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[violet2foul]

I'm new and don't know what most acronyms here

I'm searching for an exit after family has completely pulled the plug on cosigning me to go off to university
School was my only solace and way to leave this place i am at (Very transphobic area) and my parents want to control me
I am transgender 21 and need to leave

I can't imagine living here any longer

Someone please help; I can give my discord or am open to pms
I want a non painful exit, I was in a car accident trying to ctb a few months ago and now I feel even more limited in methods without my vehicle

 

[ZeldaNLink1999]

Its your life and your decision and your situation seem very difficult. However, ctb due to not being able to go to school - are you sure there arent other ways to solve your life? You gave context to the story too, so I get it. Just think through it.

 

[Danielwc]

Well, you have been presented with a problem. What can you do about it? What are the options? Don't give up yet. This life wasn't supposed to be easy you know? If you can't change the people you're with then change the people you're with. There are places you can be yourself with no fear of judgement. You have a place here and we need you.

 

[violet2foul]

Its your life and your decision and your situation seem very difficult. However, ctb due to not being able to go to school - are you sure there arent other ways to solve your life? You gave context to the story too, so I get it. Just think through it.

There are many other reasons that I don't feel comfortable posting online - but I have a lot of trauma and this isn't the first time i've considered this or tried, moreso just the final tipping point. I haven't had anything to look forward to years until i started trying recently to improve my life even with my parents being so stuck on controlling me and keeping me from doing anything. But nothing has changed and I'm coming to terms with that again and I can't continue this way it's torture for me mentally, especially being from a place where i can't be myself without feeling like the people around me want me dead anyways

So much mental anguish has built up over the years and I can't take it anymore

 

[6MillionWaystoDie]

If you're 21 can get a job etc. Why not try roughing it on your own?

Admittedly if you were able to go to uni you wouldn't be here so why not just take a leap of faith and step out on your own? If you put the same energy into researching LGBTQ+ friendly companies and neighborhoods that you are getting ready to put into suicide research then you have an equally great chance of success in life.

BTW I'm not a suicide gatekeeper, I'm merely challenging your views and reasoning here. Its something to think about if being at uni right now means that you wouldn't be here at least today, at this moment.

 

[ZeldaNLink1999]

There are many other reasons that I don't feel comfortable posting online - but I have a lot of trauma and this isn't the first time i've considered this or tried, moreso just the final tipping point. I haven't had anything to look forward to years until i started trying recently to improve my life even with my parents being so stuck on controlling me and keeping me from doing anything. But nothing has changed and I'm coming to terms with that again and I can't continue this way it's torture for me mentally, especially being from a place where i can't be myself without feeling like the people around me want me dead anyways

So much mental anguish has built up over the years and I can't take it anymore

Think about it like this:

You have decided that the ruined chance of going to university equals an attempt to ctb.

However:

I can guarantee you, that with that state of mind, you are not ready for university. If you had failed your first exam, you would probably try to ctb too.

This might be a chance for you to solve your life, your health, and after that, do what you want.

Leave your parents. Find a shitty job. Save money. Get friends. Its easier to change it now, than at a new city as a student.

 

[6MillionWaystoDie]

Think about it like this:

You have decided that the ruined chance of going to university equals an attempt to ctb.

However:

I can guarantee you, that with that state of mind, you are not ready for university. If you had failed your first exam, you would probably try to ctb too.

This might be a chance for you to solve your life, your health, and after that, do what you want.

Leave your parents. Find a shitty job. Save money. Get friends. Its easier to change it now, than at a new city as a student.

Not sure i agree with this reasoning of exam failure. Been in this situation and I certainly would not have taken my life over an exam. It is possible to see your path aka "entire life" being derailed as a reason to ctb while being able to handle all the individual ups and downs of your chosen path as it was your big dream and one and only shot at freedom. Heck if this person is a wiz in their chosen subject matter maybe failing an exam is not even a consideration.

The argument you just made was also a faulty argument used against me at the time with no reasonable evidence to back it up. It made no sense considering that I dealt with plenty other BS and trauma throughout secondary school all the while maintaining my grades, which by the way, got me into uni in the first place.

The restriction and decision was solely made to control me and my autonomy regardless of the promise I displayed in my educational studies. I don't know if OPs situation is similar but if so, the restriction could merely be a selfish attempt at seeing OP fail in life so that OP would be unhealthily dependent on the parents. Yes we already know that parents don't always make good decisions and some are parents just outright sh*tty, selfish people.

 

[violet2foul]

Not sure i agree with this reasoning of exam failure. Been in this situation and I certainly would not have taken my life over an exam. It is possible to see your path aka "entire life" being derailed as a reason to ctb while being able to handle all the individual ups and downs of your chosen path as it was your big dream and one and only shot at freedom. Heck if this person is a wiz in their chosen subject matter maybe failing an exam is not even a consideration.

The argument you just made was also a faulty argument used against me at the time with no reasonable evidence to back it up. It made no sense considering that I dealt with plenty other BS and trauma throughout secondary school all the while maintaining my grades, which by the way, got me into uni in the first place.

The restriction and decision was solely made to control me and my autonomy regardless of the promise I displayed in my educational studies. I don't know if OPs situation is similar but if so, the restriction could merely be a selfish attempt at seeing OP fail in life so that OP would be unhealthily dependent on the parents. Yes we already know that parents don't always make good decisions and some are parents just outright sh*tty, selfish people.

I am in my last semester of community college, I am a deans list 3.9 gpa student. I do not really understand this pushback, I know best about my situation. I have dealt with a lot and just want it to end lol I have no future here I live every day knowing laws are being passed to outlaw my existence and make me feel more uncomfortable in my skin, transferring to university wasn't just about school, but about getting health insurance, escaping this state, and escaping my parents. I am not even able to get a job currently here, my parents have refused every attempt of mine.

 

[6MillionWaystoDie]

I am in my last semester of community college, I am a deans list 3.9 gpa student. I do not really understand this pushback, I know best about my situation. I have dealt with a lot and just want it to end lol I have no future here I live every day knowing laws are being passed to outlaw my existence and make me feel more uncomfortable in my skin, transferring to university wasn't just about school, but about getting health insurance, escaping this state, and escaping my parents. I am not even able to get a job currently here, my parents have refused every attempt of mine.

I totally understand your situation to a tee minus the LGBTQ+ part. I'm sure that's an added stressor. I can't imagine. It would be great if you can get your post count up more so that we could PM. I see that you are understandably uncomfortable posting more details publicly but if you don't mind chatting a bit privately that may help in the meantime.

At some point these posts will also help you access the search bar as well so it won't all be for naught should you choose continue down this path.

Looking forward to chatting with you.


Edit: try making posts in the game section off topic.

 

[FuneralCry]

Sadly there are no easy answers as to the best way to ctb as after all we exist in such an anti suicide society where painless methods get restricted from us. All that anyone can do on here is do there own research, there is the suicide resource compilation section here for that purpose. And by the way there are quite a few anti choice type people on here, but your feelings are completely valid and only you know what is best for yourself. It's very much understandable wishing to be free from this hellish world, but anyway best wishes.

 

[speck]

I am in my last semester of community college, I am a deans list 3.9 gpa student. I do not really understand this pushback, I know best about my situation. I have dealt with a lot and just want it to end lol I have no future here I live every day knowing laws are being passed to outlaw my existence and make me feel more uncomfortable in my skin, transferring to university wasn't just about school, but about getting health insurance, escaping this state, and escaping my parents. I am not even able to get a job currently here, my parents have refused every attempt of mine.

3.9 gpa? Why do you need your parents to co-sign off on your college transfer? If this is about money, there are lots of places that love to give student loans. Depending on your financial situation, you may be eligible for FAFSA. Depending on your location, you may be eligible for specific in state tuition breaks or even tuition breaks for other states (western exchange, etc).
At 21, you're still dorm age- it might be worth swallowing a loan to move out of your parents and into a dorm, and get a job on campus.
You are very young and still have the opportunity to get out from under your parents control. I wonder if there's more to your attempt to ctb than your parents and the stress you face in your area- at the end of the day, it is up to you. But there are still options for you to get out and make a better life for yourself.
I think you should apply to a few schools, talk to your CC financial aid office before you give up tbh.
I'm also not a suicide gate keeper. This site has all the info you need. I just think you have a solvable issue.

 

[iwantdeath6969]

a lot of the people here seem to not understand what it's actually like being trans. i'm trans, and it's ruined my life in a lot of ways. it's so unbearable sometimes, i understand where you're coming from. i can't really give advice on whether you should ctb or not, but i hope in some way you're able to find a way to be yourself whatever the circumstance is