Heartbreak

[Only Me Here]

Ive read that quite a few are here because of heartbreak, it may be a reason or the sole reason. Do you guys tell the person who is causing it about your thoughts? Do you try to get them back? Or do you stay silent and keep planning, knowing that telling them will drive them away further. I am in this same mess all the time, the person changes the situation doesn't i always mess everything up and end up alone again. I say i will be different next time but i never am, so the best thing to do is get rid of me. How do you stop yourself from not contacting them though? Or do you contact them and let them think you are crazy? Does it ever work? Do they take you back or just block you?

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Hey my sympathies you are feeling this way too I can relate.
I am partly here because of heartbreak. I foolishly threw away my soul mate 5 years ago and since then my life has been a descent into hell. I tried and tried to get him bad but he would not forgive me and he ended up moving far away anyway. I honestly think my incessant pushing him to get back with me drove him further away from me. We have since talked and he says stuff like he still loves me and he wishes we could be together again but he now has a girlfriend he wont leave and I just cant bear to talk to him knowing that someone else loves him...someone else has my soulmate and the life I should have had. I deleted all social media and never gave him my new number so he has no way of contacting me now. I so badly want to contact him but I dont bother at this point. I will never get him back and Im at peace with my decision to go.

More recently I have been in an emotionally abusive relationship (had another physically abusive one but thats another story). This guy is nothing but a liar and a cheater yet I beg him to stay with me. Im pathetic i know. I feel so worthless that I allow myself to be treated this way and I would rather be in a terrible relationship than be alone. People judge me like crazy when I tell them this but its the truth. He gets mad at me for showing up to his house or just incessantly trying to ask for forgiveness (even though I do nothing wrong). He has blocked me before and ignored me for months but he contacted me again early this year and I tried to go back to him. Things are still the same bad and downhill mess. The never ending cycle of him ignoring and never wanting to be patient with someone like me who has severe ptsd from trauma, depression and health issues. And now Im alone again.

Opps didnt mean to write so much but I just felt like venting i guess. Feel free to message me if you ever want someone to talk to <3.

 

[Only Me Here]

Im glad you did write that much. I also have ended up with abusive men, i think mostly because they are Losers who come back to my crazy because they are crazy too. I have also deleted my SM and blocked him but msged him a few weeks ago, he happened to be drunk and said he wanted me back, but i had already chosen to leave. I cut my hair off months ago and gained weight and stopped caring about my looks so i would never go back even if i wanted to. Which is good because when he sobered up he forgot what he had said anyway. I know that i will always ruin everything and never be able to enjoy the moment, always fearing this person will leave me too and i will be alone again (i have zero family). Its too much to put in one person and being ignored sends me into more panic. I am just waiting for A to email me back and get what i need or im just going to do carbon and put myself out of this misery. I have All my materials ready. In the meantime time is passing so very slowly that sometimes any company to make the time go faster seems worth it.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Im glad you did write that much. I also have ended up with abusive men, i think mostly because they are Losers who come back to my crazy because they are crazy too. I have also deleted my SM and blocked him but msged him a few weeks ago, he happened to be drunk and said he wanted me back, but i had already chosen to leave. I cut my hair off months ago and gained weight and stopped caring about my looks so i would never go back even if i wanted to. Which is good because when he sobered up he forgot what he had said anyway. I know that i will always ruin everything and never be able to enjoy the moment, always fearing this person will leave me too and i will be alone again (i have zero family). Its too much to put in one person and being ignored sends me into more panic. I am just waiting for A to email me back and get what i need or im just going to do carbon and put myself out of this misery. I have All my materials ready. In the meantime time is passing so very slowly that sometimes any company to make the time go faster seems worth it.

Yep thats the only reason my ex "bf" ever messaged again me was because he was drunk. He was so apologetic, nice and said how much he missed me and bla bla bla. None of it was true. I feel like such a fool for believing him and trusting him again thinking things would be different this time and he would actually care and love me, because I had mentally moved on from him after the last time he cheated and ignored me. Now here I am alone again.

 

[Spartacus00]

To start off with no my ex gf don't know what I doing or planning an she ain't going to cos that's unfair to her, I will send her a text when time is to late an let her know everything but mostly nothing is her fault this is something I had to do, I know people say give it time an so on but I can't do that I cannot know that she out there an not by my side im 31 an have loved before but I know I never finding this again she is my true love an will me my last love, I just hope she understands

 

[Only Me Here]

Have you decided how and when? Im waiting for A but have had no response. sometimes i have a day so difficult like today i just want to take my two charcoal bbqs to the balcony and light them and try. But then i know if i do it desperately i might screw it up based on others stories here. The only reason i wouldnt text at the end is I'm afraid it wouldn't work and then i outted my intentions. And if it does work i really don't care how it effected anyone who failed me. I wish there was a pill for patience or numbness while i wait.

 

[Spartacus00]

Have you decided how and when? Im waiting for A but have had no response. sometimes i have a day so difficult like today i just want to take my two charcoal bbqs to the balcony and light them and try. But then i know if i do it desperately i might screw it up based on others stories here. The only reason i wouldnt text at the end is I'm afraid it wouldn't work and then i outted my intentions. And if it does work i really don't care how it effected anyone who failed me. I wish there was a pill for patience or numbness while i wait.

I got some SN coming 100g I was going make my own pills out of capsules fill them up with SN I should only need 15/20g I THINK lol I only weigh 10 stone so won't need loads an I be doing it day or two after I got it so I can say goodbye to people that I want say bye to an I don't believe anyone failed me I just believe no point in searching for something that I never find again an that's true love

 

[Only Me Here]

I got some SN coming 100g I was going make my own pills out of capsules fill them up with SN I should only need 15/20g I THINK lol I only weigh 10 stone so won't need loads an I be doing it day or two after I got it so I can say goodbye to people that I want say bye to an I don't believe anyone failed me I just believe no point in searching for something that I never find again an that's true love

Can you tell me why she broke up with you? Is she talking to you at all? There is no chance? I know what you mean, why keep searching for something you will never find. It is self torture.

 

[Spartacus00]

Can you tell me why she broke up with you? Is she talking to you at all? There is no chance? I know what you mean, why keep searching for something you will never find. It is self torture.

I caught her with someone else an no she ain't talking to me anymore an I think that's best cos it wouldn't do me any good I made up my mind an I glad you understand how I feel an also she was so pretty she just made me everything I am today I was a better person wanted the best for her an still do an that's not me

 

[JayZT]

No, they should never get to know.

 

[Broken]

no I wouldn't let my ex know my ctb plans. She'll probably hear about it eventually through mutual friends. It's shit because she's never coming back but I know she'll feel sad when she finds out. She's a good person that would want the best for me but losing her has just been to much to handle.

 

[Only Me Here]

Broken how did you lose her?

 

[Dead beat dad]

Ive read that quite a few are here because of heartbreak, it may be a reason or the sole reason. Do you guys tell the person who is causing it about your thoughts? Do you try to get them back? Or do you stay silent and keep planning, knowing that telling them will drive them away further. I am in this same mess all the time, the person changes the situation doesn't i always mess everything up and end up alone again. I say i will be different next time but i never am, so the best thing to do is get rid of me. How do you stop yourself from not contacting them though? Or do you contact them and let them think you are crazy? Does it ever work? Do they take you back or just block you?

I'm sorry to hear about your pain friend. Separating from your significant other is a heartache that so many here know well.
When my grandmother died, my grandpoppa was so heart broken he CTB, this can literally be the end of some people.
I think in some cases losing a bf or gf may only compound an existing problem.
No amount of love poured on to you will douse the flames of hate if you don't or cannot love yourself.
If your relationship is ended, it is probably for a reason. Take some time to reflect on the other things that make you feel like you want to CTB not just your break up, where does that leave you and dies that help answer your questions about cutting them off or trying to get them back.
Good luck friend, I hope you can find sanity and peace.
DBD

 

[Only Me Here]

I'm sorry to hear about your pain friend. Separating from your significant other is a heartache that so many here know well.
When my grandmother died, my grandpoppa was so heart broken he CTB, this can literally be the end of some people.
I think in some cases losing a bf or gf may only compound an existing problem.
No amount of love poured on to you will douse the flames of hate if you don't or cannot love yourself.
If your relationship is ended, it is probably for a reason. Take some time to reflect on the other things that make you feel like you want to CTB not just your break up, where does that leave you and dies that help answer your questions about cutting them off or trying to get them back.
Good luck friend, I hope you can find sanity and peace.
DBD

Oh i have many reasons, that relationship is probably the smallest reason it was just the final cherry on top, and i have been this way long before i even met this person. I have no one in this world, so when one person you have leaves its extremely difficult. But the main problem is not having anyone in the first place