i just wanted to say, i've been browsing these forums for so long. i made an account to try to figure out how to do it. my pmdd really hurt me, i was suicidal fot at least a week out of every month. everything was so wrong. i couldn't live anymore, and i was so close to committing. something changed. i started a new birth control (depo provera, it has it's own insane side effects so please research before considering), and lamictal. around a week after i started with only 25mg of lamictal and the new birth control, everything changed. i suddenly felt lighter, and never felt the urge to hurt myself. i felt happy, i still kinda do. life is boring, i don't have much going on and don't really have any friendships but jesus, everything changed. i have stopped getting my period, my ovaries have basically shut down, and that has literally saved my life. i really pray i will never have to get my period again, because my period was really the only thing making me suicidal now i realize. life feels hopeful. im still figuring out what i want to do, but at least im figuring out my future life plans rather than future death plans. fuck my ovaries.
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I have my ups and downs too. Especially when we are down everything's just seems so boring. Ughhhhhhhh it's aggravating.
seriously. i am feeling so much better mentally but the boredom drives me absolutely insane. i am not getting depressed anymore with the new medications, but the boredom is the only thing that makes me sad at this point. it's so hard being happy and lonely at the same time.
I hate trying to sleep. I have been laying in bed for what must be over ten hours now. No show is entertaining, lately I feel like I'm playing games not because I enjoy them, but because that's just "what I do"
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