having doubts

[LionBoy]

I believe it's the right think to do. I see no reason to live, yet i clung to life, because I always doubt it's the right decision to leave this world, as if it might be a mistake, but then it's too late.
And ofc there are still some small things I tell myself I still need to experience before the end.
But fear of methodes i have too

Anyone can relate?

 

[nomorelight2]

Self preservation is a strong thing. It's why I admire those who actually have the bottle to go through with it.

 

[mercutiomartis]

I definitely relate. I feel like I have already made my decision to CTB at some point in the near future, but I also am wondering if maybe I should stick around just to see what happens, if anything. I'm at a really weird crossroads rn.

 

[LionBoy]

im 37 male at this point, it can only go down hill. I cant imagine a good life at old age

 

[zeropercentangel]

Our survival instinct will do everything to try and keep us alive and it's so hard to fight it even if I'm completely certain that CTBing is the right choice.

 

[Soupster]

It's okay to listen to your doubts. Ctb will always be a future option if you want to live a bit more. For me personally, when I was having doubts I still wasn't ready.

 

[LionBoy]

survival what:>? i've no idea what ur talking about.

an option but scary one.

I still dont know how to quote

 

[divinemistress36]

im 37 male at this point, it can only go down hill. I cant imagine a good life at old age

It feels like if things havent looked up in your 30s they probably wont ever

 

[LionBoy]

It feels like if things havent looked up in your 30s they probably wont ever

exactly

 

[CatLvr]

im 37 male at this point, it can only go down hill. I cant imagine a good life at old age

I'm sorry I'm laughing it's just I remember thinking that same thing when I hit my mid-40s and I'm almost 70 and still here (had kids to raise, and of course, obligations keep getting in the way now). And I still can't imagine a good life at old age. But that "old age" turns out to be a moving target. I remember when I thought 20 was old and 30 was ancient. Then it was OMG I'm fixing to be 40?!?!? Now look at the mess I'm in.

 

[LionBoy]

I'm sorry I'm laughing it's just I remember thinking that same thing when I hit my mid-40s and I'm almost 70 and still here (had kids to raise, and of course, obligations keep getting in the way now). And I still can't imagine a good life at old age. But that "old age" turns out to be a moving target. I remember when I thought 20 was old and 30 was ancient. Then it was OMG I'm fixing to be 40?!?!? Now look at the mess I'm in.

ur not dependant on young people. I am only into people in their 20s and teens. Getting old will kill all my options in the dating market

 

[CatLvr]

It feels like if things havent looked up in your 30s they probably wont ever

I feel like I should address this one -- I felt that way, too. But it was my mid-30s that things started looking up for me and my 40s was what society leads you to believe your 20s are gonna be -- full of fun, adventure and love. It wasn't until my accident a few years ago that I REALLY fell back into thinking that I want to ctb sooner rather than later.

ur not dependant on young people. I am only into people in their 20s and teens. Getting old will kill all my options in the dating market

You might be surprised.