Dreamlike Reality
Bedhead š¤
- Nov 29, 2021
- 74
It's not within my own interest to leave SS, I find this place extremely comforting and a safe haven and I still have to die . . . However, my boyfriend knows I spend a lot of time here. He says he "knows what these communities are like" and says it's not a healthy place for me to be and he worries.
I don't want to disappoint him at all, and since my plan to CTB was discovered, I think I'll be trying to distance myself from here to make him happy. I guess I'm just surprised someone cares about me at all, I want to keep him in my life while I'm here . . .
The thing is, it's extremely difficult for me to get away. It's like an addiction. Learning about methods and reading stories makes me feel at ease with where I am in life but I have to do it for him. The way I've been trying to do it isn't healthy at all in its own right (I can't eat anything if I open up the website at all, I've already failed today) so if anyone else here in Recovery has any better tips or anything I'd like to hear them. Thank you.
I don't want to disappoint him at all, and since my plan to CTB was discovered, I think I'll be trying to distance myself from here to make him happy. I guess I'm just surprised someone cares about me at all, I want to keep him in my life while I'm here . . .
The thing is, it's extremely difficult for me to get away. It's like an addiction. Learning about methods and reading stories makes me feel at ease with where I am in life but I have to do it for him. The way I've been trying to do it isn't healthy at all in its own right (I can't eat anything if I open up the website at all, I've already failed today) so if anyone else here in Recovery has any better tips or anything I'd like to hear them. Thank you.