Venting heartbroken

[lelouch22]

This is just a vent as I have no one to talk to. My boyfriend broke up with me, I'm hurt. He moved on so fast and he loves another girl now, it was so quick. I don't wanna be here anymore and the pain hurts me greatly, I want to ctb, but I'm concerned everyone else is going to think that I did it just to get his attention, or that I did it "over a boy" but in reality, this was just my last straw. I've hated my life for so long and this was just it. I did everything with him and he was my first love. I would've done anything for him. He lied to me about the reason of our break up when in reality he found someone else he loves better. I can't handle this pain I really can't I'm not strong enough for this. With him, I atleast saw a faction of how happy life could be, but now that he's gone, it feels like there's absolutely zero reason to keep going. I didn't wanna leave my life because of him, because I thought about how it would impact him. There's no reason to keep going, he is in love with her. He's willing to do everything for her already, why should I keep going. I feel like he never really loved me as he moved on so quick and he's in love already. I feel like no one could ever possibly truly love me. I'm unable to move on. I really feel like this is it for me. Everyone I tried to vent to sucks, they keep saying it's not "worth it to go just for a guys attention" but it's not that they don't even understand. The pain is unbearable I plan to go by sn

 

[leeloosnow]

i'm really sorry you're going thru this, i can't imagine the hurt you are feeling. i always try to remind myself that people suck and nothing i do or dont do is gonna change it. i also try to consider if i'm making an emotionally vs rationally driven choice/action, sometimes i find it helpful to make myself wait a little bit, or write abt it, or set forth a logical outline of my situation, my options to address the situation, pluses and minuses, desired results ect. all the best to you and i hope you find peace.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be really painful and hard to deal with. It's just so awful how life can get even worse than it already is. I see people as often being very unreliable and disappointing. I wish you freedom from suffering.

 

[Sadboyspecimen]

I went through a very similar experience with a girl I was dating. I know how it feels for everyone to say it's all an effort to get attention. But like you say, it was the last straw. People don't see it, and really don't care to look and try to find out. But it sucks to be heartbroken over and over and over again, weather it's romantically, or by family, or by failure to achieve what you set out to achieve. It all builds up and only takes one final straw to truly descend into madness. And everyone says the same thing. "Grow up" "it's not that bad" "everyone deals with breakups" but they've never known what it's like to be a pity invite, or the elephant in the room. They've never known what it's like wait all Friday night to get a call or text to go hangout, but midnight rolls around and you're still waiting. They've never known what it's like to be so desperate for friends that they are always available to help with anything, until they find of that their friends secretly call them their "bitch". They've never known what it's like to know a gf/bf is pulling away, becoming more busy out of nowhere, saying they love you still, but also always texting or snapchatting with someone when you are together and you have to pretend to not notice or else they will get mad and say quit being jealous, only to be broken up with a week or two later. And they have certainly never known what it is like to experience all of these things happening together at the same point in life. Some probably won't ever experience even more than one of those in their lifetime.

 

[theboy]

losing someone hurts like a thousand knives in the heart
hope you feel better soon

 

[Lullaby]

People honestly suck so much, and being tossed by someone you care about is the worst. I'm sorry.

 

[lelouch22]

i'm really sorry you're going thru this, i can't imagine the hurt you are feeling. i always try to remind myself that people suck and nothing i do or dont do is gonna change it. i also try to consider if i'm making an emotionally vs rationally driven choice/action, sometimes i find it helpful to make myself wait a little bit, or write abt it, or set forth a logical outline of my situation, my options to address the situation, pluses and minuses, desired results ect. all the best to you and i hope you find peace.

I went through a very similar experience with a girl I was dating. I know how it feels for everyone to say it's all an effort to get attention. But like you say, it was the last straw. People don't see it, and really don't care to look and try to find out. But it sucks to be heartbroken over and over and over again, weather it's romantically, or by family, or by failure to achieve what you set out to achieve. It all builds up and only takes one final straw to truly descend into madness. And everyone says the same thing. "Grow up" "it's not that bad" "everyone deals with breakups" but they've never known what it's like to be a pity invite, or the elephant in the room. They've never known what it's like wait all Friday night to get a call or text to go hangout, but midnight rolls around and you're still waiting. They've never known what it's like to be so desperate for friends that they are always available to help with anything, until they find of that their friends secretly call them their "bitch". They've never known what it's like to know a gf/bf is pulling away, becoming more busy out of nowhere, saying they love you still, but also always texting or snapchatting with someone when you are together and you have to pretend to not notice or else they will get mad and say quit being jealous, only to be broken up with a week or two later. And they have certainly never known what it is like to experience all of these things happening together at the same point in life. Some probably won't ever experience even more than one of those in their lifetime.

Couldn't have said it any better myself.

 

[DeadManLiving]

This is just a vent as I have no one to talk to. My boyfriend broke up with me, I'm hurt. He moved on so fast and he loves another girl now, it was so quick. I don't wanna be here anymore and the pain hurts me greatly, I want to ctb, but I'm concerned everyone else is going to think that I did it just to get his attention, or that I did it "over a boy" but in reality, this was just my last straw. I've hated my life for so long and this was just it. I did everything with him and he was my first love. I would've done anything for him. He lied to me about the reason of our break up when in reality he found someone else he loves better. I can't handle this pain I really can't I'm not strong enough for this. With him, I atleast saw a faction of how happy life could be, but now that he's gone, it feels like there's absolutely zero reason to keep going. I didn't wanna leave my life because of him, because I thought about how it would impact him. There's no reason to keep going, he is in love with her. He's willing to do everything for her already, why should I keep going. I feel like he never really loved me as he moved on so quick and he's in love already. I feel like no one could ever possibly truly love me. I'm unable to move on. I really feel like this is it for me. Everyone I tried to vent to sucks, they keep saying it's not "worth it to go just for a guys attention" but it's not that they don't even understand. The pain is unbearable I plan to go by sn

I'm sorry this has happened to you. I gave up on relationships for this reason. It seems every relationship is just a disaster waiting to happen, so I just gave up on the idea of love. The pain is the worst of the worst. If you I never let yourself get excited in the first place, you'll never end up disappointed. Which is a miserable ultimatum. I would hang in there for a few weeks or moths to let things pass and then re-assess.

 

[Pluto]

I've been through this many times. Unfortunately, very few people will understand the extent of the pain because most of them have reasonably workable circumstances beneath the surface.

A couple of things are worth understanding. The pain was always there due to some mixture of past abuse or mental health struggles, but the various forms of pleasure or validation of a relationship will create a layer of pseudo-happy distraction on top while it lasts. Then a crash occurs, and it appears that the break-up was the cause of the avalanche of pain.

Also taking blame away from the ex-partner is that the bond itself is based on your relationships with parents/carers in early childhood. Any early abandonment or abuse will manifest in a tendency to unintentionally push away a partner and then suffer enormously when they leave. The last thing you will want now is a theory lesson, but it is very important to know the basics of attachment in adults. It may be possible to work on this with the right professional support.

With a good understanding of the situation you find yourself in, you'll be able to make the most informed possible choice.

 

[colkohice]

This is just a vent as I have no one to talk to. My boyfriend broke up with me, I'm hurt. He moved on so fast and he loves another girl now, it was so quick. I don't wanna be here anymore and the pain hurts me greatly, I want to ctb, but I'm concerned everyone else is going to think that I did it just to get his attention, or that I did it "over a boy" but in reality, this was just my last straw. I've hated my life for so long and this was just it. I did everything with him and he was my first love. I would've done anything for him. He lied to me about the reason of our break up when in reality he found someone else he loves better. I can't handle this pain I really can't I'm not strong enough for this. With him, I atleast saw a faction of how happy life could be, but now that he's gone, it feels like there's absolutely zero reason to keep going. I didn't wanna leave my life because of him, because I thought about how it would impact him. There's no reason to keep going, he is in love with her. He's willing to do everything for her already, why should I keep going. I feel like he never really loved me as he moved on so quick and he's in love already. I feel like no one could ever possibly truly love me. I'm unable to move on. I really feel like this is it for me. Everyone I tried to vent to sucks, they keep saying it's not "worth it to go just for a guys attention" but it's not that they don't even understand. The pain is unbearable I plan to go by sn

Sucks to hear this. But if you're going to talk to "normal people", don't mention the break-up else people will simply brush it off, especially if you're young. When I lost my wife and kid in a car accident, people brushed it off saying that I'm still young and I will meet someone new and create a new family. I never did, because the pain of losing them have become a part of me. When you lose someone you truly love, you lose a part of yourself as well.