Having to move CTB date to this week. Can ya'll help me with my checklist of things to take care of first?

[ChristopherWalken]

Unfortunately I will be having to CTB this week, way before I thought I would. I thought I had about a year to prepare. Luckily I have 2 peaceful methods at my disposal and 1 surefire way if those fail somehow. I need to make sure everything is taken care of:
Done:

• Beneficiaries for life insurance and assets setup
• House cleared of most possessions and remodeling about halfway finished.
• Visited with Mom and Sister for as long as possible. Explained the hopelessness of my situation as much as possible without giving away what I'm planning
• Spent time with friends as much as possible. Kinda slipped up when drunk with best friend and said "I can't go back to prison I won't", and she picked up that I might be suicidal. Think I smoothed that slip over though.

To be done:

• Make a goodbye video for each person in my life, to be sent 3 days after death. (or maybe 8 in case I fail and need time to cancel the send).
• Come up with a reasonable story to be left alone for the time I need.
• Finish a revised will with Quicken willmaker and get it notarized in front of 2 witnesses.

Anything else I forgot? Is there a list somewhere I can go through?

I'm debating whether to have my cats with me when I go. I'm petrified of going alone and they've been such a great comfort. I should be found within 3 days max so they won't be alone very long.
I plan to make a post a few hours before I go so I won't feel so alone.

 

[Blackjack]

Which exit method will you try first? Why did you have to move your date up so much?

Everyone's list of final details to tend to are different depending on their personal life/circumstances. But it looks like you've got a good start. We're here to support you along the way.

 

[LMFAO FOCKERS]

I'm debating whether to have my cats with me when I go. I'm petrified of going alone and they've been such a great comfort. I should be found within 3 days max so they won't be alone very long.

I heard cats and dogs eat the remains of their dead owners even when they have enough food around for them. Cats kill and eat their dead babies if they smell weird so why would they discriminate? That could be an awful site for those who find you.

Otherwise sounds like you have things covered.

 

[LastFlowers]

Wipe anything off any device you don't want to be seen after you are gone, anything private that was for your own eyes only. I have to do this too and I have to figure out how to make it permanent.. just pressing delete is not enough. And leave passwords if you want anyone to have access to what you do end up wanting to be seen.
You never know how far the police will go with investigating. Sometimes it's overkill, sometimes it's open and shut within the hour.

 

[k75]

If you do keep your cats make sure they won't be alone long. Remember to leave them lots of fresh food and water and a clean litter box.
It's a myth that cats are more likely to eat dead people, but you still don't want to leave them helpless with no options.

Do you need to delete any info from things like your computer or phone? (What I have personally done is paid for an online backup service for a year and stored everything there, just in case something goes wrong. I'm not telling anyone about it, but if I were to fail, I can still retrieve it later.)

Cancel things you're paying for like Netflix? Services people might not be aware of?

Made a list of passwords if you want anyone to have access to things?

Just brainstorming... Using my own list here.

 

[LastFlowers]

I heard cats and dogs eat the remains of their dead owners even when they have enough food around for them. Cats kill and eat their dead babies if they smell weird so why would they discriminate? That could be an awful site for those who find you.

Otherwise sounds like you have things covered.

Yea I'm afraid it's a bad idea to have your cats with you OP. I have 4 cats and I would not have them with me even though I love them very much. I don't want them to be left with my dead body. It could be traumatic for them or they could -quite frankly- care less and start "eating" you.

3 days is WAY too long to leave your body with them.

 

[ChristopherWalken]

Which exit method will you try first? Why did you have to move your date up so much?


Everyone's list of final details to tend to are different depending on their personal life/circumstances. But it looks like you've got a good start. We're here to support you along the way.

I may be losing my job this week and I want my life insurance to pay out. I checked and it is still valid till the end of the pay period within which one gets fired. I think I read that correctly anyway...

I haven't decided. I think it would be easiest to use 2m2b along with a large dose of phenibut and a bottle of lorazepam. But I'm not 100% sure it would work. I also have a nitrogen tank and regulator so that would be #2 I guess. I guess I just want to drift off to sleep and never wake up. But losing consciousness due to lack of oxygen seems a little more scary albeit more certain.

 

[LMFAO FOCKERS]

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/natashaumer/cats-eat-your-face-after-you-die

Well then definitely no cats if you choose an overdose. The cats could eat you and die of an overdose too.

 

[ChristopherWalken]

Crap well I guess i'll just hang with them as long as I can and then go in the room and shut the door.

 

[eve2004]

If you do keep your cats make sure they won't be alone long. Remember to leave them lots of fresh food and water and a clean litter box.
It's a myth that cats are more likely to eat dead people, but you still don't want to leave them helpless with no options.

Do you need to delete any info from things like your computer or phone? (What I have personally done is paid for an online backup service for a year and stored everything there, just in case something goes wrong. I'm not telling anyone about it, but if I were to fail, I can still retrieve it later.)

Cancel things you're paying for like Netflix? Services people might not be aware of?

Made a list of passwords if you want anyone to have access to things?

Just brainstorming... Using my own list here.

Just list your things to unsubscribe or cancel. No need to do it in advance. I personally paid up front everything I could possibly owe for an entire year, and not only cleared my credit card but added a couple thousand for incidental things from now till CTB. (Like buying supplies....)

I am planning to destroy my sim card and hide the phone somewhere in case something goes wrong. Will delete all my email accounts except for a new one that I made for general stupid purposes. Nothing personal.

The notary and will part is expensive. And takes a while. Might not be able to get it done in a week. List your bank accounts and assets so they don't need to go investigating around.

 

[Stan]

Do you need to delete any info from things like your computer or phone? (What I have personally done is paid for an online backup service for a year and stored everything there, just in case something goes wrong. I'm not telling anyone about it, but if I were to fail, I can still retrieve it later.)

You could back up your phone to your PC, factory reset the phone. Get a free hard disk encryption software application and encrypt your hard disk so only you can access the data. empty your bank account so even though you may have direct debits or payments coming out they will bounce

 

[gingerplum]

Unfortunately I will be having to CTB this week, way before I thought I would. I thought I had about a year to prepare. Luckily I have 2 peaceful methods at my disposal and 1 surefire way if those fail somehow. I need to make sure everything is taken care of:
Done:

• Beneficiaries for life insurance and assets setup
• House cleared of most possessions and remodeling about halfway finished.
• Visited with Mom and Sister for as long as possible. Explained the hopelessness of my situation as much as possible without giving away what I'm planning
• Spent time with friends as much as possible. Kinda slipped up when drunk with best friend and said "I can't go back to prison I won't", and she picked up that I might be suicidal. Think I smoothed that slip over though.

To be done:

• Make a goodbye video for each person in my life, to be sent 3 days after death. (or maybe 8 in case I fail and need time to cancel the send).
• Come up with a reasonable story to be left alone for the time I need.
• Finish a revised will with Quicken willmaker and get it notarized in front of 2 witnesses.

Anything else I forgot? Is there a list somewhere I can go through?

I'm debating whether to have my cats with me when I go. I'm petrified of going alone and they've been such a great comfort. I should be found within 3 days max so they won't be alone very long.
I plan to make a post a few hours before I go so I won't feel so alone.

I think you're extremely organized and incredibly thoughtful. Do you have a home arranged for the cats, or know for certain someone will take them?

It sure looks like you've done all the legwork. I wish you felt like you had other options, but I will root for Team Walken either way.

 

[bea1974]

I may be losing my job this week and I want my life insurance to pay out. I checked and it is still valid till the end of the pay period within which one gets fired. I think I read that correctly anyway...

I haven't decided. I think it would be easiest to use 2m2b along with a large dose of phenibut and a bottle of lorazepam. But I'm not 100% sure it would work. I also have a nitrogen tank and regulator so that would be #2 I guess. I guess I just want to drift off to sleep and never wake up. But losing consciousness due to lack of oxygen seems a little more scary albeit more certain.

Does your life insurance definitely cover death by suicide? Many don't.

 

[gingerplum]

I'm lacking an emoji that indicates "I can't fucking believe I didn't think of that".

 

[eve2004]

Companies should pay out for suicide. At least partially. First, a person who kills themself is/was mostly like in need of mental health help, which might mean going on disability. They may end up paying more for a person who subsists on disability (depends on your salary) than just the life insurance payout.

 

[k75]

Y

You could back up your phone to your PC, factory reset the phone. Get a free hard disk encryption software application and encrypt your hard disk so only you can access the data. empty your bank account so even though you may have direct debits or payments coming out they will bounce

The backup service I got let me back up my phone and computer completely, so no worries there. Just have to reset and delete everything when it's time. I'm just so uncomfortable with getting rid of my digital life forever and then having something go wrong and be here without it all. So I figured a secret backup was a good route.

Same with all my stuff. So I'm getting rid of the clutter and packing all the things I care about. That way, if I'm successful, it's easy to dispose of or whatever they want to do with it. And if I fail, I'll still have it all.

What I've learned is I guess I'm pretty materialistic. I collect things and I love them and I don't want to get rid of them forever, just in case.

The really special stuff I am labeling with names because I want them to be given to certain people. It's kind of a thing my family does, like even my mom has put people's names on the back of a certain items that she wants to go to people specifically. My grandmother did that too. Like paintings and art pieces and stuff like that. So I'm sure they'll respect it and everyone will get what I want them to have, which makes me feel a lot better. Also, if I'm found or fail or just someone happens to discover it before I do anything it won't be weird to anyone that I did that.

And I know that my best friend will make sure that my cat goes to live back home with my parents and I know they'll take great care of her. I'm going to keep her until the end, but she's not going to have access to the room that I'm in. I'm confident that I can time it to where I will be found pretty quickly.

The subject makes me feel so weird. It's like I'm living two lives right now. I'm planning for the future while at the same time I'm planning to have no future at all.

I'm sorry if this reply is awful or written poorly or if I say stupid stuff. I've been drinking tonight and I'm just in tears right now over the whole thing. I've been packing my apartment up all night so far and it's just I'll be really glad to have it done so I don't have to worry about it anymore but it's so hard to do because of what it means. I'm sorry I'm going to stop now because I seem to be rambling and way off the subject. I'm sorry.

 

[ChristopherWalken]

I'm not sure why I should be concerned about erasing my phone? I was thinking they might want to look on it and see my old pictures and text messages if they had any lingering questions or needed closure. I was actually going to write down the passcode for them.
No worries about your response K75. Any words shared at a time like this are appreciated and i can totally relate to what you are saying.

 

[Soul]

@ChristopherWalken, many of us use our phones to access this site and/or suppliers of whatever, and don't want them to be hassled by anyone after we die.

I'm sorry it's come to this and sorry you feel pressured to do it sooner than you had planned. Have you made sure your insurance policy will pay in a case of suicide?

I wouldn't mind my cats eating me but I would mind their distress. Do you know who you can rely on to take them in? Would your cover story to get a few days undisturbed stretch to asking that person to take the cats now?

Be careful, and journey well.

 

[k75]

I'm not sure why I should be concerned about erasing my phone? I was thinking they might want to look on it and see my old pictures and text messages if they had any lingering questions or needed closure. I was actually going to write down the passcode for them.
No worries about your response K75. Any words shared at a time like this are appreciated and i can totally relate to what you are saying.

I don't know about the phone really. I mean I have it set up so all the things I do online like come here and check my email and sign into Facebook and stuff like that are automatic sign ins so I don't really want anyone accessing those accessing those things. So I would want to delete all my passwords and stuff that are stored. And I really don't want anyone to ever read my email because there's really personal stuff in there.

And the same with my text messages. There's quite a few naughty conversations that are really for my eyes only. So I would you know I want to delete those so really the easiest thing to do is just reset the phone.

But you know if you don't have all that stuff or you want to individually take care of whatever. I mean it would be different and it wouldn't matter. So I guess it's just a personal preference. I just threw the idea out there because that's one thing I'm doing and I like my privacy even if I'm gone. Especially if I'm gone. My family does not need to be exposed to my personal life.

Man, I really hope I'm making sense here. I keep trying to stay away because drinking and posting and feeling horrible like I'm feeling now is not a good mix, but here I am trying to talk. Sorry if this is a trash post. I don't even know if I I said what I really meant.

I kept forgetting to say it but I'm really really really sorry that you're in this situation. I know we don't know each other but I just wish things were different for you. I hope you can at least find the peace you're looking for.

 

[GeorgeJL]

I would make a spotify playlist for your last days. That is what I am doing. Also I would meditate a lot before exiting life. Maybe burn some incense.

 

[ChristopherWalken]

Yeah I checked, it pays for suicide. There is an additional life policy I'm paying for that does not pay for it but the first one will be substantial help for my friends and family. I don't know if I'll be able to make it in jail, even if I could, what would be the point? Just more suffering for me and my family and a monetary drain on my relatives having to send extra every week for the food and supplies I would need.

 

[gingerplum]

Yeah I checked, it pays for suicide. There is an additional life policy I'm paying for that does not pay for it but the first one will be substantial help for my friends and family. I don't know if I'll be able to make it in jail, even if I could, what would be the point? Just more suffering for me and my family and a monetary drain on my relatives having to send extra every week for the food and supplies I would need.

Ok, I'll say it. I can't imagine that your friends & family wouldn't rather have you in prison than dead. Now, that said, for me it would definitely come down to length of sentence and type of prison. There are some things that I just couldn't do, and I completely respect your right to recognize your own limitations.

But if it's truly as much about preventing your friends and family suffering as much as yours, it's something to consider. I'm rooting for you, either way.

 

[ChristopherWalken]

Ok, I'll say it. I can't imagine that your friends & family wouldn't rather have you in prison than dead. Now, that said, for me it would definitely come down to length of sentence and type of prison. There are some things that I just couldn't do, and I completely respect your right to recognize your own limitations.

But if it's truly as much about preventing your friends and family suffering as much as yours, it's something to consider. I'm rooting for you, either way.

I think initially they would prefer me to stay alive at all costs, but as time wore on, years and years... The burden seems so huge. I know I'm being selfish because I could save them some loss and grief by taking my punishment, but I would have to be lying the whole time in my letters from jail saying that I'm ok when it's really daily torture.

 

[gingerplum]

I think initially they would prefer me to stay alive at all costs, but as time wore on, years and years... The burden seems so huge. I know I'm being selfish because I could save them some loss and grief by taking my punishment, but I would have to be lying the whole time in my letters from jail saying that I'm ok when it's really daily torture.

Completely understand and respect you.

 

[Rachel74]

Can you please organise my life OP?
You are so organised.
My life insurance does pay out for suicide but I'm in the U.K. and had my policy a long time. I think if it's a faith new policy they don't pay out. Unfortunately I'm still married to my ex so he's my next of kin so need to change that so my current partner gets it all (he deserves it)
Money will go in trust for my niece when she's 25, house will be paid off and money for the dogs, rest goes to my step dad and partner and to several animal charities and the local hospice that looked after my brother.

 

[k75]

I wish I had a policy, but they don't like people like me who dealing with cancer and stuff. That's a very bad thing as far as life insurance and stuff goes. I was trying to get one a few years ago but I just gave up on it because it seems like I'm uninsurable. Or would have to pay like a crap ton more than I should for it.

 

[eve2004]

Completely understand and respect you.

Yes, completely understand and feel so bad that you're in this situation. I'll be thinking about you.