letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
Help me my parents want to take me in a psychiatric hospital without reasons, just because i hate going outside. My mom this morning starting yelling me things like "get away from this house, you're just a hindrance for us, a mess, you've got your life so bad, I'll soon die and then I want to see what you'll do. i don't wish you to die because i have to die, not you. you ungrateful. take your belongings and get out of this house, never come back". these words are stuck in my mind, how i can be so shit for them.. even though i never ask anything, no new clothes, no meals, nothing. i have severe problems with my thyroid and they never interested in these. they won't me let drive, doing my stuff, nothing. they control me like a dog, like i'm in chains. they were so egoist to made me born in this life and now they want to be more egoist doing that. As i said some times ago i have a lil cancer in my sx kidney, trichotillomania, a severe gender dysphoria, a big problem with my short height and a bad depression. i want to ctb since i was 11.
in 11 days it's my birthday, the 20 dicember and all i want is to die before this date. i'm in a state which guns are so hard to obtain, i want to try SN but i dont know how to order and which address using to shipping because my parents control everything. i want to run out of this house and go in place when i can buy my things to ctb. can you help me with some good ideas? thank you guys, you're my real and only one family, i'm saying this crying. I love you all
 
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D

Donewith_

Elementalist
Sep 28, 2018
876
So sorry to see you in this situation ,that your parents are ill-treating you. Hugs. You can try 'partial suspension' if you have access to a rope, alternatively is there any chance you can get out of that place, get a job that you can maintain alongside your treatment. Sometimes, things make sense once you get out of abusive place. You can think clearly then . I've seen that happen , yeah but now everything is good between my parents and me.
 
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L

Lifeisatrap

Arcanist
Oct 5, 2018
408
I'm in the same rut. I want to move so badly so I can just ctb in peace already but can't. It sucks so bad:(
 
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J Tizzle

J Tizzle

Member
Dec 7, 2018
58
That sounds awful, I'm so sorry you're in that position. I agree with the above poster, is it possible for you to get away from the situation? I know sometimes it is not and if thats the case I really am sorry you're stuck there.
 
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G

GeorgeEastman

Arcanist
Sep 3, 2018
470
Racing thoughts like that are hell. The only relief will come once the energy is depleted.
 
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W

Witt Smith

Member
Nov 20, 2018
17
Your parents are horrible tell them this. I did not want to be born and I did not ask to be born its your fault. You gave me horrible genes. Just play the victim and blame game.
 
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ReadyasEver

ReadyasEver

Elementalist
Dec 6, 2018
828
A concept I have never fully grasped. How could a parent be so vile and demeaning to their children? Just boggles my mind. I feel for you and hope you can find peace to your situation. The people here are a great source of reassurance.
 
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therhydler

therhydler

Enlightened
Dec 7, 2018
1,196
So sorry you're in this situation. If there is really no hope for the future I would try partial suspension with a rope or even something else like a belt. But if you can try to get out of that place, you don't deserve this
 
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Kdawg2018

Kdawg2018

Still here...
Nov 10, 2018
272
Help me my parents want to take me in a psychiatric hospital without reasons, just because i hate going outside. My mom this morning starting yelling me things like "get away from this house, you're just a hindrance for us, a mess, you've got your life so bad, I'll soon die and then I want to see what you'll do. i don't wish you to die because i have to die, not you. you ungrateful. take your belongings and get out of this house, never come back". these words are stuck in my mind, how i can be so shit for them.. even though i never ask anything, no new clothes, no meals, nothing. i have severe problems with my thyroid and they never interested in these. they won't me let drive, doing my stuff, nothing. they control me like a dog, like i'm in chains. they were so egoist to made me born in this life and now they want to be more egoist doing that. As i said some times ago i have a lil cancer in my sx kidney, trichotillomania, a severe gender dysphoria, a big problem with my short height and a bad depression. i want to ctb since i was 11.
in 11 days it's my birthday, the 20 dicember and all i want is to die before this date. i'm in a state which guns are so hard to obtain, i want to try SN but i dont know how to order and which address using to shipping because my parents control everything. i want to run out of this house and go in place when i can buy my things to ctb. can you help me with some good ideas? thank you guys, you're my real and only one family, i'm saying this crying. I love you all


what about getting your package sent to the local post office under your name -hold for pickup
 
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letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
So sorry to see you in this situation ,that your parents are ill-treating you. Hugs. You can try 'partial suspension' if you have access to a rope, alternatively is there any chance you can get out of that place, get a job that you can maintain alongside your treatment. Sometimes, things make sense once you get out of abusive place. You can think clearly then . I've seen that happen , yeah but now everything is good between my parents and me.
unfortunately I can not work properly because of my kidney even if I worked until now and I worked for people who have exploited me by paying little and nothing, I could not even find a house because the money is few. I will try to get access to the SN but idk how because they control everything
 
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letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
I'm in the same rut. I want to move so badly so I can just ctb in peace already but can't. It sucks so bad:(
I feel locked up in a cage and the only solution I see is ctb. Unfortunately, my parents control me a lot and so I don't know how to get the SN :(
 
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letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
That sounds awful, I'm so sorry you're in that position. I agree with the above poster, is it possible for you to get away from the situation? I know sometimes it is not and if thats the case I really am sorry you're stuck there.
I'm really stuck here since my kidney hurts plus my thyroid doesn't allow me to sleep at all, the only solution I see is ctb even if they control me and this makes me fall even further down
 
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letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
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letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
Your parents are horrible tell them this. I did not want to be born and I did not ask to be born its your fault. You gave me horrible genes. Just play the victim and blame game.
I agree too much with you, they are and have been selfish by thinking only about their desires by putting me in this stupid and painful world, where to look is better than being, where if you're not up to standard then you're mentally ill
 
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letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
A concept I have never fully grasped. How could a parent be so vile and demeaning to their children? Just boggles my mind. I feel for you and hope you can find peace to your situation. The people here are a great source of reassurance.
I'm listening to their harassment since I was 5 years old, my mother told me that I was a burden to them and that I had to die. From that moment I felt the first signs of depression and growing over the years they beat me, slap me without reasons, they quarreled among themselves using knives or other weapons, I saw some bad things in this house. But at least one positive thing I found here in this site with all of you. You all make me feel comfortable and loved. I want to thank the SS community. I want to thank you all, I feel so blessed to have met you all and I feel especially lucky to be able to talk with you. On the occasion I want to thank also the founder of this beautiful site that makes us free to choose how and when.
 
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letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
So sorry you're in this situation. If there is really no hope for the future I would try partial suspension with a rope or even something else like a belt. But if you can try to get out of that place, you don't deserve this
no hope for the future, things get worse every day with them who still want to beat me and offend me. So I think that the only one who can destroy myself is me with my hands
 
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letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
what about getting your package sent to the local post office under your name -hold for pickup
Sorry if i ask because i don't know so much about it, how it works and how i can do it? also thank you for the advice
 
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D

Donewith_

Elementalist
Sep 28, 2018
876
unfortunately I can not work properly because of my kidney even if I worked until now and I worked for people who have exploited me by paying little and nothing, I could not even find a house because the money is few. I will try to get access to the SN but idk how because they control everything

If you want to ctb only because of your parents , and if there is a small hope or wish in your heart to live for yourself, to give a chance to life.. you can get help I think.. like may be asking for assistance in subreddits. Is there any friend or relative that can help you?
If you choose to ctb, I totally respect that. I am just putting some feasible options.
 
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letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
If you want to ctb only because of your parents , and if there is a small hope or wish in your heart to live for yourself, to give a chance to life.. you can get help I think.. like may be asking for assistance in subreddits. Is there any friend or relative that can help you?
If you choose to ctb, I totally respect that. I am just putting some feasible options.
Not just for them but for all my problems, i have a severe trichotillomania and other problems i said on the post, they break me
 
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Moony21

Moony21

Experienced
Nov 23, 2018
273
I'm really stuck here since my kidney hurts plus my thyroid doesn't allow me to sleep at all, the only solution I see is ctb even if they control me and this makes me fall even further down

So sorry to hear that... You dont have medicaments for thr Thyroid? I don't have a Thyroid anymore but I need daily meds.
 
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M

MsM3talGamer

Voluntary deletion
Nov 28, 2018
1,504
Dang. I hope you manage to get out of this situation, OP.
 
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Kdawg2018

Kdawg2018

Still here...
Nov 10, 2018
272
Sorry if i ask because i don't know so much about it, how it works and how i can do it? also thank you for the advice

Whatever you order you put

Post Office Name
Hold for pickup - your name
Post office st adress
Post office city, state, zip code

Then you will show the post office your ID to pick it up, you can call your local PO to ask them about it
 
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letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
So sorry to hear that... You dont have medicaments for thr Thyroid? I don't have a Thyroid anymore but I need daily meds.
Unfortunately I live in a little country and I need a car to go to a doctor and they won't let me. My thyroid doesn't work at all and it doesn't let me sleep and that really sucks because i really hate life so i wish i could spend more time sleeping :(
 
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letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
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letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
Whatever you order you put

Post Office Name
Hold for pickup - your name
Post office st adress
Post office city, state, zip code

Then you will show the post office your ID to pick it up, you can call your local PO to ask them about it
Thank you so so much
Also do you think it's a problem if I live in a little country and some people that working on PO know my parents so well?
 
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Moony21

Moony21

Experienced
Nov 23, 2018
273
Unfortunately I live in a little country and I need a car to go to a doctor and they won't let me. My thyroid doesn't work at all and it doesn't let me sleep and that really sucks because i really hate life so i wish i could spend more time sleeping :(
That sounds awful. Don't you think you could feel so bad because of the thyroid? I know the sleepless problems. I can feel your pain. Did you remove the thyroid in a sugery?
 
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RememberWhatUCameFor

RememberWhatUCameFor

dont cry for me im already dead
Nov 20, 2018
590
they dont allow you to see a doctor to get a harmful disease treated...????
 
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BellaKAT

BellaKAT

Student
May 20, 2018
171
Can you see a doctor? I think it would really help if you get treatment for your thyroid.I've seen people do a 180 emotionally after thyroid treatment, it's worth looking into.
 
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