worrying about using humor to cope with having to consume this shit pie called life? It's extremely hard to find "peace with oneself" when one suffers from BPD & all the other things listed in OP's sig, btw.

i found that it didn't help me and all the people i've seen who've used it are always mentally unhealthy - you're unable to think for yourself when you cloud out your worries and pains in a farce, instead of thinking about them with honesty towards yourself, especially when you use it to a great degree. OP definitely seems to be having a tough time with their life and finding peace will obviously be a tough task, but if OP continues like this they'll forever be in a spiral of suffering

 

[motel rooms]

i found that it didn't help me and all the people i've seen who've used it are always mentally unhealthy

All the people who use humor to cope are mentally unhealthy?

- you're unable to think for yourself when you cloud out your worries and pains in a farce, instead of thinking about them with honesty towards yourself, especially when you use it to a great degree.

I use humor "to a great degree" & I'm perfectly capable of thinking for myself & being objective about myself. Laughing is an important form of release, just like crying.

OP definitely seems to be having a tough time with their life and finding peace will obviously be a tough task, but if OP continues like this they'll forever be in a spiral of suffering

Do you know anything about the disorders that OP has listed?

 

[OrcWitch]

I don't hate you for having admitted that charlotte. Shit happens. If someone hassles you for it they can go eat a dick.

 

[toseeyousmile]

there's prolly a lot more to the story but holy shit that's a fucking terrifying place to be in...

 

[summers]

@charlottewilts does this guy know how you feel? He might have though you and he were just fwb's since you were/are both in relationships when you hooked up. Definitely nothing wrong with what you did or how you feel.

 

[charlottewilts]

no, you look like you need to find peace with yourself. humour for coping is something that worries me a lot too. i used to do that when i was at rock bottom. those gucci polarised sunglasses from aliexpress look pretty fire though

ahaha, i really do need to find peace with myself, but i have been trying without any luck for some 23 years now (if you count time spent in the womb) and the only time i have peace is when I'm high. sometimes not even that helps. like today i was still crying even though I was so high i thought I'd almost overdosed. thank you for the reply and for not hating me

All the people who use humor to cope are mentally unhealthy?



I use humor "to a great degree" & I'm perfectly capable of thinking for myself & being objective about myself. Laughing is an important form of release, just like crying.



Do you know anything about the disorders that OP has listed?

thank you for your reply, and btw, i really like your posts around here! I'm not sure if I've already mentioned it and said hi, but i wanted to. I'm quite often busy but please do come say hello if you ever want to!

also, i'm sorry to have caused an argument, and i hope everybody can be civil... it seems a lot of my threads cause those. man, my BPD is so bad it rubs off on you guys...

I don't hate you for having admitted that charlotte. Shit happens. If someone hassles you for it they can go eat a dick.

thank you. oh, i wanted to say that i like your posts also! i don't blame anyone who would hate me though, i really wouldn't, i know I'm horrible. even today i was selfish with this friend i made. i made a really good friend today, we walked around town talking for five hours. 95% was me venting to him, God, he was so nice to me. we said today it was my day to vent and i want to hear from him tomorrow, he said we would! I'm so very happy...!!!

there's prolly a lot more to the story but holy shit that's a fucking terrifying place to be in...

oh i could go on and and on but won't for several reasons (privacy for myself, not dumping everything on you guys because it's a lot, and of course privacy for the people involved)

@charlottewilts does this guy know how you feel? He might have though you and he were just fwb's since you were/are both in relationships when you hooked up. Definitely nothing wrong with what you did or how you feel.

yes, he knows very well. only i was cheating when we hooked up, and i don't want to say much more about it for privacy reasons, but we exchanged about 50 voice messages each today and in each one i said i loved him. lol. naturally at the end of the night he said if i said it one more damn time he'll block me and he can never love me, and let's just be friends. karma is a whore (please woman be a lady)

also, i apologise for taking so long to reply on discord... I've been really going through the mill as you can see, ahaha...

 

[motel rooms]

also, i'm sorry to have caused an argument, and i hope everybody can be civil... it seems a lot of my threads cause those. man, my BPD is so bad it rubs off on you guys...

You didn't cause an argument, some people are just lucky that they don't understand freaks like us...

 

[occamsrazor]

I don't hate you. I envy that feeling that you're talking about- loving someone so much that you would drop everything to be with them. I haven't felt that is so long and idk if I ever will again. Well I feel it towards fenty haha I'm about one crisis away from dropping everything and going to live on skid row for the hell of getting high constantly. Because who cares about material shit anyways. And I'm not afraid to die doing what I love.
Can I ask, is this guy an addict as well?

 

[charlottewilts]

You didn't cause an argument, some people are just lucky that they don't understand freaks like us...

I swear us loonies are so much funnier than neurotypicals anyways. I've never met a funny person who wasn't at least a lil bit fucked in the head. @an_alias i don't know you (haven't seen you around much either) and mean no offense to you, by the way, and thank you again for the kind comment. and are you perhaps Serbian?

I don't hate you. I envy that feeling that you're talking about- loving someone so much that you would drop everything to be with them. I haven't felt that is so long and idk if I ever will again. Well I feel it towards fenty haha I'm about one crisis away from dropping everything and going to live on skid row for the hell of getting high constantly. Because who cares about material shit anyways. And I'm not afraid to die doing what I love.
Can I ask, is this guy an addict as well?

i am sorry. if i could offer some hope: I too thought i was too dead inside to love from the drug that chews me up and spits me out every day, but i managed, somehow. i hope you can love again and i hope yours is requited. i definitely understand wanting to just give up and go to skid row, I've had the thought myself many times as well.

and yes he is an addict too haha. but he is trying to quit (he does this every few months...) you know how it is my brother in arms (if you shoot up and get my dumb wordplay lol)