thedevillily
Member
- Apr 12, 2022
- 5
So lately, all I think about is suicide. Not how to improve my life, because that seems impossible. Not personal hygiene or doing dishes or laundry, just being dead and no longer having to worry about any of this shit.
Last night, I tried reaching out to my spouse for... I have no fucking idea what reason honestly, he's always been less than worthless whenever I try to talk about what I'm going through mental health wise. Being married to him is like being responsible for a toddler - just another useless baggage I have to do things for, not anyone I could ever talk to about anything serious.
I think a huge reason that I need to hurry up and just CTB already is because of the type of responses I get in the moments of weakness when I try to talk to someone about what is going on. Nothing shows you how amazingly vapid, useless and unconcerned the people around you are like trying to get help with a serious problem. His response was to bitch at me for not doing enough housework and for sleeping on the couch when I have insomnia.
Just wondering if anyone on here has ever gotten something resembling a helpful response when trying to talk about their feelings with people who are close to them. I think that you either understand the feeling of needing to die or you don't. And the people who don't get it are on the other side of a wall from us - they can't help. I don't even really want help, I'm just afraid to actually pull the trigger. Should probably shut up before I end up in a hospital.
Last night, I tried reaching out to my spouse for... I have no fucking idea what reason honestly, he's always been less than worthless whenever I try to talk about what I'm going through mental health wise. Being married to him is like being responsible for a toddler - just another useless baggage I have to do things for, not anyone I could ever talk to about anything serious.
I think a huge reason that I need to hurry up and just CTB already is because of the type of responses I get in the moments of weakness when I try to talk to someone about what is going on. Nothing shows you how amazingly vapid, useless and unconcerned the people around you are like trying to get help with a serious problem. His response was to bitch at me for not doing enough housework and for sleeping on the couch when I have insomnia.
Just wondering if anyone on here has ever gotten something resembling a helpful response when trying to talk about their feelings with people who are close to them. I think that you either understand the feeling of needing to die or you don't. And the people who don't get it are on the other side of a wall from us - they can't help. I don't even really want help, I'm just afraid to actually pull the trigger. Should probably shut up before I end up in a hospital.