Help Hello plz help need to talk.

[lostless]

Hello peoples. I am a guy (24) from India. I had some mental issues from since when I was 17. It started as OCD. I now have ocd, depressions and I think maybe adhd. I have no aspirations or goals in life. The way the society works is just not feasible for me. I don't wanna get into relationships or have kids.
It was all still going on until my mom dies few months ago. She was the only one who maybe understood me and loved me for who I am. I have been suicidal since then. Not only do I miss her, I also feel immense guilt as I couldn't do much for her or save her when she would do everything for me.
I just dont wanna continue anymore. My dad I think cares for me and would not understand my mental problems. I am just stuck between thinking whether to ctb or..
Even if I live m only gonna bring more disappointment as I will continue being depressed, not marry or get kids, or even do proper working jobs.
And finally even if I do want to ctb, I donno which way to choose. No guns or anything like that here that I know of. Even when I want to end it I don't wanna pussy out or feel pain. Talk any. Thanks for time.

 

[domedune]

Hello. Very sorry about your situation and your mother. A gun is not the only way you can ctb. There are other methods here if you search for them (feel free to PM me if you want leads as the search function sucks).

I think it's ok that you don't want to have children or marry. There are other ways to live a fine life. If I do end up surviving college, I just want to do good things and be as happy as possible. But I also understand feeling like you don't have much to live for and giving up. If I can't find enough enjoyment in what I'm studying, I'll ctb relatively soon.

I hope you find some way to manage and good luck with whatever you do <3

 

[Pluto]

Sorry to hear you are going through something so difficult and seemingly hopeless.

One thing I would do if I were in India is visiting Tiruvannamalai and seeking guidance from devotees of the great Ramana Maharshi. He spontaneously attained ego death as a teenager and spent the rest of his life helping others do the same. I have tried to follow his teachings for some time. Not so easy to find that sort of guidance here in Australia, especially now that it's illegal to leave the house. I might have to make do with body death.

Message me if I can help further.

 

[lostless]

Hello. Very sorry about your situation and your mother. A gun is not the only way you can ctb. There are other methods here if you search for them (feel free to PM me if you want leads as the search function sucks).

I think it's ok that you don't want to have children or marry. There are other ways to live a fine life. If I do end up surviving college, I just want to do good things and be as happy as possible. But I also understand feeling like you don't have much to live for and giving up. If I can't find enough enjoyment in what I'm studying, I'll ctb relatively soon.

I hope you find some way to manage and good luck with whatever you do <3

Oh yes thankyou for ur words. I would love to talk in pm but I think I may not have permission for it yet. I just made the account yesterday. Thanks you though

 

[pure soul]

Hello peoples. I am a guy (24) from India. I had some mental issues from since when I was 17. It started as OCD. I now have ocd, depressions and I think maybe adhd. I have no aspirations or goals in life. The way the society works is just not feasible for me. I don't wanna get into relationships or have kids.
It was all still going on until my mom dies few months ago. She was the only one who maybe understood me and loved me for who I am. I have been suicidal since then. Not only do I miss her, I also feel immense guilt as I couldn't do much for her or save her when she would do everything for me.
I just dont wanna continue anymore. My dad I think cares for me and would not understand my mental problems. I am just stuck between thinking whether to ctb or..
Even if I live m only gonna bring more disappointment as I will continue being depressed, not marry or get kids, or even do proper working jobs.
And finally even if I do want to ctb, I donno which way to choose. No guns or anything like that here that I know of. Even when I want to end it I don't wanna pussy out or feel pain. Talk any. Thanks for time.

Hello I m also from India and I have same problem also. We are carbon copy. In Nov my mother had left me due to covid from this world. She is the only reason for me to live. We were two bodies and one soul. She loves me as nobody can love anybody.plsss pm me
I think we can understand better each other than anyone and I can help you better than anybody by every way

 

[siray]

Bohot ziada udaasi hai mere dil main, poori zindagi ek pal ka sukoon bhi naseeb nahin hua, khushi toh dooor ki baat hai.

Meri maa kamzor dil hai, pataa nahin woh kaise bardaasht karain gee meri maut ka gham.

I wish you both my dear indian comrades peace for your soul.

 

[pure soul]

Bohot ziada udaasi hai mere dil main, poori zindagi ek pal ka sukoon bhi naseeb nahin hua, khushi toh dooor ki baat hai.

Meri maa kamzor dil hai, pataa nahin woh kaise bardaasht karain gee meri maut ka gham.

I wish you both my dear indian comrades peace for your soul.

Aap kha se ho dude. Aap plss ctb mat karna kyonki Mai Nahi Chahta ki duniya me Kisi BHI MAA Ka Dil dil dukhe

 

[siray]

Aap kha se ho dude. Aap plss ctb mat karna kyonki Mai Nahi Chahta ki duniya me Kisi BHI MAA Ka Dil dil dukhe

Main bhi India se hoon, majboori hai yaar depression ka koi solution hee nahin, maa ka dil toh main bhi kabhi na dukhne doon lekin meri zindagi bohot baraa azaab bann chuki hai.
I am so sorry you lost your mother, may she bless you from heaven.

 

[pure soul]

Pm me

 

[lostless]

Main bhi India se hoon, majboori hai yaar depression ka koi solution hee nahin, maa ka dil toh main bhi kabhi na dukhne doon lekin meri zindagi bohot baraa azaab bann chuki hai.
I am so sorry you lost your mother, may she bless you from heaven.

Yes friend, I understand there's no solution as well even the people who do care about us would never be able to understand. We are such an anamoly to biological evolution. M sorry for you and others. Good luck

Pm me

Yes frnd i would love to pm you and others here but I think I need certain permissions as my account is new. I will as soon as I can. Love..

 

[siray]

Yes friend, I understand there's no solution as well even the people who do care about us would never be able to understand. We are such an anamoly to biological evolution. M sorry for you and others. Good luck

You're right my man, us suicidal folk are a walking paradox. In my case it's physiological deformity that's the reason I was always depressed, I have tried every possible palliative for my misery and nothing even so much as alleviated my wretched condition.

The only way I see myself surviving this nightmare is to live away from my family, far up in a cold climate region maybe Kashmir. But my family isn't allowing me to go, I've even ran away a few months ago, only to be scolded on the phone while I was in the train, and my mother and sister cried hysterically, I can never forget the extreme sadness I felt at that time.

I believe my death will be easier on my family compared to if I move to kashmir and live alone, do a small job at a hotel/ restaurant. CTB in my case is 100% justified.

 

[BeefNBrandy]

Not so easy to find that sort of guidance here in Australia, especially now that it's illegal to leave the house.

Offtopic, but WTF?! Governments around the world are starting to get crazy with their rapidly increasing surveillance of everything and restriction of every single freedom!

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are suffering, existing really can be tiring. I understand that it can be hard to be trapped in a hopeless situation. I wish you well.

 

[NoPointToContinue]

I might have to make do with body death.

Do you think it will be the same with ego death Ramana was talking about? I'm also interested in these topics and the general answer I get to suicide is that it will be repeated again and again until I become fully realized being and suicide does not solve this problem.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

The way the society works is just not feasible for me.

First, sorry you're in pain and have gotten to this point. But I think a lot of us feel the way you do above.

It was all still going on until my mom dies few months ago. She was the only one who maybe understood me and loved me for who I am. I have been suicidal since then. Not only do I miss her, I also feel immense guilt as I couldn't do much for her or save her when she would do everything for me.

I lost a mom, too. It's eviscerating watching your only support network leave. Years later, I'm still a mess. I empathize with you. Wish I had a solution for this pain. For me, the closest I ever got to feeling a bit better was being around/talking to other people who were struggling with similar pain of loss. Do you have anyone besides your dad you can talk to openly? If you want to talk, I'll listen.

the general answer I get to suicide is that it will be repeated again and again until I become fully realized being and suicide does not solve this problem.

Terrifying thought. Born to suffer in life, no exit in death. Makes reproduction all the more ghastly a prospect. :(