Cashewmilk
Specialist
- Mar 10, 2020
- 352
My sister and I were feeding the raccoons and cats, and now we have either rats or mice in the walls of my mom's 1.8 million dollar house (tbf she paid 600K for it 16 years ago). It's all my fault, I feel so horrible. And I think the electricity in my part of the house will go off any day now. It has already gone off on my sister's side of the place and in my room, I am currently using a giant extension cord to power my room. I can't bring the electrician back here because my sister's a hoarder and we have to clean up one of the rooms so they can access the electrical outlet. It's been almost 6 months since they first came, I said we'd call them back next weekend. The rat issue is the worst... it's so bad, I'm already badly suicidal and have been for 20 years, and I've gone through hell and back in my lifetime, but I have to say, this has got to be the worst thing I've ever had to deal with simply because it affects other people and not just me, and it's fucking expensive and my family values money over life. And I've gone through heroin addiction, forced myself into prostitution for 9 years, and other crap. I know that when the exterminator comes and kills the rodents, they will die in the walls and it will smell so bad. I also hate killing rats and using poison, it also affects other wildlife, I hate seeing any animal suffer, I actually like rats and mice but I know they carry diseases and they are a big pest. I hate how rat poison methods are so painful and sadistic, why can't these creatures have a peaceful quick death? I guess if they sold rat euthanasia then we'd all be buying it too for ourselves. At least the damn pest control company could use it with their license and all.
These issues are really making me want to die even more now. I was actually going to give it one more shot and try doing something online with my art stuff, because I'm basically stuck here, I've failed so many attempts and I'm just tired of wasting my time with researching and planning ctb and failing...these kinds of terrible things that happen to me just remind me of how much I hate life and how miserable I am and how much I wish I didn't exist. I always make stupid dumb decisions too and fucked up shit always happens to me even when its outside of my control.
These issues are really making me want to die even more now. I was actually going to give it one more shot and try doing something online with my art stuff, because I'm basically stuck here, I've failed so many attempts and I'm just tired of wasting my time with researching and planning ctb and failing...these kinds of terrible things that happen to me just remind me of how much I hate life and how miserable I am and how much I wish I didn't exist. I always make stupid dumb decisions too and fucked up shit always happens to me even when its outside of my control.