Hello world, my story

[desperatemen83]

Hello everyone,

I am hopping I am not borring anyone, but I would like to share my story. First of all, we are all here for similar or same reason and I wish if all people from this site could find some better path and reason or reasons to live within themselves, but I lived on this planet long enough and I know it's not always a easy task...
I am male born (also I live as a male) female and I think that is a main reason for my depression, panic attacks and anxiety in general. It is imposible for me to transition, because I look a lot like straight male and that would be pretty funny and also because of my anxiety (my panic would blow out of roof).

But it is not all that black. I have a partner, very kind person, who loves me very much and do not have any other family left. To cut this short I already tried to die with TCA - s, a long time ago, but I was found. If I decide to go I will do it again with TCA-s, but I am often affraid about relability of those, because I do not know exactly I would certainly died if I had not been found. According to my family I did went to cardiac arrest but I am not completlly sure in their version of the story. I know most TCA- s are calcium chanel blokers and death is usally caused by verticular arythmias or by respitatory depression. I was also thinking about SN but I am not certain about purity and hypoxia does not seem like easy way to go. Also severe hypoxia resulting in cyanosis can have necrosis alike complications, which do not develop easily
..I saw some of the members think some of the methods do not have complications, but that is not true. Birth and death are both process and according to my medical knowledge body is a system so person needs to be carrefull. My bigest fear is leaving my boyfriend behind
I fell guilty and I worry about him a lot, than after some time I worry again about myself​

 

[faust]

Hello, I am sorry you are desperately looking for the way out.
Frankly speaking, I have never heard of any cases of necrosis using SN before. This is a very rare occasion, there were cases of necrotic abscesses following injections of methylene blue, but not SN itself. SN causes cyanosis.
If you send us some links about methemoglobinemia-caused necrosis, we would be really grateful

 

[desperatemen83]

Hello, I am sorry you are desperately looking for the way out.
Frankly speaking, I have never heard of any cases of necrosis using SN before. This is a very rare occasion, there were cases of necrotic abscesses following injections of methylene blue, but not SN itself. SN causes cyanosis.
If you send us some links about methemoglobinemia-caused necrosis, we would be really grateful

I was talking about hypoxia complications like cyanosis and in some rare occurences necrosis as a result of long-term hypoxia of the tissue...Because we never know how someone will react to poison, one will go easily and other may develop major organ ischemia... I will attach medical refference to hypoxia complications, I know I read it a while ago, n

ot hypoxia induced from sn. Sorry for my confusing typing, misspeling or bad grammar, I am typing from my stupid pho e which change and move text on its own...

 

[faust]

I was talking about hypoxia complications like cyanosis and in some rare occurences necrosis as a result of long-term hypoxia of the tissue...Because we never know how someone will react to poison, one will go easily and other may develop major organ ischemia... I will attach medical refference to hypoxia complications, I know I read it a while ago, n

ot hypoxia induced from sn. Sorry for my confusing typing, misspeling or bad grammar, I am typing from my stupid pho e which change and move text on its own...

That's grand, just wanted to know a bit more about any possible consequences and get some more info on the subject.