Help Help with suicide note

[Sadbrains]

As the title states, I need help with my note. I do not plan on CTB until at least the end of the year, but I want to have my note written early, which brings me to my first problem. Do you guys think it would be problematic if I typed it instead? I doubt a note would ever be found early since no one cares to check on me anyways, but I feel paranoid and my luck is bad which is why I'd rather type it and just print it out when the day comes. Would this make it suspicious when I'm found???
Secondly, I have no clue what I should put in it. I truly feel there are maybe 2 people who would actually care when I'm gone and they most likely won't be the ones to read the note, so should I just spill what lead me up to this point or should I still try to keep it all cheerful? What do you guys think would give better closure if it actually does effect someone? Thanks much in advance. I'm probably overthinking everything.

 

[Fwompje]

If you mean suspicious as in, people thinking it was a staged suicide and murder instead: they can tell the difference. It's no problem to type it out.

From what I've heard from family members of people who committed suicide, it's most helpful to write down why you did it and perhaps what you want for your stuff, if you want to be cremated etc. You can adress people, make it emotional, but it can be formal as well.

I find it really difficult to get it right myself, I've written many notes yet it never truly encapsulates what I feel or what I want people to know. It's a complex part of suicide and many people on here have opinions on complete ends of the spectrum.

 

[Sadbrains]

I find it really difficult to get it right myself, I've written many notes yet it never truly encapsulates what I feel or what I want people to know. It's a complex part of suicide and many people on here have opinions on complete ends of the spectrum.

I'm already feeling this. I erased every thing 3 times before asking here, still trying to write, and after some time passed of posting this, I think it might help if I write a light autobiography and just keep the note very basic. Thank you for the reply. I never really thought about saying what I wanted for myself after death or mentioning anyone, which could help get the 2 people I feel close to a chance to read it (They are not family so typically would have no reason to be handed my last words).

 

[HerculePoirot]

I'd suggest not to write a suicide note until you are about to do the deed. Many things may change in the meantime, and your note may be discovered prematurely with unpredictable consequences.

 

[Sadbrains]

I'd suggest not to write a suicide note until you are about to do the deed. Many things may change in the meantime, and your note may be discovered prematurely with unpredictable consequences.

This is why I type it. No one has ever been on my computer except me (And the people selling my data of course lol). I also opt to do it early because I feel I will not have enough time to express what I want. A note feels hand in hand with planning CTB in my case but I understand why one would wait.

 

[SilentSadness]

I personally wouldn't write a note, if you choose to though I'd make sure it didn't sound bitter. I would also confirm it was my choice and that I'm at peace now.

 

[HerculePoirot]

This is why I type it. No one has ever been on my computer except me (And the people selling my data of course lol)

If you have a poorly protected computer (Windows in other words), your data ARE probably being monitored, scrutinized and sold. Be careful.

 

[stoopid]

It depends mostly on the relations you had, ->

Do you want them to know something?
Do You want them to feel something?
Do you want to be truthful even if it may hurt then ?

Or confess something (?)


I think the part of writing a letter is somewhat harder than suicide itself

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I can share one I wrote as a sample if you'd like.

"Dear XXX,

I'm afraid my time's up. It's been up for a long time. I just want you to know how much I appreciated your presence in my life and how much I valued you as a human. I hope you never doubt that. I wish you all the best for the rest of your life.

All my love,

XXX"

I prioritized brevity and conciseness. As you can see I didn't really explain my reasons but that's because in my case my struggles have been pretty overt. I don't think I'll leave any general letter about those to be honest.

 

[Sadbrains]

I can share one I wrote as a sample if you'd like.

"Dear XXX,

I'm afraid my time's up. It's been up for a long time. I just want you to know how much I appreciated your presence in my life and how much I valued you as a human. I hope you never doubt that. I wish you all the best for the rest of your life.

All my love,

XXX"

I prioritized brevity and conciseness. As you can see I didn't really explain my reasons but that's because in my case my struggles have been pretty overt. I don't think I'll leave any general letter about those to be honest.

I originally thought I'd simply not leave a note. When I actually did attempt and came pretty close to success in my teenage years, I practically committed to my plan overnight, no letter or anything. However, some of my problems stem from me becoming more and more selfness, no matter how shitty people and life can be. I constantly think about how many unanswered questions I could potentially leave people with so I guess I am going for a bit of a damage control approach.

I think if that's the note you choose to leave if you ever decide to CTB, it's great. Your priorities did you good, because I feel it said so much. A really poetic thing to leave. Maybe I will end up making the note short and to the point because I'm really struggling writing it. Perhaps I should just write a book that would explain everything, and leave a tiny note that leads them to finding the book and thanking those who meant anything to me.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me, the whole point of a note would be to act as a form of closure for those left behind and mean that they aren't left with as many unanswered questions. I would write some kind of explanation to give some understanding saying things like this is "what I wanted", and maybe explain why suicide was the best thing for me.

 

[ironstar]

As FuneralCry said before me the point of my note would be closure. For me that might mean typing and retyping a note for each person - if you know you won't be found that means the people who do eventually find you will be police or ambulance staff / EMTs so I'd write something for each person and put it in an envelope addressed to them and maybe a third for whoever has to find me. You have a year so you have so many times to change it on your computer and if/when the time comes that you're ready I'd personally choose to write it out by hand because I know that the few people I know would appreciate that and it would make it slightly easier for them but that's your call..
I'd go with whatever I found over the year I had left made my passing easier for the people left behind to let them know in their heart that it's truly and properly my decision. Just know that whatever you choose will be right. only you know yourself and the people around you. I hope all goes well xx

 

[Sadbrains]

As FuneralCry said before me the point of my note would be closure. For me that might mean typing and retyping a note for each person - if you know you won't be found that means the people who do eventually find you will be police or ambulance staff / EMTs so I'd write something for each person and put it in an envelope addressed to them and maybe a third for whoever has to find me. You have a year so you have so many times to change it on your computer and if/when the time comes that you're ready I'd personally choose to write it out by hand because I know that the few people I know would appreciate that and it would make it slightly easier for them but that's your call..
I'd go with whatever I found over the year I had left made my passing easier for the people left behind to let them know in their heart that it's truly and properly my decision. Just know that whatever you choose will be right. only you know yourself and the people around you. I hope all goes well xx

This is actually really smart as well, considering a big problem I face is trying to express everything at once to everyone at the same time although I need to express different emotions to different people. Like maybe one friend can get a cheerful letter while my parents just get something blunt (but not harsh because I'm still not the type of person who would want someone to suffer because of my choice regardless of how I felt they treated me).

Thank you for your reply and kind words! All these suggestions have been things I have not been smart enough to think of myself. Heh.

 

[Sad4Evr]

I'm already feeling this. I erased every thing 3 times before asking here, still trying to write, and after some time passed of posting this, I think it might help if I write a light autobiography and just keep the note very basic. Thank you for the reply. I never really thought about saying what I wanted for myself after death or mentioning anyone, which could help get the 2 people I feel close to a chance to read it (They are not family so typically would have no reason to be handed my last words).

You could always add in the the note that you wish the two people that you mentioned get to read the note. As on of your final wishes.

 

[Sadbrains]

You could always add in the the note that you wish the two people that you mentioned get to read the note. As on of your final wishes.

I want to say sorry for such a late response, but I finally finished the note and I did exactly this! I also decided to keep some additional notes hidden on my pc, and will schedule them to go out on social medias if I decide to go through CTB, so I can make sure my final thoughts and more can find way to many people. My goal is to also use myself as an example. to spread awareness although it may not work. But if I can make 1 person feel understood because there are likeminded people, my death will no longer be done while saying "I did not accomplish anything in life".

Additionally, welcome to the forums! I see you are new. :)