Help Help finding a way to go?

[Chaos]

I finally took the step to try doing it, but I wanted help on the way I could do it, right now the only possible way for me would be through some med or poison, but I don't know which I could get, I will give a bit more detail on my situation first:

I've been suffering in the last ten years, I've grown into a stable family with a decent income, so I was able to find good psychiatrists did all kind of tests, but I was never able to find the problem with me, while what I have shown is more anxiety and depression on the outside but for me, it's just the tip of the iceberg, the only thing in mind that comes to me for an explanation is a sequel I got while growing from 2 meningitis I had while I was a toddler, yes I had two times one when I was one and other when I was 2, when I was 1i had the most aggressive type and while no one can confirm aside of coma I'm pretty sure from memories I had a death experience

Through the last years, life was nothing more than seeing parts of me dying, as if I'm collapsing its impossible to put it in words, inside of me there is no strength, there is no motivation, there is not the ability to put "effort,"

Most people that I talk try talking otherwise. Still, I'm not naive, neither I cling to false hopes I know very well how much difference in how I perceive, feel, see the world compared with others, I know how different is the situation between me and others, I meet several people, I studied several cases, and none of them were similar.

Right now I can't even leave my house, I'm dependent on my mother, and everyone knows the time of crisis we are right now, after going through so much I wish I could have a way to go painless and fast, something without despair as I had in my life, I don't plan to do it now, neither tomorrow I'm a stubborn person and even though I'm like this its part of me keep fighting, I want to have a way that is the worst I can leave in peace, that even in my last days I will have to die suffering and in agony

So I want help to discover if there is something I could buy that there is no need to prescriptions, something easy to get that can be used for suicide, I can't leave my house, and I depend on my mother so trying suicide bag or something similar is impossible since I can't hide the tanks and another reason I want help its because in the last ten years I took a different kind of meds for my problems some extremely strong but I barely feel actual effect aside of some side effects, and I don't know if such resistance could play a significant role, and I don't dare to play around with things like this.

Thanks in advance for those that try to help

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Newly added to the Rules and FAQ (just today!)...

Tips for members continued and DISCLAIMER

Just as a disclaimer, NO ONE on this site will advise you on how to painlessly and successfully end you're life. Helping someone die, including advising and including specifics, is against the rules of the site and is completely unethical. The site offers information and respects the choice of an individual's decisions and the onus is on the individual to find the information necessary, which helps in making their decision.

If you're looking for methods and resources on going down a certain path, then please use and take advantage of both the search function of the site and the resources section of the forum as both are you're friends, in finding information. please don't be dependent on asking others for information. you can find the resources section here: Resources

Many of us often times feel lost and unsure of what we truly wanna do. we let our emotions dictate how we act and guide our judgement through impulsivity. we also have a recovery area of the forum, which includes recovery treatments and a compilation of resources for hotlines. feel free to explore the forum and different parts of the forum including the recovery; which may or may not help, as it doesn't hurt. see below:

Recovery Section

Recovery Treatments

Wanting to Talk to Someone

We encourage existing users to play a role in providing new members of the site with such information; even simply copy and pasting the tips and disclaimer above is helpful.

 

[jgm63]

I finally took the step to try doing it, but I wanted help on the way I could do it, right now the only possible way for me would be through some med or poison, but I don't know which I could get, I will give a bit more detail on my situation first:

I've been suffering in the last ten years, I've grown into a stable family with a decent income, so I was able to find good psychiatrists did all kind of tests, but I was never able to find the problem with me, while what I have shown is more anxiety and depression on the outside but for me, it's just the tip of the iceberg, the only thing in mind that comes to me for an explanation is a sequel I got while growing from 2 meningitis I had while I was a toddler, yes I had two times one when I was one and other when I was 2, when I was 1i had the most aggressive type and while no one can confirm aside of coma I'm pretty sure from memories I had a death experience

Through the last years, life was nothing more than seeing parts of me dying, as if I'm collapsing its impossible to put it in words, inside of me there is no strength, there is no motivation, there is not the ability to put "effort,"

Most people that I talk try talking otherwise. Still, I'm not naive, neither I cling to false hopes I know very well how much difference in how I perceive, feel, see the world compared with others, I know how different is the situation between me and others, I meet several people, I studied several cases, and none of them were similar.

Right now I can't even leave my house, I'm dependent on my mother, and everyone knows the time of crisis we are right now, after going through so much I wish I could have a way to go painless and fast, something without despair as I had in my life, I don't plan to do it now, neither tomorrow I'm a stubborn person and even though I'm like this its part of me keep fighting, I want to have a way that is the worst I can leave in peace, that even in my last days I will have to die suffering and in agony

So I want help to discover if there is something I could buy that there is no need to prescriptions, something easy to get that can be used for suicide, I can't leave my house, and I depend on my mother so trying suicide bag or something similar is impossible since I can't hide the tanks and another reason I want help its because in the last ten years I took a different kind of meds for my problems some extremely strong but I barely feel actual effect aside of some side effects, and I don't know if such resistance could play a significant role, and I don't dare to play around with things like this.

Thanks in advance for those that try to help

If you spend a bit of time looking around on this forum, you should be able to pick up some information.
You can also see what types of things others are discussing.

This site also has a very good search function (and advanced search).
Try using that to search, research, and read up.

To talk to someone privately (instead of posting on threads), you can use "PM" (PM = "personal message", bit like email)
You need to make at least 5 posts and be active for at least 24 hours to get access.
If you don't know what to post, post in some of the "games" threads (see "offtopic" section).
Once you have PM access, when you hover the mouse pointer over a user name, you'll see a "start conversation" button...

 

[jgm63]

I finally took the step to try doing it, but I wanted help on the way I could do it, right now the only possible way for me would be through some med or poison, but I don't know which I could get, I will give a bit more detail on my situation first:

I've been suffering in the last ten years, I've grown into a stable family with a decent income, so I was able to find good psychiatrists did all kind of tests, but I was never able to find the problem with me, while what I have shown is more anxiety and depression on the outside but for me, it's just the tip of the iceberg, the only thing in mind that comes to me for an explanation is a sequel I got while growing from 2 meningitis I had while I was a toddler, yes I had two times one when I was one and other when I was 2, when I was 1i had the most aggressive type and while no one can confirm aside of coma I'm pretty sure from memories I had a death experience

Through the last years, life was nothing more than seeing parts of me dying, as if I'm collapsing its impossible to put it in words, inside of me there is no strength, there is no motivation, there is not the ability to put "effort,"

Most people that I talk try talking otherwise. Still, I'm not naive, neither I cling to false hopes I know very well how much difference in how I perceive, feel, see the world compared with others, I know how different is the situation between me and others, I meet several people, I studied several cases, and none of them were similar.

Right now I can't even leave my house, I'm dependent on my mother, and everyone knows the time of crisis we are right now, after going through so much I wish I could have a way to go painless and fast, something without despair as I had in my life, I don't plan to do it now, neither tomorrow I'm a stubborn person and even though I'm like this its part of me keep fighting, I want to have a way that is the worst I can leave in peace, that even in my last days I will have to die suffering and in agony

So I want help to discover if there is something I could buy that there is no need to prescriptions, something easy to get that can be used for suicide, I can't leave my house, and I depend on my mother so trying suicide bag or something similar is impossible since I can't hide the tanks and another reason I want help its because in the last ten years I took a different kind of meds for my problems some extremely strong but I barely feel actual effect aside of some side effects, and I don't know if such resistance could play a significant role, and I don't dare to play around with things like this.

Thanks in advance for those that try to help

p.s. Please take a look at : suicide discussion / resource compilation