Help Help with my plan

[sometimes.sometimes]

I don't know what I am 100% going to do, but I just know that I want to get a new place before I CTB. I don't want my family to see me dead. I have been calling apartments around town, and have been applying for jobs that pay minimum wage. The job search is hard because everybody is racing to get a job. Half the people in my town don't even have any because it is hard. I feel like finding an apartment isn't going to be as hard as finding a job, though. Still hard, but easier.

The part that makes me sad is that my mom has been wanting me to stay with her because she is worried about me. She is worried that I will have a breakdown, and then take my life. What other option do I have, though? School is hard, meds don't work, and some doctors always cancel last minute when we have an appointment set up. I do want to get better, but my hope of getting better is far gone now.

Maybe something will happen in the future, but I highly doubt it at this point.

I also plan on giving my mom money before I die because she is having a hard time with money.

Does this part of my plan seem reasonable? Is there anything I should keep in mind or change?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It's up 2 you. I don't see anything wrong with this plan. What's your method?

 

[sometimes.sometimes]

It's up 2 you. I don't see anything wrong with this plan. What's your method?

After seeing what people are talking about here, I have been thinking about hanging or SN. I still don't know much about those two methods, though. I need to do more research.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best with your plans, I hope you find what you search for.

 

[020x]

After seeing what people are talking about here, I have been thinking about hanging or SN. I still don't know much about those two methods, though. I need to do more research.

Definitely do your research. But before that, see if you can find a solution first about your situation and try to fight in this life till you can't, anymore. I'm not a pro-life individual, I believe everyone has the right to end their pain at any moment. But leaving family members that care about you, they will be hurt forever. Remember that.

I always said to people "don't endlessly suffer just to be alive for others", but that only if this life gives you no other option than to suffer every single day.

I believe that you can get through this, that's why I would recommend not giving up this quick.

Either way, it's up to you to decide, so if you want a method, I would recommend SN over hanging, but it's not easy to get, especially when most governments are aware about it being used for suicide purposes. Also it's the purity of it that matters, don't just buy random SN, it's purity has to be 99% at least (99.5% recommended). Make a new post about where to get it, someone might PM you a link but be aware of scams.

Regardless of what you'll decide, I only wish for everything to work out for you. Goodluck