Heeeerrlp

[Dk205]

I don't know what to do.
I'm not mentally ill but I went psychotic and lost my life and the path I was on. Sure I can still go to school, but the perfect time for that is gone. I've lost all of my friends. Family.
Career just as it took off.
I had one of those "the world needs to see this" and instead of excepting fate and destiny I ran the other way.
I enrolled at SAE but I'm flat broke and homeless. I just need stability and my own room and shit.
And a place to be inspired, but my heart hurts. I want to make amends. I believe God can do that, but I need him now more than ever. I need spiritual freedom again.
I need money. I need to inspire people again.
My heart just hurts because I damaged everything and every relationship.
I don't want to die.
But I want my life back. Community. Etc.
it's embarrassing. Instead of being a prodigy I'm a tragedy and I'll be 27 this month. Too old.

 

[Stan]

I'm not sure I am in the best frame of mind to help but I will throw my hat in.

You are looking at this as one big problem - its scary, has big teeth, scaly skin and stinks of putrid flesh.

What you have is a bunch of problems and you need to tackle each one separately as it may have a solution that's easy, may mean you eat humble pie / lower your standards for a while or deal with a difficult solution.

27 years old! I have seen people completely retrain and do a different vocation altogether at 50 years old so that's a barrier you have set for yourself so you can remove that. Just because someone in your life tells you are something, does not make that true and 'being too old' is a common one.

If you are truly homeless and are living on the streets then there are organisations that can help. If you are enrolled in SAE then that means you are a Londoner if I got that right? try these guys https://sfts.org.uk/ Its better than the streets and they give you 2 square meals a day as well as a bunk bed for free. They also give practical advice on your situation if you want including help finding work. There are so many jobs you can do on a shift work than you can manage your studies and bring in money.

Finding God is your own journey. If you were raised in a particular religion, maybe speak to a priest from that denomination for guidance.

This journey is yours and yours alone, you have to give yourself the strength to take the first step, then the second and all the ones after that. I feel if you tackle one thing at a time you will be in a better position to succeed. Feel free to pm me if you want.

 

[RedAlert]

I'm sorry to hear that your in pain and not only experiencing homelessness but also suffering the loss of friends, family and career which sounds quite devastating.

I don't blame you for thinking about suicide and seeing it as an exit out of this mess. Any creature under such stressful circumstances would think about these things.

Keep that chin up, check your kit and prepare for battle, spiritually and mentally. For i have been homeless before...2 times. I have seen the different pathways out of homelessnes; one is the self enslavement of the soul and body through drugs, alcohol and crime as a means of escape...the other is the humiliating, boring and slow crawl towards finding a job and eventually a decent* shelter, your own space.

1. Information.
Take note of your surroundings, avoid toxic commuties and the homeless. Do not befriend toxic homeless or people coming out of jail. Find out what services you can take advantage of; food banks, shelters, libraries, job agencies, safe places to sleep outside just in case the shelter is full.

2. Routine.
Idleness can drive man crazy, and can drive man's love for God out. When you wake up every morning you must pray to God, I'm not saying you must fall on your knees and beg like a helpless cry baby. Talk to him as you talk to your loving father. Focus on his music which is silence and listen, listen to what he has to say to you...he will not abandon you. Tell him your plans for the day and future asperations.

Try finding a job immediately, talk to councillora, job agencies and even seek guidance from spiritual directors. Search every crevice for any support programs that can help you do not stop.

Go to different food banks or free coffees at local church's and keep that fuel going.
Maintain daily prayer and thanksgiving with every step you take and every meal you devour. Find a book from the library and read, get your imagination going, keep your mind off your current status in society.

3. Home
Once you have accumulated enough funds or have been accepted into government programs like welfare find a home. 1 bedroom in a healthy family oriented home. Do not be content with Crack houses, those people are violent and will tempt you to join them on the path to destruction or face alienation and humiliation by their poor hand. Pray for them and decline the offer

Go to church whenever you can, go to confession daily and observe silence and contimplation. Prayer is contimplation. Tell him that you are a sinner and you wish to open your heart to him. Love drives out fear, love your fellow man with all your mind and strength. Always forgive others and do not look down on them...and most importantly always take it easy with yourself,have mercy on yourself.

4. When you have a secure job and a place to call your own even if it's a small room, contact your family and friends and apologize for the wrongs you have done. Be honest and take in on the chin. Trust me, I was also a fool who fucked around with family and am lucky to have themback I n my life.

It is getting late, I must rest. Hopefully this will help you.

 

[GeorgeJL]

I need spiritual freedom again.

Take some psychedelics.

 

[Dk205]

I'm not sure I am in the best frame of mind to help but I will throw my hat in.

You are looking at this as one big problem - its scary, has big teeth, scaly skin and stinks of putrid flesh.

What you have is a bunch of problems and you need to tackle each one separately as it may have a solution that's easy, may mean you eat humble pie / lower your standards for a while or deal with a difficult solution.

27 years old! I have seen people completely retrain and do a different vocation altogether at 50 years old so that's a barrier you have set for yourself so you can remove that. Just because someone in your life tells you are something, does not make that true and 'being too old' is a common one.

If you are truly homeless and are living on the streets then there are organisations that can help. If you are enrolled in SAE then that means you are a Londoner if I got that right? try these guys https://sfts.org.uk/ Its better than the streets and they give you 2 square meals a day as well as a bunk bed for free. They also give practical advice on your situation if you want including help finding work. There are so many jobs you can do on a shift work than you can manage your studies and bring in money.

Finding God is your own journey. If you were raised in a particular religion, maybe speak to a priest from that denomination for guidance.

This journey is yours and yours alone, you have to give yourself the strength to take the first step, then the second and all the ones after that. I feel if you tackle one thing at a time you will be in a better position to succeed. Feel free to pm me if you want.

I'm in Nashville!
And

I'm in Nashville!

thank you