Hey I am back . I got hospitalised

[FireFox]

Hey its Firefox I had a massive anxiety attack which made me believe I was going to lose my university place. It turns out the university sends automated emails in mass to students reminding them to have an updated financial plan by the January or face being deregisted automatically. During that month of January my grandmother went through my drawers and found my appetite suppressants. We had an enormous argument over it and my family forced me to get help for my eating disorder.

I had to undergo tests to see the scale of the damage in my body. Last month I got hospitalised for having dangerously low iron and hemoglobin levels. I regret booking that blood test so much.

Before I was leaving for the hospital my family gave me a hard over my blood test results. It was worst evening ever all because it was relentless judgement. My mum harshly said " look at you people want to live here you are doing this to yourself" and then my grandmother says "why didn't come to this family for help." For all the times I reached out my family judged and never listened. That evening every choice I made in my life I got ripped apart.

At the NHS hospital it was worse. It was not fun hearing my mum telling the nurse doing my bloods "you see she doesn't listen all this was all self inflicted". The day got worse when I saw the male doctor. My mum is from the same culture background as the doctor.

The Dr said my condition "is in my head" and intrusively questioned where I get money to buy diet pills and laxatives. When I trying to explain my diet pills abuse my mum is interrupting saying "my child has never been fat" I was scared to be honest that diet pill abusing has caused me to have heart problems in the past because I was afraid of getting more criticism from my mum.

Coming home was not fun ether. My grandmother thinks this a "lesson for not eating". I got a distinction in my law modules and at hospital I just thought thank god I got a distinction because if my grade where poor I was going to get more criticism and hounding. That idiot Dr gave my mum the validation she already had about my condition and she thinks I can magically snap out of it.

Yes I made poor choices but I did the deserve the public guilt tripping at the hospital infront all those nurses and doctors, the relentless judgment and shaming Absolutely not

 

[fallingtopieces]

It is good to hear from you FireFox.

 

[s00ngone]

Absolutely not. I'm sorry they thought they had the right to treat you that way.

 

[bankai]

Always take care of your health though OP. The bus is always an option for a rainy day. You can choose not to take it. At some point in time, maybe life gets better. Once your health is compromised though. It makes life immensely more miserable.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I wondered more than once what happened to you. Honestly never thought you ctb. Now we know, and now you're back. I'm glad you got through it and made it back. I agree, the ridicule shouldn't have been in front of strangers. It should have been done privately within the family only. Welcome back.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

I'm sorry you were treated that way by your family and the healthcare staff, most people are ignorant about EDs and don't understand that we can't just snap our fingers and go back to eating normally, both on a physiological and mental level.

 

[Mooncry]

I wondered more than once what happened to you. Honestly never thought you ctb. Now we know, and now you're back. I'm glad you got through it and made it back. I agree, the ridicule shouldn't have been in front of strangers. It should have been done privately within the family only. Welcome back.

That kinda implies OP should have been ridiculed at all, which they shouldn't have. They should have been given support and love. Ridicule is not productive, public or private, especially for something like an ED. I get you likely didn't mean that, I'm just clarifying.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

The more I hear about your family, the more I want to slap each one of them in the face. I'm sorry you had to go through that, and I'm sorry about you having to deal with that inconsiderate doctor. I remember, back when I was out of the country, I had to go to the doctor and he noticed my self-harm scar and then went on an entire condescending spiel about how I should go to my mother if I have any issues, even though she's the reason I even started SHing to begin with (I love her, but she isn't the type of person I want to run to and talk about my issues with). With how inappropriate that doctor's behaviour was, I feel like you should file an anonymous complaint against him or something. No one like him should be dealing with mentally ill patients.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

That kinda implies OP should have been ridiculed at all, which they shouldn't have.

Wasn't implying that at all, but for good, or bad, family is going to do that kind of thing initially, before moving into more of a supportive role. That's always been my experience, anyway.

 

[divinemistress36]

Firefox I'm sorry you went through all that. The lack of support from your family is awful. I hope you can get some good therapy

 

[Forever Sleep]

Welcome back Firefox. I also have thought about you a number of times since you left. I really hoped you would get some proper support but, unfortunately, it doesn't sound that way.

I'm no expert but I doubt bullying and ridicule really help with eating disorders. Is there any way you can request to see doctors without your family members being present? I'm not convinced you can 'shame' a person into changing. I imagine it will just further isolate them. Who wants to be around people who belittle them and their problems? The doctor most especially should know better.

I don't know. I know you've mentioned how important family is to you. I think sometimes though, you have to consider just how healthy they are to be around. I guess it's tricky if you have no choice though.

Could you maybe just try to tell them, in a calm fashion that their approach isn't helping the situation. That you're actually open to getting help but, belittling the problem isn't helping.

Have the NHS at least offered further support/ appointments? Perhaps now- if they have diagnosed an eating disorder, they will be more likely to offer therapy. I really hope you do get the support you deserve.

 

[Griever]

 

[butimstillsoblue]

I'm so sorry you were treated that way, it's so wrong. What an awful thing to endure. Sending love <3

 

[Apathy79]

It's interesting psychology they're using. How do you expect piling more guilt and shame onto someone with an ED is going to work out?

 

[FireFox]

It's interesting psychology they're using. How do you expect piling more guilt and shame onto someone with an ED is going to work out?

@Apathy79 The logic doesn't make any sense. In fact I am now less likely going to report feeling depressed or struggling because I dont want the hounding from family. That evening that is how I felt hounded.

At the hospital I just felt like the hospital staff saw me as this irresponsible young woman who didnt listen to her parents.

I'm so sorry you were treated that way, it's so wrong. What an awful thing to endure. Sending love <3

@butimstillsoblue At the hospital I just felt like the hospital staff saw me as this irresponsible young woman who didnt listen to her parents. The hospital staff didn't say it the expressions on their face spoke for its self when they were approving my mums criticisms of me abusing laxatives.

The whole day at the hospital was nothing but:

" my child doesn't listen to me", "she never listens to me"
" my child has never been fat"
" it's all self inflicted"
" you see it's self inflicted"

Welcome back Firefox. I also have thought about you a number of times since you left. I really hoped you would get some proper support but, unfortunately, it doesn't sound that way.

I'm no expert but I doubt bullying and ridicule really help with eating disorders. Is there any way you can request to see doctors without your family members being present? I'm not convinced you can 'shame' a person into changing. I imagine it will just further isolate them. Who wants to be around people who belittle them and their problems? The doctor most especially should know better.

I don't know. I know you've mentioned how important family is to you. I think sometimes though, you have to consider just how healthy they are to be around. I guess it's tricky if you have no choice though.

Could you maybe just try to tell them, in a calm fashion that their approach isn't helping the situation. That you're actually open to getting help but, belittling the problem isn't helping.

Have the NHS at least offered further support/ appointments? Perhaps now- if they have diagnosed an eating disorder, they will be more likely to offer therapy. I really hope you do get the support you deserve.

@Forever Sleep

>I imagine it will just further isolate them. Who wants to be around people who belittle them and their problems? The doctor most especially should know better.

This is exactly how I felt from all the criticism and the public shaming. I got hospitalised because the NHS didn't get back to me about my referall for the eating disorder clinic

Referall was made in January and I have heard nothing since. I call the clinic which the referall was made and they tell they don't know how long I will have to wait for treatment .

 

[Apathy79]

I can't get my head around it. The doctor especially must know this. Isn't it the exact behaviour that is going to make an ED worse, like by definition? Demonise reporting the underlying symptoms while simultaneously ratcheting up the emotions that lead to the ED in the first place. It must be the first thing you learn about it in medical school. Baffling.

Anyway, congrats on your law school results! Hopefully you can find better support here.

 

[FireFox]

The more I hear about your family, the more I want to slap each one of them in the face. I'm sorry you had to go through that, and I'm sorry about you having to deal with that inconsiderate doctor. I remember, back when I was out of the country, I had to go to the doctor and he noticed my self-harm scar and then went on an entire condescending spiel about how I should go to my mother if I have any issues, even though she's the reason I even started SHing to begin with (I love her, but she isn't the type of person I want to run to and talk about my issues with). With how inappropriate that doctor's behaviour was, I feel like you should file an anonymous complaint against him or something. No one like him should be dealing with mentally ill patients.

@EvisceratedJester This just shows a lot of people working witg vunlerable people don't have empathy or compassion for human suffering. If a child self harms they are not going to go their parents because the thought of a child cutting themselves parents can't cope with that. Even the most loving families can't cope. Jesus some of these Dr's.

When i saw the Dr's nationality that was when i knew him and my mum were going to give me a hard time. They both come from cultures where it is normal to give your kids a hard time and not take seriously mental health in the family.

I had no energy to speak up because I had so much blood taken out of me and the cannula inserted was so painful.

I was not surprised at the Dr behaviour because SOME of these healthcare professionals from certain countries bring their cultural mentality to the western countries they emigrate too. I also know a another woman qualified as nurse from a different African country and she didn't believe in mordern medicine for treating mental illnesses.

I can't get my head around it. The doctor especially must know this. Isn't it the exact behaviour that is going to make an ED worse, like by definition? Demonise reporting the underlying symptoms while simultaneously ratcheting up the emotions that lead to the ED in the first place. It must be the first thing you learn about it in medical school. Baffling.

Anyway, congrats on your law school results! Hopefully you can find better support here.

@Apathy79 I have to resit one of my exams in the summer because I failed a module. My grades are a mix of a distinction, merit and fail. I am struggling to stay motivated already because May is the worst month ever.

My birthday is next week and I am panicking I have not met anyone. I do feel like I am running out of time.

 

[areyousafe??]

Welcome back Firefox. I'm sorry you went through that. I agree with your last paragraph - you absolutely did not deserve the public guilt tripping and shaming. It's not a helpful approach for someone struggling with an ED.

EDs are really hard. I have struggled with disordered eating throughout my life. I started binging and purging when I was at university, then a few periods when I tried to gain back control, restricted my intake and my bmi dropped to 16. I was either "too fat" to my family or "disgustingly thin". I've spent the past year binging which was triggered by work stress, and have gained so much weight that I feel too self conscious to go out in public.

Well done on getting a distinction in your law modules. I hope you are proud of yourself of this achievement.

 

[LostLily]

welcome back, glad to see you still alive. We were worried about you