Help Have you ever felt the pain of being manipulated?

[stormrOzzy]

I really liked a person to the point of always trying my best for her.
So that person manipulated me for 4 years, lied all the time and managed to make me believe that I was in the best relationship in the world. She showed me to be a kind of person, and I loved that person she showed.
Today I see her with another guy and even with her friends and I think "Who are you?" I learned that no matter how long you stay next to someone (friend, boyfriend etc.) the person may be someone you have never met .. just like this girl is ....
I see her and I always think "I've never met you" She's totally another person with them and I feel muggy and useless for being cheated for 4 years.


Have you been through something like that? What did you do to make the pain go away?

 

[andy69]

I know.

I really liked a person to the point of always trying my best for her.
So that person manipulated me for 4 years, lied all the time and managed to make me believe that I was in the best relationship in the world. She showed me to be a kind of person, and I loved that person she showed.
Today I see her with another guy and even with her friends and I think "Who are you?" I learned that no matter how long you stay next to someone (friend, boyfriend etc.) the person may be someone you have never met .. just like this girl is ....
I see her and I always think "I've never met you" She's totally another person with them and I feel muggy and useless for being cheated for 4 years.


Have you been through something like that? What did you do to make the pain go away?

I am going through this now. My partner of fifteen left me all the sudden because he found someone else. I didn't even try to tell. He ghosted me for two weeks until I finally was able to get him to answer the phone. I feel like our whole relationship meant nothing to him.

I am in so much pain over it. The only thing I can do is to end my life. I am forty-nine and can't start over again.

 

[feral]

yeah for two years up until a couple months ago by someone i trusted w basically everything. pretended to have DID and trauma so they could get closer to me. after i cut them off they were like "oh i never cared about him anyways, i actually hated him"

 

[kolski]

I feel you. I wasn't in the relationship long, but he was one of the most controlling people I've ever met. He made me feel guilty for saying no when I was uncomfortable and would try his hardest to make me see him as the best thing to happen to me.. It feels like I've lost a piece of life to someone who wanted no more then for me to be an object to service his needs. It makes me so angry and sad that he used me like that and how he now calls me the toxic person when it was him being the abusive one.

 

[not_a_robot]

in horrible ways, yes. I pretty much always know it too.

 

[Final Escape]

I really liked a person to the point of always trying my best for her.
So that person manipulated me for 4 years, lied all the time and managed to make me believe that I was in the best relationship in the world. She showed me to be a kind of person, and I loved that person she showed.
Today I see her with another guy and even with her friends and I think "Who are you?" I learned that no matter how long you stay next to someone (friend, boyfriend etc.) the person may be someone you have never met .. just like this girl is ....
I see her and I always think "I've never met you" She's totally another person with them and I feel muggy and useless for being cheated for 4 years.


Have you been through something like that? What did you do to make the pain go away?

I tended to figure it out fairly quickly when someone was dangerous or manipulative. I still wasted time with guys I shouldn't have but I would manage to get away eventually. I had broken picker and gave my best years to the wrong guys but I do think not having had a father present in my formative years also predisposed me to this. I'm not sure that picking the right guy would have helped though. Not without some type of therapy before attempting to get into a relationship again. I always attached to narcissists, psychopaths, or borderline men lol! That was my first model for attachment. So it's like ingrained and difficult to try to fix. It might not be fixable.

 

[Manaaja]

Yes. So many people. I'll tell you something. Most people are extremely trans and homophobic, they just will never admit it, and maybe they don't even realize it. When you tell them you're trans and non-hetero, they tell you they'll always love you and support you no matter what. But behind your back they repeat "But look at their genitals, genitals, genitals!" and do everything in their power so you wouldn't obtain hormones and surgeries, and try to subtly force you back into "your correct sex" by bying tons of "correct" clothes and misgendering you "accidentally". And when you announce that you have a crush on a same sex person, they congratulate you and wish you the best, and say "Man or woman, it doesn't matter. Love is love.", but then a week later each and every one of them "knows" that your crush "is actually a drug dealer and gang member and and kicks puppies". Funny, huh.

 

[Conflicted Cat]

Yeah... My brother, he only seems to come over when he wants something from me. Especially money. And then he'll game with me for like 15 minutes just so he can say, "i'M nOt JuSt CoMiNg OvEr WhEn I wAnT sOmEtHiNg FrOm yOu! wE wErE pLaYiNg ThE gAmE tOgEtHeR, i WaNtEd To SpEnD tImE wItH yOu!"

The fucker still owes me 800 bucks. I've paid for some of HIS shit... When he needs money, he won't stop going ON AND ON AND ON ABOUT IT, and even guilt tripping me until I give in. OOOH, and I fucking HATE it when he does this: He'll also sit there and prance around the idea that he needs money for something, sighing, and saying shit like "I'm so X. I got no X. I need Y. I don't know what I'm gonna do". And any slight noise I make he pipes up and says something to try get a response out of me for what he just said. He always says he'll pay me back on X day, then the day comes, and he either 1, gives a small amount, or 2, gives a reasonable amount, and then comes back 2 days later wanting the majority of it back to pay for something important. And it's hard to say no at that point, because it's something important and he's my fucking brother, but I don't even know anymore.

 

[Severen]

I really liked a person to the point of always trying my best for her.
So that person manipulated me for 4 years, lied all the time and managed to make me believe that I was in the best relationship in the world. She showed me to be a kind of person, and I loved that person she showed.
Today I see her with another guy and even with her friends and I think "Who are you?" I learned that no matter how long you stay next to someone (friend, boyfriend etc.) the person may be someone you have never met .. just like this girl is ....
I see her and I always think "I've never met you" She's totally another person with them and I feel muggy and useless for being cheated for 4 years.


Have you been through something like that? What did you do to make the pain go away?

Yes, my ex girlfriend is like that because she is a sociopath. Fortunately she couldn't screw me over that much, because I've always been cautious around people due to the lessons I learned when I was a child and a teen so I would always watch her very carefully. For me, being betrayed by her caused me to experience pain 24/7 for many years. But then sooner or later, I became dead inside from life... Because eventually your brain reaches a point where it can't take anymore pain and suffering and kind of shuts down. Then you don't care anymore. And if I saw her today, I'd probably feel nothing or laugh at her for being a fool. Because people like her, ultimately end up living a nightmarish existence because they destroy everything good in their lives on their never ending quest for power, status, excitement etc.

 

[PatKat]

I really liked a person to the point of always trying my best for her.
So that person manipulated me for 4 years, lied all the time and managed to make me believe that I was in the best relationship in the world. She showed me to be a kind of person, and I loved that person she showed.
Today I see her with another guy and even with her friends and I think "Who are you?" I learned that no matter how long you stay next to someone (friend, boyfriend etc.) the person may be someone you have never met .. just like this girl is ....
I see her and I always think "I've never met you" She's totally another person with them and I feel muggy and useless for being cheated for 4 years.


Have you been through something like that? What did you do to make the pain go away?

This is part of the reason I do not include myself in this world, people are not nice. Especially to the disabled. For example last time I flew somewhere everyone just walked by this 80ish year old lady and wouldnt help her put her carryon in the overhead bin. I stopped, and helped her and the people behind me acted like I was holding them up. I mean you are just going to sit in a seat for hours what is the hurry? The disabled are treated so poorly, that even our President laughs at them. I feel we are sliding backwards as a country and not moving forward anymore. Here is Trump mocking a disabled reporter -

He apologized afterward for this, but he still did this... he was forced to apologize not like he wanted to. This is the leader of this country really? Check into how many ADA claims have been filed against him over the years as well.

 

[Severen]

This is part of the reason I do not include myself in this world, people are not nice. Especially to the disabled. For example last time I flew somewhere everyone just walked by this 80ish year old lady and wouldnt help her put her carryon in the overhead bin. I stopped, and helped her and the people behind me acted like I was holding them up. I mean you are just going to sit in a seat for hours what is the hurry? The disabled are treated so poorly, that even our President laughs at them. I feel we are sliding backwards as a country and not moving forward anymore. Here is Trump mocking a disabled reporter -

Yeah, it's so awesome that the president of one of the most powerful countries in the world, laughs at disabled people and sees someone like John McCain as a worthless coward for being captured in Vietnam even though John McCain could have easily avoided fighting in the war. /S

 

[PatKat]

Yeah, it's so awesome that the president of one of the most powerful countries in the world, laughs at disabled people and sees someone like John McCain as a worthless coward for being captured in Vietnam. /S

If our "leader" does this what do you think that does to the disabled. It pushes them into the ground. I feel bad for every disabled person living in America. It's not like we can leave we are disabled. We are stuck to be tortured by our government and they laugh at us. Over 11,000 people a year in the United States dies waiting for SSDI/SSI. This number is rising each year the system is flawed it benefits the government not us at all. :(

 

[Severen]

What u look like? lol

What do you mean?

 

[sadgirl2002]

My so-called best friend since year 7 manipulated me a few months ago into travelling to the US with her to stay there. She was my sister to me, we've had a long history since high school. We went to college after school after taking a gap year because I couldn't handle sixth form alone. She met some guy online back in high school I think and she only told me when we were in college. He was much older than her. I didn't think much of it. They were friends at first and then in college, she told me he's her boyfriend and all. An incident happened to me later that year because of her which drove me to suicide but instead of blaming her, I put the blame on myself. I still do. The whole of last year was the worst. I was going to ctb in August 2018 but I didn't because of a stupid reason.

Anyway, I regret not ending my life back then because after that, she kept saying that she has to go to the US because she needs to be with him and that she can't stay here in the UK anymore. She was making me go with her and used a reason against me to make me go with her. I went along with it until I went downhill again in mid-October. Started cutting again after being clean for 5 years. Binged and purged every meal for the whole of November.

Then came the date of the flight. 8th of December. I still remember the feeling. I didn't want to go. I told her so many times that I didn't. She was so selfish and didn't care about my feelings. She said things like she will commit suicide if I don't go with her. She even said "took the first pill, here comes the second one" but I knew she was lying. It's bad but my voice in my head said "just commit suicide". She was never going to commit suicide, she was just emotionally blackmailing me. I'm a horrible person for thinking that but I just couldn't take her dominance over me. She was even telling me to go to her bank, take her passport and passbook and get her money out. I was covering my face back then and I told her what if they ask to remove it and they see I'm not you and they call the police and I go to jail, she just kept saying that it won't happen and that I was being silly. She clearly didn't give a shit. I did horrible things, I had to take my mother's money and transfer it to her because she said we needed it to live there. She was using me and I knew it which is why I even suggested that she goes and I stay here. She was really adamant on making me go with her and said that if I don't go, then she won't either and will commit suicide.

I still remember dreading it, it was 4am and I was getting ready for a flight that I didn't even want to go on. Just when I had to leave, inside my heart I hoped that something will stop us from going. We got in the cab and we were at Heathrow airport. Just when she was throwing my things since my suitcase was overweight, the police were there and asked for our passports. We were reported missing by our parents, we had to sit and be interrogated from 8am until 6pm. I wasn't allowed to go home so I had to stay at my aunt's house.

Oh, just to add. The police took our phones and it seems that the older "boyfriend" of hers was part of a sex ring or something. I still can't believe it when my family told me after the police told them. I don't know who to trust anymore, they told me that my so-called friend was leading me in a dangerous path. I'm still waiting for the police to close the case so they can tell me everything since it's still hard to believe.

Sorry for the long post, I instantly thought of this incident when I saw the title. The severe anger and distress is still there and it'll never seem to go away. To make the pain go away, I'll end my life soon.

 

[Severen]

My so-called best friend since year 7 manipulated me a few months ago into travelling to the US with her to stay there. She was my sister to me, we've had a long history since high school. We went to college after school after taking a gap year because I couldn't handle sixth form alone. She met some guy online back in high school I think and she only told me when we were in college. He was much older than her. I didn't think much of it. They were friends at first and then in college, she told me he's her boyfriend and all. An incident happened to me later that year because of her which drove me to suicide but instead of blaming her, I put the blame on myself. I still do. The whole of last year was the worst. I was going to ctb in August 2018 but I didn't because of a stupid reason.

Anyway, I regret not ending my life back then because after that, she kept saying that she has to go to the US because she needs to be with him and that she can't stay here in the UK anymore. She was making me go with her and used a reason against me to make me go with her. I went along with it until I went downhill again in mid-October. Started cutting again after being clean for 5 years. Binged and purged every meal for the whole of November.

Then came the date of the flight. 8th of December. I still remember the feeling. I didn't want to go. I told her so many times that I didn't. She was so selfish and didn't care about my feelings. She said things like she will commit suicide if I don't go with her. She even said "took the first pill, here comes the second one" but I knew she was lying. It's bad but my voice in my head said "just commit suicide". She was never going to commit suicide, she was just emotionally blackmailing me. I'm a horrible person for thinking that but I just couldn't take her dominance over me. She was even telling me to go to her bank, take her passport and passbook and get her money out. I was covering my face back then and I told her what if they ask to remove it and they see I'm not you and they call the police and I go to jail, she just kept saying that it won't happen and that I was being silly. She clearly didn't give a shit. I did horrible things, I had to take my mother's money and transfer it to her because she said we needed it to live there. She was using me and I knew it which is why I even suggested that she goes and I stay here. She was really adamant on making me go with her and said that if I don't go, then she won't either and will commit suicide.

I still remember dreading it, it was 4am and I was getting ready for a flight that I didn't even want to go on. Just when I had to leave, inside my heart I hoped that something will stop us from going. We got in the cab and we were at Heathrow airport. Just when she was throwing my things since my suitcase was overweight, the police were there and asked for our passports. We were reported missing by our parents, we had to sit and be interrogated from 8am until 6pm. I wasn't allowed to go home so I had to stay at my aunt's house.

Oh, just to add. The police took our phones and it seems that the older "boyfriend" of hers was part of a sex ring or something. I still can't believe it when my family told me after the police told them. I don't know who's to trust anymore, they told me that my so-called friend was leading me in a dangerous path.

Sorry for the long post, I instantly thought of this incident when I saw the title. The severe anger and distress is still there and it'll never seem to go away.

Holy fucking shit. Your "best friend" was trying to sell you as a sex slave. The dumb bitch, probably thought she was going to get a cut of the profits but she was probably going to get sold too.

 

[sadgirl2002]

Holy fucking shit. Your "best friend" was trying to sell you as a sex slave.

It's still so hard to believe. My family said maybe she didn't even know herself but even if she didn't, she still ruined my life two years ago. I still remember, I saw her changing. Saying things she never said before and doing things that she would never have done before. I knew the girl since I was 12. I even said that the old her would never say or do those things and she said she would have and that I didn't know her. In fact, I knew her more than her own self. We had such a strong bond to the extent that we couldn't even live or function without each other. She wanted to marry that guy and she was getting more and more adamant. Sometimes I would think "what happened to you?".

 

[Severen]

It's still so hard to believe. My family said maybe she didn't even know herself but even if she didn't, she still ruined my life two years ago. I still remember, I saw her changing. Saying things she never said before and doing things that she would never have done before. I knew the girl since I was 12. I even said that the old her would never say or do those things and she said she would have and that I didn't know her. In fact, I knew her more than her own self. We had such a strong bond to the extent that we couldn't even live or function without each other. She wanted to marry that guy and she was getting more and more adamant. Sometimes I would think "what happened to you?".

Sounds like the classic case of a sociopath manipulating stupid people to do his bidding. But I wouldn't say she is a innocent victim...

 

[sadgirl2002]

Sounds like the classic case of a sociopath manipulating stupid people to do his bidding. But I wouldn't say she is a innocent victim...

Like the guy, his facebook profile really doesn't make him look anything like that. He's "famous" apparently, he lives in San Diego, California. He has his family members added and he doesn't look like a predator. It's all so scary and confusing. Ugh, I just wish I died before...

Don't get me wrong, maybe I was naive but growing up, I was actually smart and cautious. Yet, for some reason I fell into all of this. I guess I could never say no to her except for that flight incident, of course. I just can't believe she out of all people would do this to me but then... she wanted to marry him so she was probably stupid.

 

[Severen]

Like the guy, his facebook profile really doesn't make him look anything like that. He's "famous" apparently, he lives in San Diego, California. He has his family members added and he doesn't look like a predator. It's all so scary and confusing. Ugh, I just wish I died before...

Don't get me wrong, maybe I was naive but growing up, I was actually smart and cautious. Yet, for some reason I fell into all of this. I guess I could never say no to her except for that flight incident, of course. I just can't believe she out of all people would do this to me but then... she wanted to marry him so she was probably stupid.

Women always think the "bad boys" are really the dangerous guys... But those guys are just the ones who are insecure and trying to look tough. And maybe did some stupid shit to get them time in jail or prison. The most dangerous guys I've met in my life, looked like really nice and normal guys. Because they want people to lower their guard as much as possible. They have no desire to impress anyone. They just want to get what they need or desire from people... Trust me, I'm kind of like a borderline sociopath so a lot of these guys always wanted to become friends with me because they felt comfortable around me. Because I would find a lot of the horrible shit they did, amusing due to my sadistic side and instead of judging them, I would laugh my ass off instead. But eventually, I found them too evil for my tastes and left that social circle.

 

[sadgirl2002]

Women always think the "bad boys" are really the dangerous guys... But those guys are just the ones who are insecure and trying to look tough. And maybe did some stupid shit to get them time in jail or prison. The most dangerous guys I've met in my life, looked like really nice and normal guys.

That's true aswell, looks are deceiving. I'm just glad I never spoke to him a lot, I only did whenever she kept pestering me to. Judging by his facebook, it looks like he hasn't been caught yet.

 

[Severen]

That's true aswell, looks are deceiving. I'm just glad I never spoke to him a lot, I only did whenever she kept pestering me to. Judging by his facebook, it looks like he hasn't been caught yet.

Well the most dangerous guys, never let themselves get caught, either.

 

[WinterIsComing]

Politicians are clowns playing games in order to get the prize.
I mean congressmans in my country sleep in their work or just be absent. Some of them even complain about their salary being too low.
Recently a former president did suicide with a revolver when he was investigated for recieving money and favor enterprises.

And then you have someone like Maduro who eat at Salt bae turkish restaurant.
Sometimes is puzzling how people still defend democracy and don't start another system or something(when in reality is not a real democracy) ugh.
More liers and manipulators? Influencers...

Then you have "normal" people like friends, family that do the same .

Anyways..... Complaints

 

[Severen]

That's true aswell, looks are deceiving. I'm just glad I never spoke to him a lot, I only did whenever she kept pestering me to. Judging by his facebook, it looks like he hasn't been caught yet.

That's why I'm most comfortable around men, who just act like a bunch of dumb violent thugs. Because you know what to expect. You can always be 1 step ahead. Predict every move they make. I don't like quiet and nice people. They are usually hiding some shit. Same when it comes to women, as well. Because being nice and quiet is not fucking natural. If you piss someone off, they shouldn't be smiling or staying calm. That just means, you are dealing with a cold calculating monster behind a mask who will eviscerate your life later on when you lower your guard. And the more emotional someone is, the more mistakes they make and you can take advantage of that. One of my ex girlfriends, told me, she would test guys by intentionally pissing them off all the time and studying their reactions. If they act calm, laid back all the time etc, then there is something wrong with them... Because a normal guy would get pissed off and be like "FUCK YOU BITCH!" and walk away because they don't have some secret agenda, like selling you a woman into slavery or scamming her out of something etc... Smart woman.

 

[stormrOzzy]

Yes. So many people. I'll tell you something. Most people are extremely trans and homophobic, they just will never admit it, and maybe they don't even realize it. When you tell them you're trans and non-hetero, they tell you they'll always love you and support you no matter what. But behind your back they repeat "But look at their genitals, genitals, genitals!" and do everything in their power so you wouldn't obtain hormones and surgeries, and try to subtly force you back into "your correct sex" by bying tons of "correct" clothes and misgendering you "accidentally". And when you announce that you have a crush on a same sex person, they congratulate you and wish you the best, and say "Man or woman, it doesn't matter. Love is love.", but then a week later each and every one of them "knows" that your crush "is actually a drug dealer and gang member and and kicks puppies". Funny, huh.

I'm trans and I go through this! People never really support you.

Yes, my ex girlfriend is like that because she is a sociopath. Fortunately she couldn't screw me over that much, because I've always been cautious around people due to the lessons I learned when I was a child and a teen so I would always watch her very carefully. For me, being betrayed by her caused me to experience pain 24/7 for many years. But then sooner or later, I became dead inside from life... Because eventually your brain reaches a point where it can't take anymore pain and suffering and kind of shuts down. Then you don't care anymore. And if I saw her today, I'd probably feel nothing or laugh at her for being a fool. Because people like her, ultimately end up living a nightmarish existence because they destroy everything good in their lives on their never ending quest for power, status, excitement etc.

I'm slowly getting disconnected, tired of so much pain and suffering. At the moment I still feel pain for being such a fool, but it's something I'm trying to solve with my brain. I want one day to look at her and smile at the person she is. You understand me.

My so-called best friend since year 7 manipulated me a few months ago into travelling to the US with her to stay there. She was my sister to me, we've had a long history since high school. We went to college after school after taking a gap year because I couldn't handle sixth form alone. She met some guy online back in high school I think and she only told me when we were in college. He was much older than her. I didn't think much of it. They were friends at first and then in college, she told me he's her boyfriend and all. An incident happened to me later that year because of her which drove me to suicide but instead of blaming her, I put the blame on myself. I still do. The whole of last year was the worst. I was going to ctb in August 2018 but I didn't because of a stupid reason.

Anyway, I regret not ending my life back then because after that, she kept saying that she has to go to the US because she needs to be with him and that she can't stay here in the UK anymore. She was making me go with her and used a reason against me to make me go with her. I went along with it until I went downhill again in mid-October. Started cutting again after being clean for 5 years. Binged and purged every meal for the whole of November.

Then came the date of the flight. 8th of December. I still remember the feeling. I didn't want to go. I told her so many times that I didn't. She was so selfish and didn't care about my feelings. She said things like she will commit suicide if I don't go with her. She even said "took the first pill, here comes the second one" but I knew she was lying. It's bad but my voice in my head said "just commit suicide". She was never going to commit suicide, she was just emotionally blackmailing me. I'm a horrible person for thinking that but I just couldn't take her dominance over me. She was even telling me to go to her bank, take her passport and passbook and get her money out. I was covering my face back then and I told her what if they ask to remove it and they see I'm not you and they call the police and I go to jail, she just kept saying that it won't happen and that I was being silly. She clearly didn't give a shit. I did horrible things, I had to take my mother's money and transfer it to her because she said we needed it to live there. She was using me and I knew it which is why I even suggested that she goes and I stay here. She was really adamant on making me go with her and said that if I don't go, then she won't either and will commit suicide.

I still remember dreading it, it was 4am and I was getting ready for a flight that I didn't even want to go on. Just when I had to leave, inside my heart I hoped that something will stop us from going. We got in the cab and we were at Heathrow airport. Just when she was throwing my things since my suitcase was overweight, the police were there and asked for our passports. We were reported missing by our parents, we had to sit and be interrogated from 8am until 6pm. I wasn't allowed to go home so I had to stay at my aunt's house.

Oh, just to add. The police took our phones and it seems that the older "boyfriend" of hers was part of a sex ring or something. I still can't believe it when my family told me after the police told them. I don't know who to trust anymore, they told me that my so-called friend was leading me in a dangerous path. I'm still waiting for the police to close the case so they can tell me everything since it's still hard to believe.

Sorry for the long post, I instantly thought of this incident when I saw the title. The severe anger and distress is still there and it'll never seem to go away. To make the pain go away, I'll end my life soon.

That's what I said, we can spend the rest of our lives next to a person but we will never know her! This person saw you grow up and totally knew how good you were with her and took advantage of it. She did not get what she wanted and still good because today you're here. The rule of life is this, we can not trust 100 in anyone,
we have to always be smarter than the other. I wish I could say that this pain is fleeting, but I have no words to make you well:
Just believe it ... we're strong! And everyone here is a warrior people.

That's why I'm most comfortable around men, who just act like a bunch of dumb violent thugs. Because you know what to expect. You can always be 1 step ahead. Predict every move they make. I don't like quiet and nice people. They are usually hiding some shit. Same when it comes to women, as well. Because being nice and quiet is not fucking natural. If you piss someone off, they shouldn't be smiling or staying calm. That just means, you are dealing with a cold calculating monster behind a mask who will eviscerate your life later on when you lower your guard. And the more emotional someone is, the more mistakes they make and you can take advantage of that. One of my ex girlfriends, told me, she would test guys by intentionally pissing them off all the time and studying their reactions. If they act calm, laid back all the time etc, then there is something wrong with them... Because a normal guy would get pissed off and be like "FUCK YOU BITCH!" and walk away because they don't have some secret agenda, like selling you a woman into slavery or scamming her out of something etc... Smart woman.

I understand a lot what you're talking about, I think we're alike to some extent.

 

[Severen]

I'm trans and I go through this! People never really support you.



I'm slowly getting disconnected, tired of so much pain and suffering. At the moment I still feel pain for being such a fool, but it's something I'm trying to solve with my brain. I want one day to look at her and smile at the person she is. You understand me.


That's what I said, we can spend the rest of our lives next to a person but we will never know her! This person saw you grow up and totally knew how good you were with her and took advantage of it. She did not get what she wanted and still good because today you're here. The rule of life is this, we can not trust 100 in anyone,
we have to always be smarter than the other. I wish I could say that this pain is fleeting, but I have no words to make you well:
Just believe it ... we're strong! And everyone here is a warrior people.


I understand a lot what you're talking about, I think we're alike to some extent.

Sociopaths are cursed in life. And they don't even know this. Their brains are literally incapable of processing this fact. These people are mentally handicapped. Look at all the high ranking Nazis in Nazi Germany. If they weren't sociopaths, their lives would have been 100000 times better. But because they were sociopaths, look at what happened to them. Their lives, really truly sucked ass. No real happiness, ever. Not even once. They can't even feel happiness. Just moments of satisfaction with every "victory" and every time they gained more power. And then in the end, they were forced to CTB with cyanide to avoid being tortured and executed because they made so many enemies who saw them as monsters from hell. Stalin's life was better than the lives of those high ranking Nazis but his life was still nothing but moments of satisfaction here and there, until he was dying one day and the doctor didn't do anything to save his life because nobody wanted him to survive. They are insecure little evil children, their entire lives, who can't stop trying to make themselves feel more powerful than everyone else and other than that, there is nothing else in their brain... And even the sociopaths who try to hide themselves from the world, will suffer a similar fate. Because eventually, people will figure out what they are... People can be fooled, but most people can not be fooled indefinitely. And a lot of people are extremely vindictive, even good people. Because sometimes, being vindictive means ensuring that justice is served. I'm glad, my father didn't break me down to the point of being a complete sociopath so I was at least able to live my life as a human being, sometimes...