Story he never had a chance

[okkkk]

Is it wrong for me to need someone to understand my problem with my parents? My therapist gives logical basic life advice but whenever I bring up the serious issues i have with them. And i even agree with her advice but It hasnt been that many sessions and the fact that she is completely unable to accept that they could ever be a serious negative force on my life bothers me. Really most of the reason I seeked help again is because i feel like i need to express what I had to endure as a child due to my dad being an insecure tyrant and my mom being a cowardly willing slave. Its kind of horrifying to realize the truth about how in the isolated cult of a family youre completely subject to the questionable will of your parents, and when it goes awry inevitably NO ONE not even a "mental health professional" is even slightly interested in hearing about it. No one can possibly relate to having parents that wanted you to live as their puppet and stifled your development in any other respect unless youve experienced it or something like it. Its the epitome of unrelatable for most. Its pretty maddening to have someone try their hardest to crush my self esteem to be easier to manipulate and have anyone I open up enough to, to let out this tender memory minimize it and tell me broad platitudes. I hate being proven right. It only solidifies the idea that no one can save me and searching for sympathy is a stupid idea. What i really want is real support and connection. i need solid relationships. not therapy. i feel like i was constantly denied a real relationship with someone who didnt want to hurt me. Even looking back on childhood friendships i question the quality of ALL them. it causes extreme angst that ive existed this long essentially alone with nothing to lean on. starved of any kind of real long lasting link so nothing tethers me here. pain.
I need to harness my autonomy now that im slightly older. Only I can give my pain meaning.

 

[Disappointered]

Totally relatable. Most therapists are abusive parasites.

 

[WrongGuy]

yeah

 

[noaccount]

You deserve to be heard about all that. Maybe someone who works for a DV program would be better than a regular therapist? If you tell someone you're just looking to talk about past experiences not current, sometimes they still have hotline people or counselors or support groups....

 

[Disappointered]

Really most of the reason I seeked help again is because i feel like i need to express what I had to endure as a child due to my dad being an insecure tyrant and my mom being a cowardly willing slave.

Same except my dad was also a cowardly slave in addition to being an insecure tyrant. His tyranny wasn't overt it was more about imposing things as norms for the family cult out of insecurity and that were also chosen because of his pathetic insecurity, like reading the right literature or only watching british television or being some sort of anti western communard...alone. Lone commies...retarded. I mentioned that to therapists in the past but they didn't say much about it. They were too busy thinking about the next time they could go golfing with their POS friends.

 

[WhiteDespair]

Maybe I got lucky with my therapists and they would listen when I talked about my childhood which sounds similar to yours. Either that or I forced them to listen. Most people can't understand what it means to have that type of abuse as a child and how it screws you up. You need to make them understand.

 

[okkkk]

Same except my dad was also a cowardly slave in addition to being an insecure tyrant. His tyranny wasn't overt it was more about imposing things as norms for the family cult out of insecurity and that were also chosen because of his pathetic insecurity, like reading the right literature or only watching british television or being some sort of anti western communard...alone. Lone commies...retarded. I mentioned that to therapists in the past but they didn't say much about it. They were too busy thinking about the next time they could go golfing with their POS friends.

Maybe I got lucky with my therapists and they would listen when I talked about my childhood which sounds similar to yours. Either that or I forced them to listen. Most people can't understand what it means to have that type of abuse as a child and how it screws you up. You need to make them understand.

I feel the exact same way you guys do but honestly it makes no sense to condemn my therapist for not being willing to listen. Its pretty much a law of the universe that you cant control anything but yourself. and that means i cant control her level of sympathy or understanding. So because i need for people to understand so badly i need to actually put myself out there and make real connections so this pain doesnt feel so intense. Its been hard for me to admit but the way my parents treated me and the time i feel that has been wasted due to them makes me want to kill myself. Because i have nothing and no one. and because i started out in such a bad environment i realize now that i NEVER had anyone at any point. And it kills me. a person cant live by themselves. I cant keep being separate from everyone else. Its literally eating me.

 

[whywere]

As far as I am concerned the mental health people that I have seen , all loved one thing..$$$$$$$$ period. Everyone that i ever saw, when it was getting close to the 1 hour mark, they would start looking at the clock and when 60 minutes was up, I was out of there. All about money period.

 

[WhiteDespair]

I feel the exact same way you guys do but honestly it makes no sense to condemn my therapist for not being willing to listen. Its pretty much a law of the universe that you cant control anything but yourself. and that means i cant control her level of sympathy or understanding. So because i need for people to understand so badly i need to actually put myself out there and make real connections so this pain doesnt feel so intense. Its been hard for me to admit but the way my parents treated me and the time i feel that has been wasted due to them makes me want to kill myself. Because i have nothing and no one. and because i started out in such a bad environment i realize now that i NEVER had anyone at any point. And it kills me. a person cant live by themselves. I cant keep being separate from everyone else. Its literally eating me.

You and I are in the same boat. We both know we lost time and our true selves and relationships and all else because of the abuse. It's hard to come to terms with all that and it's a reason I ended up here. Other people won't understand until you make them. My current therapist told me that he didn't get why the best day of my life was when my mother killed herself until I explained the abuse in further sessions. Then he got it.

 

[FatalSystemError591]

I lived in a situation where it was backwards. My stepmother was the insecure tyrant (who was also narcissistic among other things and refused to get help, even when told to her face by a medical professional she needed it. Instead of thinking about it, she pushed to get him fired and somehow it worked.) And my dad was the one to believe her. After a while he woke up to what she was doing to me at least but I don't know what they're like now as I disowned them all damn near besides my dad.

Is your clinic "informed consent" based? You may be able to ask someone there "hey this person isn't working out and I would like to see someone else" and they might have options or recommendations. My clinic is like that, at any time I want to switch if I think that my therapist or a psychiatrist aren't a good fit, I can switch with no cost to me.

 

[woxihuanni]

I feel the exact same way you guys do but honestly it makes no sense to condemn my therapist for not being willing to listen. Its pretty much a law of the universe that you cant control anything but yourself. and that means i cant control her level of sympathy or understanding. So because i need for people to understand so badly i need to actually put myself out there and make real connections so this pain doesnt feel so intense. Its been hard for me to admit but the way my parents treated me and the time i feel that has been wasted due to them makes me want to kill myself. Because i have nothing and no one. and because i started out in such a bad environment i realize now that i NEVER had anyone at any point. And it kills me. a person cant live by themselves. I cant keep being separate from everyone else. Its literally eating me.

I see you have been well trained at the reddit cult or alternately by gurus. However, and sorry to futilely beat at your impenetrable delusion, it is the job of the shrink to do those things just like the plumber has to deal with your toilet. So it is not a question of you 'controlling' anyone, really.

I am bowing out because being exposed to this shit makes me feel too dirty.

 

[okkkk]

I see you have been well trained at the reddit cult or alternately by gurus. However, and sorry to futilely beat at your impenetrable delusion, it is the job of the shrink to do those things just like the plumber has to deal with your toilet. So it is not a question of you 'controlling' anyone, really.

I am bowing out because being exposed to this shit makes me feel too dirty.

what?

 

[AutoTap]

Yeh I had a therapist who didn't listen and gave the vibe she knew me better then I knew myself.

Told her I've tried exposure therapy for over a year which I did with my other psychologist and it did nothing but make me temporarily worse during the exposure.

She's like okay well we should still do it as it's the most effective way to overcome anxiety.. it's like did you not listen to me?

Many therapist try to treat the symptom not the person. I saw her a few more times then changed because she made my life even worse

 

[Good4Nothing]

I see you have been well trained at the reddit cult or alternately by gurus. However, and sorry to futilely beat at your impenetrable delusion, it is the job of the shrink to do those things just like the plumber has to deal with your toilet. So it is not a question of you 'controlling' anyone, really.

I am bowing out because being exposed to this shit makes me feel too dirty.

Damn, I miss woxi popping into threads and dropping the weird.

 

[kitch]

Looks like an intersting "post therapy session forensics" kind of thing .

I think they are both right , OP and the mentioned Woxi.

I have disegwilubriated for hours over therapists ...

I think it's a huge advance to see the frailty in the Doctors ...
They're flawed humans .

( disegwilubriated : heard it on a song , don't know what it means , "Bent out of shape" ? so I am using my imagined definition incorrectly ... what else could I do ? )

 

[alice-in-wonderland]

I highly recommend this book https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4887.The_Drama_of_the_Gifted_Child
I might have read in this book or some other one by Alice Miller that some therapists need to develop mental and emotional capacity first to understand childhood abuse, which is does not always equal to rape and beatings.

 

[noaccount]

^ Yes her studies are groundbreaking and vital. Lundy Bancroft also cites her work and Judith Herman's ("Trauma And Recovery") in talking about clinical psych's disloyalty to survivors.