The idea of hell used to scare me too. Being told as a kid that doing bad things made me persecute myself on everything. Ate food? Well kids are starving over the world. Took a bath? Well people don't have water to drink. Feeling happy? Well that's selfish and on and on.
I completely understand your fear, I am not particularly religious, but I still find myself feeling like I deserve to be in hell. I don't know if he'll is real or not, but I don't think suicidal people deserve to go to hell. If pain is what causes people to ctb, subjecting them to eternal torture is just cruel.