Venting hello

[devil]

so haven't posted in awhile.

ever since i received my SN in the mail, I've been having a lot of different thoughts about it.
just knowing i have a way out sitting in my room is reassuring, but also makes me feel nervous.
it's so real now, i didn't think i would ever make it to this point.. the point where i actually feel
secure about my method working. so yeah there's a lot of mixed emotions.

i don't want to rush it now that i finally have my method ready, but i'm also so fucking ready to leave
this shitty world.

 

[Walilamdzi]

I'm glad you feel reassured and maybe the reassurance of knowing you have the option will allow you to try something else before you make any decisions. I hope that things get better for you and you don't have to leave but I wouldn't be here unless I understood the urge to leave this plane of existence.

 

[Klee]

I think the reassurance of knowing you have access to a pretty certain method can actually improve your outlook, it does for me certainly. I'm much more willing to give things that extra try, just knowing I have a backup plan. I hope things improve for you!

 

[BeeLoyal]

so haven't posted in awhile.

ever since i received my SN in the mail, I've been having a lot of different thoughts about it.
just knowing i have a way out sitting in my room is reassuring, but also makes me feel nervous.
it's so real now, i didn't think i would ever make it to this point.. the point where i actually feel
secure about my method working. so yeah there's a lot of mixed emotions.

i don't want to rush it now that i finally have my method ready, but i'm also so fucking ready to leave
this shitty world.

I feel you, similar situation here. I have gotten my Meto yesterday, SN coming tomorrow or latest on the 12.04. (And today I got an email from eBay saying they shut this vendor down, but my package is coming anyways.) Since this was the only vendor I could find online shipping it to Germany, I got pretty lucky. Now coming so far, I am also not sooo sure, but at the same time I can't deal with this any more.
I'll see, I wish you the best of luck and hope for the future.