Help help with suicide note?

[lanax09]

Planning to ctb in about 24 hours; I wrote my suicide note to the best of my ability but it just feels too short, like it's missing something. Or is it fine? (names censored for obvious reasons)

If you're reading this, I'll probably be dead or dying. I have no idea who you are or how much you care to hear, so I'll try to be brief.
I killed myself because of my emotionally abusive mother and my own self-destructive habits, no one else is to blame. My mother is judgemental, controlling, critical, mean, plays the victim, and is extremely reluctant to accept responsibility for (or even recognise) how she affects others. I do not wish to go into more detail and this will end up dragging on if I do. I know that she will never be able to accept that this is her causation and that she will try and accuse me of lying and/or shift the blame onto me or other people (I highly suspect that she will blame ******* and **** in particular; while I might not necessarily like these people, I do not blame them at all for this) and she has succeeded many times in making herself seem innocent. Please take me seriously this time, as I know that people have usually believed my mother over me in the past. Not just for my sake, but for my brother's.
The combined weight of my mother's constant stream of beratement and bullying and my severe lack of motivation to study that leaves me with no hope for a successful future is the source of my suicidal desires, and my mother's anger at me and worsened treatment of me since my seeking help for these feelings has pushed me over the edge earlier than I originally intended. I will kill myself with sleeping pills and a plastic bag. It will not be painful.
To any friends reading this, I'm sorry for hurting you this way; to any teachers reading this, I'm sorry for never doing my homework on time. To any police or whoever the hell it is that handle suicides reading this, please help my brother. And to my dearest mother, see you in hell.

Thanks for reading

 

[Raggedyandy]

So, my 2 cents...totally up to you what you choose to write in your note, but you posted in a way that seems like you really want feedback, so I'm going to say something. I'm in no way criticizing what you wrote, just providing my perspective as I think there is a chance you'll find it interesting.

Personally, I could never place blame / speak negatively of anyone in my notes. As much pain as my family has caused me (my older brother molested me for years and violently raped me when I was 14; my mom physically abused me and my siblings for years), I just can't bring myself to make my final words to them words of resentment. I'd much rather take that to my grave. As much suffering as they caused me, I take no pleasure in them suffering; I'd rather break the cycle. They know what they did. If they're decent humans under all those bad layers, their own guilt in finding me dead will be torture enough. And if they're not and they never realize what they did, then they're beyond help.

 

[WornOutLife]

I think every suicide note is and will be always different because we all have different reasons to ctb and some people need to express their hatred to those who hurt them and some just don't.

In your case, what I would add would be the info of what I want people to do with my stuff and passwords they might need (for instance, bank account, cashier, etc) and if you have someone you still love, it would be nice to write a specific letter for them or even record a goodbye video.

At least that what I'll do.

Wish you the best and I'm sorry this world has been so unfair to you. You deserve peace and no suffering.

Hugs and love,

Matt

 

[_elliott]

it's your last note - y'know? make sure you get everything out i feel that you need to say. like wornout said above : passwords, notes to loved ones, ect. it's also like a will in a way. anything you want to leave to someone you care?

i hope you get peace as well. sorry it turned this way for you

 

[jenepeuxdiremonnom]

the note is great

*hugs* @lanax09

 

[StateOfMind]

it's your last note - y'know? make sure you get everything out i feel that you need to say. like wornout said above : passwords, notes to loved ones, ect. it's also like a will in a way. anything you want to leave to someone you care?

i hope you get peace as well. sorry it turned this way for you

In addition to this maybe add a clause to have you not "revived" or to take you off feeding tubes in case you ctb goes wrong.
Maybe even send a copy of that to a legal entity that can verify your last wishes.
I have a note and will send via email on a schedule of my choosing.