I recommend everyone to watch real videos of murders, preferably in childhood, because this will erase illusions about the nature of life. Nature is a monster with bloody fangs and claws. When I was a child, I somehow got a video cassette like Faces of Death, recordings of real murders - for example, a live tied up pig is scorched with a blowtorch, it squeals, layers of meat come off layer by layer, but it still squeals. Or hunting for a living person, when he is caught, his penis is cut off and stuffed into his mouth, while he is still alive. After this, stories about how there is something good in life that is worth living, you perceive as the ravings of a madman.
For example, here is a video of Russian soldiers in beating a living man with a sledgehammer and cutting off his head. It's right one-on-one like David Attenborough's BBC wildlife documentaries.