• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block.

mangomango

mangomango

Member
Dec 17, 2021
15
Hi everyone! I'm new here and would like some advice please. I've been suicidal for like 5 years now, and it only gets worse lol. I used to live in the US with my bf but my career went to shit, I'm too depressed todo anything consistently (including a job), im a complete failure in life and my relationship with my bf isn't working out so I've moved back home to South Africa. I have no friends (all my friends abandoned me because of my severe depression). I have a great family, but unfortunately that's not enough of a reason to stay alive at this point.

I feel SO MUCH guilt about ctb but i actually can't bear to stay alive anymore. Is there a way to kill myself without it looking like a suicide? I was gonna try suffocating with a plastic bag but I'm not sure how effective that method is, and it's too obvious. I'm not sure how to access sodium nitrate from south africa but I just want a quick, somewhat painless death that doesn't look like suicide. I know I'm probably asking for too much but I just thought it might be worth a shot.

thank u in advance! (ps im so grateful for this space, I feel like I've finally found a group of likeminded people!!)
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: nopointofliving, blueclover_. and Cherry xoxo
P

PeacefulTonic

Enlightened
Aug 10, 2021
1,006
Sorry, there's no way a suicide can be made to look like an accident, unless you have outside assistance. And they could be faced with legal implications
 
  • Like
Reactions: justsayin, LADY007, demuic and 1 other person
C

Cherry xoxo

Member
Oct 15, 2021
35
I know how you feel, I also wanted my death to look like an accident but unfortunately that's really hard to do I've settled for SN.
I also have alot of guilt but mainly because of my family and I know how much it would hurt them but each day just crushes me more and more and it's too difficult to hold onto this life.

I'm also from SA, there's many chemical suppliers that sell SN, I got mine within a couple of days it was also really cheap like less than R200 with delivery.
 
mangomango

mangomango

Member
Dec 17, 2021
15
I know how you feel, I also wanted my death to look like an accident but unfortunately that's really hard to do I've settled for SN.
I also have alot of guilt but mainly because of my family and I know how much it would hurt them but each day just crushes me more and more and it's too difficult to hold onto this life.

I'm also from SA, there's many chemical suppliers that sell SN, I got mine within a couple of days it was also really cheap like less than R200 with delivery.
ahh I totally relate! would you mind sending me the link or telling me the name of the website you got your SN from? (sorry for being so annoying and thank you in advance!)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cherry xoxo
Manaaja

Manaaja

euROPE
Sep 10, 2018
1,476
ahh I totally relate! would you mind sending me the link or telling me the name of the website you got your SN from? (sorry for being so annoying and thank you in advance!)
There's a new rule: no sources! Because of anti-suicide people, we won't be posting sources anymore. It's against the rules.
 
  • Like
Reactions: PeacefulTonic and mangomango
C

Cherry xoxo

Member
Oct 15, 2021
35
ahh I totally relate! would you mind sending me the link or telling me the name of the website you got your SN from? (sorry for being so annoying and thank you in advance!)

You can pm me..
 
blueclover_.

blueclover_.

Better Never to Have Been: 2006, David Benatar
Oct 11, 2021
668
I have a plan... lol. Pm me if you wanna talk about anything
 
  • Like
Reactions: PeacefulTonic
S

summers

Visionary
Nov 4, 2020
2,493
Sorry, there's no way a suicide can be made to look like an accident, unless you have outside assistance. And they could be faced with legal implications
Yes, there is. 100% done by yourself. I know at least 3.
 
  • Like
Reactions: blueclover_.
Pluto

Pluto

Cat Extremist
Dec 27, 2020
5,327
A bittersweet welcome to you! Since you're in ZA, have you considered booping the snoot of a rhino? :hihi:

Hope you feel some relief from having understanding from us here.
 
Geturdone

Geturdone

Getting old ain't for sissies
Dec 9, 2021
85
Yes, there is. 100% done by yourself. I know at least 3.
Yes , threesummers, I agree. Several I've thought of just now take some planning and resolve. I'm reminded of the case of David Carradine's death by auto asphyxiation. Admittedly, such a situation will take some staging but a vivid account of his death can be found on the internet. Cases like his are always ruled accidental. Then too there's automobile accidents, electrocution, falls from high places or in front of subway trains. I've always heard drowning can be quite pleasant. All can be carried out with no other help. We here know that suicide is serious business and requires serious thought and planning to be successful. I happen to think it's the impulsive attempts, situations involving GSW to the head, pills etc that can be avoided and make everything appear accidental. Best wishes to all. It's very cold where I live today so I'll even add "stay warm" lol
 
mangomango

mangomango

Member
Dec 17, 2021
15
You can pm me..
damn, for some reason this site isn't letting me pm people, but I'll definitely look up some suppliers. Thank you!
A bittersweet welcome to you! Since you're in ZA, have you considered booping the snoot of a rhino? :hihi:

Hope you feel some relief from having understanding from us here.
haha I've never thought to do that but Im definitely curious now
Yes, there is. 100% done by yourself. I know at least 3.
omg please share!
 

Similar threads

P
Replies
6
Views
324
Suicide Discussion
Linda
Linda
C
Replies
9
Views
401
Suicide Discussion
timechained
T
G
Replies
11
Views
380
Suicide Discussion
FuneralCry
FuneralCry
ThatFlyIndividual
Replies
9
Views
444
Recovery
moonlightbeach
moonlightbeach
M
Replies
2
Views
321
Suicide Discussion
Meatballhead
M