Hahaha, I have wondered about it myself. I did want to date for the first 25 years of my life, but now... I guess I have been alone for so long that I feel I couldn't be compatible with anyone. And I don't want to change myself to be more compatible with someone. I don't want to sacrifice my soul/being in order to please others. And if I found someone from here, it might make me not want to ctb, and I have dreams associated with ctb. And what is dating here in this world? The other person would just wageslave from dawn to dusk, they'd be spending more of their waking time with their workmates/boss than with me. If I'm rarely gonna see the other person, I might as well date a sack of potatoes.
I have aspergers and adhd. I had to quit my career, but don't receive disability. They do treat you like you're retarded.
I contacted Dignitas to find out if they'd take me with aspergers, but they just replied with general information on their services.
The world doesn't understand what autism is and they never know how to classify us or know what to do with us. The worst thing is sitting in front of a retarded neurotypical doctor trying to explain what the problem is and you detect that they don't have the intellect to grasp the problem. It's embarrassing.
I'm sorry for your situation. You do deserve all the money in the world regardless of what some pennypincher think. I don't know what Dignitas is but fuck them if they won't help you. Asperger... it's like a color that no one can see, a color that is so unique to the person, that sometimes not even other aspergers can see it. Neurousuality is a condition that lives in external things, asperger lives in internal. Kinda like I can imagine a cool dragon, but when I try to draw it, none of the drawn dragons look anything like it. Kinda like raw magic. Aspergers are their own worlds and they cannot be translated to this world. The same way that you can't write John in Chinese because Chinese just doesn't work that way. I believe asperger is the way humans are meant to be, and to be something else is to be broken, a puppet.
I dream of places where aspergers can truly embrace themselves, their uniqueness.
Hmm, I wonder how many aspergers have similar thoughts and feelings and experiences that I do, but they can never reveal them, because no non-asperger would ever understand and because they fear that other aspergers wouldn't understand either.
Aspergers are often really smart. Like one aspie asked "Why can't we wear swimwear at workplace?", neuroneuros would get heart attacks if they saw people in swimwear at offices but couldn't explain why "You're not supposed to do that!" is all they can vomit. Who the hell should give a shit about what you're supposed to do. Neurotypicals are the real autists, they stop functioning the second they see someone doing something they're not used to, because "mah traditions". Aspergers are unique, they don't care all about that nonsencial blahblah. And aspergers are inquisitive. Half of intelligence is being curious, the other half is ignoring anything others say and finding your own path. All social rules are fake. Made up. And they change from culture to culture. Asperger is what a human is supposed to be.
But yeah, psychiatrists suck. They can only say things they have heard and do things they have seen. They are nothing but recorded voice lines. Their coding is to be easily brainwashed to be a puppet of this world, and that's all they can ever do. It makes me laugh.
I hope you get money from somewhere. Or get into a world where money isn't needed.
I'm so sorry that's happening to you. Having autism really really sucks. This world is definitely not made for people like us… I wish it was different but it's just the reality that it isn't. People keep telling me I can fit in and live a 'normal and happy' life. No I can't, that's fucking impossible in this world when having autism.
I finally get money since about a year ago, after a fight of many many years. I finally met the right person a year ago who didn't take 'no' for an answer. But in about a year they will reevaluate and the fight will probably start again. I'm not ready for that, I'm done with fighting.
If you try to forcelly fit something in, it just breaks, and still might not fit in. I have had some real happines in my life. But they just take it away by putting in artifical difficulty like money, rotten houses, breaking ceilings, dirty water. There's no such thing as normal. Working is the fartherst thing from normal. That whole fight every year sucks so much. In Shitland, if you are literally born without any limbs you still have to provide proof every single year that you're still limbless. Like they expect people to grow limbs. Like there are already huge waiting lines, and they are even more filled because "Sheesh, I wonder if Ann who has been limbless for 42 years has finally grown limbs". It's like it's some subciousness remnant from a real world where people can grow limbs.
Good that you got some bucks, but yeah, unreal humans do unreal things that hurt real humans.
I'm sorry you have been through this. It is hypocritical the way they treat those with autism. I have aspergers too and I think many people who don't have it themselves do not understand what it is like.
True, true. Asperger is like being the only speaker of a language in a world where everyone else speaks some other language. I have wondered, in this place, men decide whether woman are allowed to have abortion or sterilization, heteros decide whether gays are allowed to marry or have sex, and normies decide how aspergers are treated. It's all illogical and upside down. Let aspergers decide their own things.
A country for only aspergers would be nice, eh?
I'm not entirely surprised that people with autism/Asperger's get this sort of treatment when any kind of mental illness seems to be considered synonymous with being "retarded".
I've had my IQ tested around 14 years ago and the results I was given put me in the top 2 percent. It was quite a surprise to me, but that's what it revealed and also that I'm dyslexic.
I'm not an idiot and I don't struggle to understand quite a wide gamut of things, from mundane to abstract. Yet, when I have been dealing with "professionals" in recent years, I have been spoken to in "that" tone. You, I'm sure, know the one I mean. The one they use to tell you, condescendingly, of some ridiculous, self evident, chunk of wisdom, like "Well you know, you need to pay your bills Flippy, you can't just expect someone else to do it!" Thus implying that firstly, I didn't know I needed to pay my bills, and secondly, I was sitting around just expecting someone else to do it.
I have a mental illness not fucking brain damage. The fact that I understand some very complex and abstract things appears to not factor into their thinking. Basically dismissing anything I can do as being simple, as it must be since a thicko like me can do it.
The worst thing is when the rules are in opposition. One says that you aren't competent to do "A" eg. Adopt. The other says that you are competent to do "B" eg. Work. Ok, well that seems a little like taking with both hands to me.
There are some real fucking meat heads out there that breed like rabbits, who raise meat heads to breed more meat heads. But that's just fine as they are considered (as you said) neuro-typical. The fact that you wouldn't trust them to tie their own shoelaces, apparently not a problem.
My mother, who should never have been allowed within 100 feet of kids, nevertheless, was permitted to "raise" 3 kids, torturing the shit out of 2 in particular into adulthood and beyond. But that's fine, as long as it's your own kids apparently. And if I occasionally feel a bit crap about the situation, or mournful that I missed my opportunities to have a better life due to the damaged caused, well, "that's all in the past, so it doesn't matter, we just want to talk about the future."
What about what I would like to talk about you fuck head?!
There's a quote, hmmm, can't quite remember it, hmmmm, something about failing to remember or acknowledge the past and, erm something about, ermmmm, hmmmm, repeating mistakes? Is that it? I mean I have a mental illness so maybe I'm just too retarded to understand?
I hate it. Aspergers are often the smarter ones. Like aspergers are often good with coding, and I think coding is so hard, only few can do it without help. But how could a stupid normie understand an intelligent asperger the same way a pig can't read a book.
Intelligence has nothing to do with being able to read. Intelligence is just curiosity and the willingness to adapt your thinking. You could never see a single book and be the most intelligent. Information and knowledge is just a side effect of intelligence. Of course intelligence can be trained. I saw a test where a school of African kids took an IQ test, got an average of 70 points, trained two weeks and got 90 points.
Aah, I hate when they treat people like dorks. Sorry you had to experience it. I had a 63 year old psychologist explain to me what a DevArt is despite the fact that I have been a member of DevArt since I was 13. So for over 10 years and he had never even visited the site only heard of it. :\ Feminists would call it mansplaining, I call it retardness.
I'm bad at paying bills sometimes. Like, humans didn't evolve to pay bills. If I'm able to pay bills, I'll prove that I'm not a human. O_O' Hahaha, just kidding, but fuck mundane tasks. A person can be a brainsurgerer and be bad at trying shoes (it took me ages to learn to tie shoes). Aspergers excel at what interests them.
If asperger is a mental illness, I don't even want to know what neurotypicality is. Mental nonexistence? Well, I'm glad my asperger isn't a mental illness.
Neurotypical are things that act on keywords. There's a check inside them and when it gets clicked on, nothing can turn it off. Kinda like how in a computer game once an NPC likes you, you can hit them with a sword and blast magic at them, and they are all "I love you, you're our hero!". They don't have anymore coded lines. They don't have reactions to other things. The same NPCs aka non-aspergers see "asperger" and then you can do pretty much anything to them, doesn't work, their imperfect code says "asperger=stupid" instead of "Oh, Henry said some some things. Henry=smart".
I'm very sorry for the smart neurotypicals. I don't hate good neurotypicals. Just the ones who treat aspergers badly.
Yeah, the rules in opposition. I feel like I have all the responsibilities and none of the rights.
Well said. Meatheads be meatheads, or should I say, meadheads. It's funny actually, intelligent people breed less so there are not many of us. Iirc 90IQ is the perfect to have if you want kids.
Fuck. Sorry you have a shithead mother too. I actually had a talk about that just a while ago. I was speaking with someone on an anonymous mental health chat about all the abuse I have suffered in my n parents hands since I was born. The person took me very seriously and promised to help me get justice, until they found out I wasn't a minor anymore. The fact that they expect minors to report child abuse is absolutely fucked. A minor isn't allowed to vote, but they are expected to report child abuse. Meanwhile a 18 year old can vote but isn't allowed to report child abuse. That's equilevant to person A robbing and beating up person B while B is only 17,999999999999 years old, the person B waiting a week and turning 18,000000, going to police and the police saying "You should have here two days ago when you were still a minor". Child abuse leaves scars. Scars are only healed with justice. Or by waking up from this nightmare.
You seem like a smart and cool person. The people around you are the ones truly mentally ill or mentally nonexistent. I hope you can find justice someday someway somewhere.
