Spartacus00

Spartacus00

Member
May 3, 2019
28
Right I'm split up with my partner an I can't it much more just the thought of never seeing her again is killing me an someone else touching her an I know pain in death would be easier than live a life without her so I just ordered 100g of sodium nitrite an going be making some pills with them 12g should be enough to end it all.
 
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P

Papaya569

Member
Apr 15, 2019
13
Same.This pain is unbearable.Jumping off a building
 
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iwannaendme

iwannaendme

Member
May 3, 2019
70
Im so sorry for that. I can feel your pain and I hope youll find your peace & i am wishing u all the best. Sending u virtual hugs.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
I'm sorry you're in such pain, Spartacus00 and Juankyrium. Wishing you well
 
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Only Me Here

Only Me Here

...
Apr 29, 2019
263
Do you want to talk about it? Heart break is the worst feeling.
 
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B

Broken

Paragon
Dec 7, 2018
930
Right I'm split up with my partner an I can't it much more just the thought of never seeing her again is killing me an someone else touching her an I know pain in death would be easier than live a life without her so I just ordered 100g of sodium nitrite an going be making some pills with them 12g should be enough to end it all.
Same.This pain is unbearable.Jumping off a building
It's the worst feeling in the world. I've felt like it for 10 months and it hasnt got much easier.
 
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M

mrnadim

Member
May 3, 2019
36
Whatever is your problem for breaking up it can be reversed at least try before u go for your final destination , i was there before i feel u , and i remeber that stomic pain , but take my advice at least try to get her back try ur final bullet , u can get help from youtube ( thelovechat or brad browning ) these video helped me to win back . Give it a try!
 
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any%

any%

Student
May 2, 2019
168
I am sorry for the situation you find yourselves in. Being heartbroken is really hurtful. Although it sounds like you do this hastily because of your current feelings about the breakup, so maybe really get in touch with yourself if YOU want to die or if you just want to die because of the breakup - that would be a waste. Anyway, make sure to rather take 25 grams of NaNO2 in total, do not forget the meto (antiemetic) & acidregulator before you take the salt! Preferably you also have some chemical lullaby like lorazepam or other benzos. You are in my thoughts.
 
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G

Gavalar

Member
Apr 11, 2019
69
I know exactly how you feel.
2 months into a breakup now and I just want to end it all.
I'm sick of messing everything up.
 
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D

Done182

Student
Jan 30, 2019
169
I feel you, 10 months and still want to die
 
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iwannaendme

iwannaendme

Member
May 3, 2019
70
I feel you, 10 months and still want to die
im so fucking sorry that something like that happened to u. wish u strenght and that youll get through it as soon as possible. If u need to talk im here
 
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D

Done182

Student
Jan 30, 2019
169
im so fucking sorry that something like that happened to u. wish u strenght and that youll get through it as soon as possible. If u need to talk im here
Thank you that really means a lot, how would I talk to you?
 
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tiggles2000

tiggles2000

Student
Jan 15, 2019
113
It's the worst feeling in the world. I've felt like it for 10 months and it hasnt got much easier.
I've felt the same since September last year. I just haven't had the confidence to drink my SN yet
 
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J

Jolene40

Specialist
Oct 6, 2018
370
It really can get easier. It took me 2 years to get over an ex. For some, the pain is felt much more intensely. You can feel love like this again. Every break up teaches you something about yourself so that you improve on the next one. You must think this is impossible right now but it is very unlikely this feeling of heart ache will last forever.
Counselling is great in this situation if you have the money. Just talking it through over and over again helps alot.xx
 
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W

Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
I understand this feeling all too well. Its been 5 years and the pain still feels like it happened yesterday. Nothing has gotten any easier. I have tried and tried but I cant move on...I cant just replace a soulmate a unique individual who completed me. This is not the only reason Im here but on top of the trauma and abuse I experienced and health problems I have its become too much. I am sorry I have nothing helpful to say Im just sharing my story.
 
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R

Roberto

Wizard
Jan 19, 2019
684
My advice is : go to psychologist. ask something for the pain of the heart that is too much to cope normally.
Your hurt is deep, but it won't persist forever. After some months, depending on the friends you have, family and if you have a job to distract yourself it gets better.
It's hard, but it's not the end. At least at the moment.
Give yourself time with the doctors. If after 4 months you don't recover yourself, then I would understand.
It's hard and painful. Have a big hug with lot of good wishes.
 
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Taylor

Taylor

Thankful
Dec 23, 2018
476
I've been through plenty of heartbreaks, and know just how bad it hurts, but I can assure you, I got through it and I got over them. It seems impossible right now, because it's too recent yet. I can promise you that time is a wonderful medicine when it comes to healing a broken heart, and coming from the hell that I'm in currently, there are far worse things that are very much worth ending your life over, things that a broken heart can't even come close to. Ending your life over the loss of a significant other isn't worth it, I can promise you that. Especially not when we live on planet that is full of 6.7 billion other people, half of which are female. I know they may seem like your entire world to you now, but I promise, give it 6 months at least and they'll seem like just any other girl to you.
 
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Spartacus00

Spartacus00

Member
May 3, 2019
28
I told people that I doing this but they say you love again, but I know I won't ever find this again an I not settle for anyone else she has my heart an to even think about anyone else make me sick, but fingers crossed give it a week an my pain will be finally gone But I just know I don't want live without her I've tried my best to get her back but she not interested so once my SN come in I will be doing it, so if anyone knows the best way to take it if any other things I should know then please PM me as it's looking next week now I got 100g coming an can't wait to stop this pain finally
 
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B

Broken

Paragon
Dec 7, 2018
930
I've been through plenty of heartbreaks, and know just how bad it hurts, but I can assure you, I got through it and I got over them. It seems impossible right now, because it's too recent yet. I can promise you that time is a wonderful medicine when it comes to healing a broken heart, and coming from the hell that I'm in currently, there are far worse things that are very much worth ending your life over, things that a broken heart can't even come close to. Ending your life over the loss of a significant other isn't worth it, I can promise you that. Especially not when we live on planet that is full of 6.7 billion other people, half of which are female. I know they may seem like your entire world to you now, but I promise, give it 6 months at least and they'll seem like just any other girl to you.
I'm 10 months down the line and I feel no better. Pretty sure it's because I fucked up a good relationship (well at least at one point it had potential unlike all my others) and it really made my life better/ made me a better person(although not good enough) .it don't matter what I do. I can't make my life feel as good as it was. Evertime just feels second best. If I haven't moved on and got a life going after 10 months how will I ever get to a position where I'm moving forward to meet somone else.
 
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Taylor

Taylor

Thankful
Dec 23, 2018
476
I'm 10 months down the line and I feel no better. Pretty sure it's because I fucked up a good relationship (well at least at one point it had potential unlike all my others) and it really made my life better/ made me a better person(although not good enough) .it don't matter what I do. I can't make my life feel as good as it was. Evertime just feels second best. If I haven't moved on and got a life going after 10 months how will I ever get to a position where I'm moving forward to meet somone else.
I would say that part of you is still holding onto what was, and you're still afraid to let go completely and trust that there really could be someone better out there for you, who you were truly meant to be with. Someone who will make you look back and remember the last relationship and think, man, what did I see in them? As soon as you do that and regain your confidence, I can promise you that you can find that person without even looking.
 
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P

pole

Global Mod
Sep 18, 2018
1,385
The feeling of heartbreak is terrible man. Idk i can somewhat relate on a heartbreak over a person.

Much of my own heartbreaks been caused by myself. Having false hopes in things and people, and expectations led to my heartbreaks and me being down.
 
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Ruffian

Ruffian

Jumpin Jack Flash, it’s a gas gas gas
Jan 16, 2019
696
I still think of my first real boyfriend I was with from 13 to 21 (later years off and on, we got pretty volatile towards the end because I quit drugs and drinking and he wouldn't.) Then we hooked up later in life and it was wonderful. Then this asshole therapist, who I am still recovering from, intervened with our plans to live together. He never forgave me for it, and we eventually broke up again. I can still cry at the drop of a hat when I think about him, sometimes I dream (as in sleep) we're still together and it's awful for a few minutes when I wake up. It's been almost 20 years since that second breakup. Your regrets in life shouldn't be from a therapist making a decision for you. However, now I'm with the second love of my life, and I didn't find him until I was 43. Can you believe I had gone back to the same therapist (she had me brainwashed) and she tried to intervene and say it wasn't the right time. What an asshole, I didn't listen this time. I guess what I'm saying is, it's possible to go on, even if you never 100% let go. The heart is a funny thing, there's room for a lot of love in there. I'm so sorry you're going through this, it sounds like you never expected this. I can't imagine losing the person I'm with now, I would lose all of my SI, because I simply couldn't go on. I'm older though, ugh. I wish I had something better to say, time is the only thing that will truly make it better. A good therapist would help to talk to. I kind of teared up at your post, my heart really goes out to you.
 
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Letmego. Please

Letmego. Please

Wizard
Nov 18, 2018
619
When my now ex husband declared he no longer loved me i did die inside, well a part of me anyway as we define ourselves by the relationships we have with others. The he then flew off to america a couple of week later to shag his new best friend, every day that passed was hell, i didn't know it at the time but i'd just found out what jealously felt like & it was fucking horrible, the idea of him having sex with someone else was too much & it broke me (though him sending me flowers every week he was there was a mind fuck & a half)
Long story short he came back a few times & the marriage died a long death ofter another 2 yrs, i tried to kill myself, couldn't live without him, didn't want too, plus knowing he was with someone else. A shrink tried to tell me it was a kind a bereavement but in a way worse as the person was still around, i still don't know if thats right but some of it makes sense.

There are many things in this world worth dying for, but a piece of shit ex who has robbed you of your future together is not one of them, i know it is not easy & like grief it takes different people different amounts of time to recover, be that 2 wks, 2 yrs or anything in-between so please at this difficult time in your life be kind to yourself, give yourself time to morn the loss cause that is what it is, but please do not kill yourself for some worthless tosser who thinks nothing of tearing up the life you have lived.

And if you want to talk to a divorced old bugger who got over him then feel free to Pm me.
 
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Spartacus00

Spartacus00

Member
May 3, 2019
28
I still think of my first real boyfriend I was with from 13 to 21 (later years off and on, we got pretty volatile towards the end because I quit drugs and drinking and he wouldn't.) Then we hooked up later in life and it was wonderful. Then this asshole therapist, who I am still recovering from, intervened with our plans to live together. He never forgave me for it, and we eventually broke up again. I can still cry at the drop of a hat when I think about him, sometimes I dream (as in sleep) we're still together and it's awful for a few minutes when I wake up. It's been almost 20 years since that second breakup. Your regrets in life shouldn't be from a therapist making a decision for you. However, now I'm with the second love of my life, and I didn't find him until I was 43. Can you believe I had gone back to the same therapist (she had me brainwashed) and she tried to intervene and say it wasn't the right time. What an asshole, I didn't listen this time. I guess what I'm saying is, it's possible to go on, even if you never 100% let go. The heart is a funny thing, there's room for a lot of love in there. I'm so sorry you're going through this, it sounds like you never expected this. I can't imagine losing the person I'm with now, I would lose all of my SI, because I simply couldn't go on. I'm older though, ugh. I wish I had something better to say, time is the only thing that will truly make it better. A good therapist would help to talk to. I kind of teared up at your post, my heart really goes out to you.

Question for you the boy/guy you loved first has anyone ever come close to having that same love? I loved before but not like this she was my everything not just my partner but my best friend my torch when I was in the dark she made me the best I could be an to lose that is more heartbreaking than ever, an I don't see me ever moving on I feel it unfair on the next person cos I know she never have my true love an that is unfair to have memories together but me wishing it was my poppet, I can't do that to someone because if they fall for me like I did then I would shatter her an that I can't do, I can't put anyone through what I am going through now, an for what so I can try move on, I don't get in a relationship if I don't see a ever lasting future an now I don't see that with anyone I know in my heart she was my one true love an no time or person will change that I'm heartbroken to the highest level of pain an the only escape I see is in death
 
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S

Smalldangles

Member
Apr 16, 2019
21
I feel this so deeply. My boyfriend of 11 years (since we were 14!) broke up with me just over a month ago and the pain is unbearable. Especially painful when they leave for someone else. This is my reason for ctb :(
 
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tomz323

tomz323

Walking to the bus stop
Mar 29, 2019
367
It is better to have a love lost then to have never loved at all
 
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Spartacus00

Spartacus00

Member
May 3, 2019
28
I feel this so deeply. My boyfriend of 11 years (since we were 14!) broke up with me just over a month ago and the pain is unbearable. Especially painful when they leave for someone else. This is my reason for ctb :(

Yes it hurts so much I know what you going through, after everything we give an they shatter our hearts
 
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Letmego. Please

Letmego. Please

Wizard
Nov 18, 2018
619
It is better to have a love lost then to have never loved at all

You know that really used to bug me when i was first divorced, but now i see it, yes it ended badly, but on the upside i will never have to be called a 'Spinster' & yes with that wonderful world of hindsight i am glad that i had 10 good yrs of marriage even if it broke my heart at the end, it was worth it.

Yes it hurts so much I know what you going through, after everything we give an they shatter our hearts

One thing that helps is to see that the person who has broken your heart & destroyed the life you had together, isn't actually the same person you fell in love with all those yrs ago, seeing and accepting that they are a different person does help.
 
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limelight

limelight

I'm probably high while writing this crap.
Mar 15, 2019
75
I know how you feel. Got dumped two months ago, and he was the last thing I had to live for in this world. Now I see no point, I'm in so much pain...
 
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chrijo

chrijo

done
Feb 8, 2019
329
It is better to have a love lost then to have never loved at all
True.

Even though love has killed me inside - I am nevertheless grateful for the experience.
 
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