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victorisunlucky

victorisunlucky

Member
Dec 9, 2024
14
For the first time in my life, I've made steps in actually approaching a girl. For context, both of my previous relationships were initiated by the other party, but i've been single since august and its getting to be really lonely.
I saw a really attractive girl sitting alone in my vector calculus class and spent 2 weeks working up the nerve to actually do something. 2 weeks ago I asked if i could sit next to her, and last Tuesday I complemented a hair wrap she had in (she smiled and said thank you).
These are all firsts for me and it makes me super nervous. I feel like I'm getting my hopes up for nothing, I dont know anything about her really, and i dont really know how/where to take this. It's bittersweet, on one hand, this is the farthest I've gotten on my own terms, on the other, i have no idea what to do.
 
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pointblank

pointblank

digicore glitz° • ✧
Dec 12, 2024
185
Keep on flirting and rizzing her
 
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avalokitesvara

avalokitesvara

bodhisattva
Nov 28, 2024
237
Girls like it when you see them as a person and not just "an attractive girl". Ask her questions about herself, maybe her other classes, how she likes the subjects, what's her major, what are her graduation plans, things like that.
 
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drakflowerfire

drakflowerfire

I just want to find my own happiness
Mar 7, 2024
30
Ashu

Ashu

novelist, sanskritist, Canadian living in India
Nov 13, 2021
748
If you're so dishonest with yourself about what you want from this girl that you're too nervous to even ask her anything about herself, not even her name,
This is ugly.
maybe you should stay well away from her and contemplate suicide like anyone else.
This is urging someone to suicide.
 
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steppenwolf

steppenwolf

Not a student
Oct 25, 2023
209
This is ugly.
No it isn't. What is ugly is talking on a suicide discussion forum about the hopes you hold for your latest abortive campaign of stalking a strange girl to see how far you can get with her this time.

This is urging someone to suicide.
No it isn't. It's resolving a potentially ugly situation by means of irony.
 
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victorisunlucky

victorisunlucky

Member
Dec 9, 2024
14
You introduce yourself and ask her name. Then she's a person and not just someone you're stalking. You volunteer basic information about yourself and ask basic questions like 'Where are you from?' You adapt your questions to things you seem to have in common. Then a conversation starts.

But what do you mean by 'getting your hopes up' and 'this is the farthest I've gotten on my own terms'? What exactly are you hoping for from this girl? How far do you expect to get on your 'own terms' and towards what exactly? And why would it make you 'super nervous'?

If you're so dishonest with yourself about what you want from this girl that you're too nervous to even ask her anything about herself, not even her name, maybe you should stay well away from her and contemplate suicide like anyone else.
Fellas is it stalking to have a class crush? Also, im not going to talk about every single little interaction ive had with this girl on a suicide forum, you're implying things that just are not true. You've been out of the game for 20 years, I don't want advice from you, why even post in the recovery subforum?
 

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rainwillneverstop

rainwillneverstop

Global Mod | Serious Health Hazard
Jul 12, 2022
443
No it isn't. What is ugly is talking on a suicide discussion forum about the hopes you hold for your latest abortive campaign of stalking a strange girl to see how far you can get with her this time.


No it isn't. It's resolving a potentially ugly situation by means of irony.

Please keep in mind this is the recovery sub forum.
 
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Dot

Dot

Info abt typng styl on prfle.
Sep 26, 2021
3,082
Fellas is it stalking to have a class crush? Also, im not going to talk about every single little interaction ive had with this girl on a suicide forum, you're implying things that just are not true. You've been out of the game for 20 years, I don't want advice from you, why even post in the recovery subforum?

If n.ethng jst gttng t/ knw hr cn hlp buld ur confdnce in approachng womn in genrl

If nothng mre happns wth ths persn thn u knw tht u r capbl of startng convrsatns & u cn tke tht persnl progrss furthr nxt tme

= all a postve

Bt slf agree pssbly ask hr abt hr clsses & intrsts & u cn C whthr u hve n.ethng in commn frm thre
 
LivingDeadTGirl

LivingDeadTGirl

crawl on me, sink into me...
Feb 10, 2025
70
Hey, OP, let me give you advice. Don't put this girl up too high on a pedestal. A lot of girls are just nice and it could look like they're interested when they're really truly just being nice. Only way to know is to ask them out for dinner. If they decline, move on fast. Chances are high they're not into you like that and you will only ever be their friend. You'll get better at it. Do it while you're young.

Also, what Steppenwolf said, and continues to say, is revolting. And while the mods deleted some of his comments, I would prefer to see a temp ban or mute. We have enough toxicity in our lives as it is.
 
itbelikethat

itbelikethat

Member
Feb 6, 2025
24
I'm happy for you op, I truly am. These feelings are just so wonderful and nice.

But be warned, ive been down this road, twice. You need to assess yourself, do you feel as though you can handle rejection? Do you feel as though you can be fine if things don't work out? If so then go for it, and make sure you keep your head up high and be respectful no matter what happens.

You should be aware of the affects this could have on your mental health, and hers.

Either way I wish you luck.
 

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