Help assuage my fears of SN method

[Source Energy]

So my SN is on the way and I will be ordering the rest. I'm spending time reading old SN cbt threads and crying my soul out. I'm mourning for those who ctb-ed, for my wasted life, for the pain going unnoticed by everyone of import to me.

I need to get over a big problem: the fear. Of suffocation. Will I really feel like suffocating? Of tachycardia. Will my heart explode? Of diarrhea. I am a very clean person and dread being found in a lake of poop. I die just thinking about it.

Can you help me get over these fears? Any way to mitigate the possibility of such terrible side effects? I must do this, I see no other way, but it feels like standing on top of a cliff looking down when the SI kicks in.

 

[littlelady774]

It's not really suffocating, it is more like hyperventilating. Breathing is fast and shallow or deep. There will be a leftward shift on the oxygen dissociation curve, and the body's ability to detect changes in the blood and tissue imbalance of O2 and CO2 as hypoxia progresses -shortness of breath occurs.
I did a thread on physical symptoms and biochemistry of SN and methemoglobinemia:

The Biochemistry of Methemoglobinemia and SN ingestion

I've written a small essay of what that happens in our body when we ingest sodium nitrite. I will do my best to describe the pathology and biochemistry of methemoglobinemia and nitrite poisoning. This is from my own research and I will post the sources from scientific articles and journals...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[jodes2]

Your heart won't explode, it'll just feel a bit uncomfortable. And the shortness of breath shouldn't be as if you're suffocating. I don't think you'll deficate

 

[Dolphin55]

So sorry you're feeling this way. Dying is terrifying, it doesn't matter if you chose it, it's still terrifying.

I would guess to mitigate diarrhoea you could fast for longer or maybe take a laxative to clean yourself out. It's much more likely you'll vomit than have diarrhoea, though. Your heart won't explode but the crazy fast heartbeat will feel freaky. Suffocation also worries me with the SN method, but people do say it shouldn't feel like you're suffocating. I guess with the fast breathing and heart rate it'll feel a bit like after you've just run really fast and you're out of breath, breathing heavy with your heart racing

 

[Source Energy]

I hope so.

Yes I will fast for 2 days. But when I had covid, upset stomach was the worst symptom, even drinking water would send me running to the bathroom. I hope the SN experience will be nothing like that, coz it was awful, and imagine dealing with that when you are trying to ctb and your strength is diminishing...this is my worst fear

Will Propranolol - maybe taking extra - help slowing my heartbeat?
Will the heartbeat continue until I die, or will it slow down after a while?

 

[Forever Sleep]

The side effects frighten me too. Especially the shortness of breath and tachycardia. I think the Propranolol is supposed to help with the heartbeat- if you can get it.

I've just tried to get a few things I think MIGHT help. I bought a small cannister of oxygen and nose cannular off Amazon- which I'm hoping might help with the shortness of breath. I have some thick plastic to lay on and I might even wear a nappy, or, lots of pants- just in case. A couple of hot water bottles- for abdominal pain. They always comfort me. Plus- a bucket- obviously in case of sickness. I might even wear gloves- because I don't fancy seeing my fingers turn blue. Mouthwash to try and mask the taste and maybe a straw.

Plus, a big note to put on the door to warn people of how odd I'm likely to look.

 

[Source Energy]

Can of oxygen - won't it mess up with the sn's work?

The warning note is thoughtful, but any dead by suicide is expected to look weird. I wonder if only the fingers turn blue, or face also?

Taking extra propranolol would it slow the heartbeats?
How do fast heartbeats go with losing consciousness? If blood pressure goes down, heartbeats are supposed to slow? If i lose consciousness first, will tachychardia and shortness of breath wake me up?