Help HELP ASAP

[allym101]

I'm so so so fucking scared. All of my hard work and planning would've been for NOTHING if I'm caught now. My parents look at my debit card charges frequently cause I can make some very odd purchases and I spend my money too much. Anyways, they noticed the charges for the hardware stores and now they're on mu case, I'm terrified. If I'm caught now I'm so fucking dead. I'm terrified, I can't let this get out of hand though so I may have to attempt earlier than I thought....

 

[Lostandfound7]

OK calm down honey..Have they asked u anything yet? Like what the items r for?

 

[allym101]

OK calm down honey..Have they asked u anything yet? Like what the items r for?

Sorry sorry I'm just so stressed. No, they noticed the huge payments. I said one of them was for my dad for fathers day and that I'm not spoiling it and I said I can't remember spending money at the other place, so far they haven't asked for a room search or anything so I think I'm good but I'm gonna have to do it this weekend.

 

[GerMann]

Why can your parents look into your data? What are you frighten on, did you buy a weapon/drugs? Otherwise declare the last weeks as a psychosic-phase because of disstress.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I question as well how your parents can look into your data. This may not be a good time to ask, I know you're stressed. And I think this may have been answered in one of your other threads, or maybe that was a different member. It seems they are way too much into your personal business, maybe because of prior attempts? Still, you're an adult, and it may be a fight, but perhaps it's time to start asserting your autonomy and telling them to back the fuck off. If that means getting kicked out and having nowhere to go, I get that it can present great challenges. But shit, you're being challenged to end your life before you're ready! Even if you want to, you're still doing it on their terms. They have way too much power and control.

Sending empathy. I know this stuff is complicated and really difficult. I'm not trying to make you defensive or even more stressed, I'm genuinely on your side.

 

[Living sucks]

Just for others, if the parents are providing the money to the account for certain expenses, that gives them some right to check.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Just for others, if the parents are providing the money to the account for certain expenses, that gives them some right to check.

I read that and thought, it sounds like a deal with the devil more than an inherent right.

They also ask to search the OP's room. To me, both instances are about control.

 

[Lostandfound7]

Sorry sorry I'm just so stressed. No, they noticed the huge payments. I said one of them was for my dad for fathers day and that I'm not spoiling it and I said I can't remember spending money at the other place, so far they haven't asked for a room search or anything so I think I'm good but I'm gonna have to do it this weekend.

No apology necessary!

Oh no! I'm so sorry..but they're not pressuring u for answers, right?

 

[allym101]

Why can your parents look into your data? What are you frighten on, did you buy a weapon/drugs? Otherwise declare the last weeks as a psychosic-phase because of disstress.

No, I bought a large amount of household chemicals.

I question as well how your parents can look into your data. This may not be a good time to ask, I know you're stressed. And I think this may have been answered in one of your other threads, or maybe that was a different member. It seems they are way too much into your personal business, maybe because of prior attempts? Still, you're an adult, and it may be a fight, but perhaps it's time to start asserting your autonomy and telling them to back the fuck off. If that means getting kicked out and having nowhere to go, I get that it can present great challenges. But shit, you're being challenged to end your life before you're ready! Even if you want to, you're still doing it on their terms. They have way too much power and control.

Sending empathy. I know this stuff is complicated and really difficult. I'm not trying to make you defensive or even more stressed, I'm genuinely on your side.

Maybe so, but there's nothing I can do to fight back at the moment. They hold too much power over me right now.... I just need some flimsy excuse to get them off my case for three days MAX!! It's a shame but I have decided to CTB this weekend, it was my plan originally but I backed it off just to make sure I wasn't missing any details. If I end up in a psych ward again... I'll lose it for real.

 

[allym101]

No apology necessary!

Oh no! I'm so sorry..but they're not pressuring u for answers, right?

With one of the purchases I was able to play it off as a fathers day gift but the other purchase I said I don't remember making and they're really on my case about it..

 

[Taraxias]

What did you buy exactly and how dangerous is it?

 

[Lostandfound7]

With one of the purchases I was able to play it off as a fathers day gift but the other purchase I said I don't remember making and they're really on my case about it..

OK what was the other purchase? If u don't wanna disclose, that's ok.

 

[allym101]

What did you buy exactly and how dangerous is it?

I bought muriatic acid and four bottles of lime sulfur, separated they're completely fine but together they look VERY sus. So far no more questions have been asked but my Dad is calling the stores to see what I purchased that day. Im so scared god I cant end up in the ward AGAIN

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

Try to keep bottles away, and try to explain that youre maybe going on a cleaning spree, with muriatic acid atleast, if asked. Im not sure what else to say.

Me and husband always had muriatic acid stocked in house, its easily bought and common here. He used it to casualy clean bathrooms and dog area. Maybe it could pass as sn excuse for fathers day gift, mass disinfection.

Im sorry, thats what i would try to explain at least as thats what we did.
Cleans real good tho but use some safety equipment

 

[allym101]

Try to keep bottles away, and try to explain that youre maybe going on a cleaning spree, with muriatic acid atleast, if asked. Im not sure what else to say.

Me and husband always had muriatic acid stocked in house, its easily bought and common here. He used it to casualy clean bathrooms and dog area. Maybe it could pass as sn excuse for fathers day gift, mass disinfection.

Im sorry, thats what i would try to explain at least as thats what we did.
Cleans real good tho but use some safety equipment

Thank you, that was incredibly helpful

 

[Nohopeinhell]

You're an adult right? Why do they hold power over you? In what way? Im just curious as to why they are checking out your purchases you spend from your own money?

I mean its your money, so why are they so bothered what you purchase from your money?

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I'm sorry this is happening to you. I don't really have any other advice to add.

 

[allym101]

You're an adult right? Why do they hold power over you? In what way? Im just curious as to why they are checking out your purchases you spend from your own money?

I mean its your money, so why are they so bothered what you purchase from your money?

Past attempts, they get worried and nosy and when I said no my dad said he'd deem me as a threat to society so I'd have to stay in a ward longer.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Try to keep bottles away, and try to explain that youre maybe going on a cleaning spree, with muriatic acid atleast, if asked. Im not sure what else to say.

Me and husband always had muriatic acid stocked in house, its easily bought and common here. He used it to casualy clean bathrooms and dog area. Maybe it could pass as sn excuse for fathers day gift, mass disinfection.

Im sorry, thats what i would try to explain at least as thats what we did.
Cleans real good tho but use some safety equipment

I need to ctb while i still have privacy and live alone. Only problem is neighbors . I live in an apartment like dwelling with people all around. there are neighbors on the other side of a thin wall. so they hear everything and for example i can't do a co experiment cause it might injure them etc. and i'll get arrested. ,and i'm in a city with people everywhere. i have all kinds of ctb supplies , equipment etc but can't do tests. i believe that nothing should be trusted until it's thoroughly tested. so frustrating. I wish i could live in a country or farm house where no one is around for miles. then i could do all my experiments with co, h2s etc. and other methods. i can't do any experiments here in this small apartment

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

@peacefullpainless
Thats case with me too. I am living alone now, in city, but thats not permanent and it will be harder when that happens.

Sn could be safely done in apartment if theres no private visitors for a longer time, and its not obvious, loud or toxic for others. Not too much tho.
Thats what im trying to get courage for atleast , as theres still neighbours really close and pets.
Wish you luck

 

[Emily123]

Honey . Don't rush it . you still have too much time to see what's best for you based on the context , you are very young . you don't know how future can be different for you .