Dead beat dad

Dead beat dad

Enlightened
Mar 5, 2019
1,030
Currently sat on a train to the coast.
I'm not intending to CTB today or tomorrow, this is just a bit of a coincidence, but I've mapped out today to sort of mirror what I want my last day to be like.
Going to do some exercise, walk along the beach, take a bath, have some nice food, then crash in to bed.
The only thing missing from this sequence somewhere is the ingestion of fatal substances.
I want to see how this process makes me feel from an emotional standpoint.
I might drink as an act of symbolism some rank alcohol to reflect CTB just to see what it does to my state of mind.

TL;DR: Today I'm doing a sort of emotional test run and for some reason I feel the need to put it here

Peace everybody

DBD
 
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SearchForPeace

SearchForPeace

Soo much agony. Little reward. Give me Peace.
Apr 11, 2019
45
Good luck. Hope today goes well. Have a nice day.
 
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R

ron_g

Experienced
Nov 25, 2018
240
Why don't you take "placebos" to simulate the ingestion of your substances?
 
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Dead beat dad

Dead beat dad

Enlightened
Mar 5, 2019
1,030
Why don't you take "placebos" to simulate the ingestion of your substances?
Good suggestion, thanks friend. I'm probably going to go with the SN method, which while is more peaceful than other methods will still give me some pain I think. I don't really like alcohol so I thought this would be a good test of my stomach.
 
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Dead beat dad

Dead beat dad

Enlightened
Mar 5, 2019
1,030
How kind, thanks for asking friend.
It was depressing and tiring, but I think you could've predicted I would say that.
My test made me super emotional and tired and I was sort of glad that I didn't have any toxic substances (although kind of considered walking in to the sea)
 
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