lifecouldbedream
Student
- Oct 8, 2021
- 144
I've made so many posts with the title "I'm going to end my life tonight" that I'd rather just not this time. However, that is my intention today. My previously chosen method was partial hanging, and I think my problem is that I needed a method that is more "passive." As in, something that I can just sit back and let happen. Partial hanging was not only too difficult to get done right but when I did get it to almost work I would back out from fear.
I didn't have a car or an income back then, but thats changed. What I'm going to do this time is drive to a secluded area (haven't worked out where yet, any suggestions on places to go are welcome bc I'm not sure the logistics of getting my car into a forest), light some charcoal (I've chosen 2.5+kg), take some DXM (not old enough for alcohol so this is my best sedative/anesthetic available) and allergy medicine and go to sleep after putting the red hot coals in the car. The coals will be in a chimney starter and I'll try to seal the vents in the car with duct tape or plastic. If there are any problems here please let me know if you are familiar with the logistics of this method.
Maybe I won't do it though. I have days where I feel like I can chase my dreams and never give up and days like this where I'm so hopeless that I genuinely can't see any other way out than suicide. The ratio of these days is roughly 50:50. Maybe tomorrow I'll wake up and keep going. I don't know. For now, I just want to talk to someone.
Please reach out.
I didn't have a car or an income back then, but thats changed. What I'm going to do this time is drive to a secluded area (haven't worked out where yet, any suggestions on places to go are welcome bc I'm not sure the logistics of getting my car into a forest), light some charcoal (I've chosen 2.5+kg), take some DXM (not old enough for alcohol so this is my best sedative/anesthetic available) and allergy medicine and go to sleep after putting the red hot coals in the car. The coals will be in a chimney starter and I'll try to seal the vents in the car with duct tape or plastic. If there are any problems here please let me know if you are familiar with the logistics of this method.
Maybe I won't do it though. I have days where I feel like I can chase my dreams and never give up and days like this where I'm so hopeless that I genuinely can't see any other way out than suicide. The ratio of these days is roughly 50:50. Maybe tomorrow I'll wake up and keep going. I don't know. For now, I just want to talk to someone.
Please reach out.
