carys

carys

Member
Jan 25, 2019
28
I was put into a mental health hospital once because I was very suicidal and I was seen as a danger to myself so they thought it was best to keep me supervised. I was surprisingly allowed to have my phone with me unlike other hospitals where they take your phone away from you as they know a patient is at risk of hurting themselves if they have any access to glass, which a phone screen has. However, I wasn't allowed any earrings, anything made out of glass such as perfume bottles, (Perfume also wasn't allowed because other patients there had asthma.) long wires or cables etc. I guess these are all very common rules that are usually set out in the psych ward.
 
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JadedGray

JadedGray

Life Eternal
Jul 24, 2018
991
I've been about 6 times (3 as a youth and 3 as an adult). The times as a teenager weren't too bad. Most of the staff and doctors seemed to care and be sympathetic. As an adult, it was hell. Most of the staff treated the patients like dirt and the doctors didn't give a damn. In both circumstances there was never anything to do except sit in front of a television all day. It was pretty much a holding cell to make sure you wouldn't be able to commit suicide. It wasn't of any help. It was actually better to talk with the other patients than to any of the staff and doctors.
 
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Meretlein

Meretlein

Moderator
Feb 15, 2019
1,199
My stay gave me PTSD and was the catalyst for my suicide. Worst event of my life.
 
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Psychotic King

Psychotic King

Failure
Apr 18, 2019
31
After a psychosis years ago, I was in a psychiatric ward / care. I mean we got two of those kinds in my country, "open" ones and "closed" ones. The closed one, you cant even shave alone, there are guards, it's strict and incredibly boring, cant go outside, gotta go asleep at 10, no phones allowed (at least those that have a camera and modern ones all do) and has a "heavy" atmosphere. Felt even absurd at the times. There was a TV room there, smoking room and some books. Not much to do really. I was here fortunately only for couple of weeks

The "open" one is different, it costs some amount a month, sometimes the country / city pays for it, you can even go outside, you can take your laptop, phone etc. with you, there were activities, everyone had some chores etc. Had a roommate here as well in the open one. I was here for 5 months

Now, the experience itself varied. The closed one, the proper one in question I guess, was mind numbingly boring and hard to be as I had constant anxiety, those were some of the worst days in my life anyway. I didn't have a roommate for the first week but had for the second week. He was alright but seemed to be a pathological liar of some sort, had some crazy things to say all the time, ridiculous stories (although who knows, maybe some of them were true), some claims that just were completely wrong etc. It was strange.

I saw a girl there who's hands were constantly shaking. It was pretty sad to see at the cafeteria that her arms were full of scars, but they were all doing little zig zag as her hands were so unstable. She was a sad sight to see. There was another girl who seemingly seemed to be a friend of this one, she was quite social but troubled, sometimes she just started screaming at nights and usually the guard took her away for a while. I honestly got bit startled the first time she started screaming at the night as I had fallen asleep and I was very dizzy from the sleeping medication and suddenly I just heard screeching.

Like I said, it was very, very boring there and the atmosphere was pretty hopeless at the times.

The open one though was different, mostly fine, had some decent people / staff and had even movie nights couple of times a month or so. But truth to be told, I am not sure if this really counts as a psychiatric ward / hospital, I guess the first one was the one you were talking about
 
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_milo

_milo

Member
Mar 16, 2019
65
I've been admitted twice. I was even recognized by staff during my second visit. There were two different wards, stress and crisis. The latter being reserved for more severe patients. I was in the Stress ward for cutting on both admissions.

It was like you'd expect, everything you own is taken away and you're locked down in a hallway under constant 24/7 supervision from staff. Even what you eat is under scrutiny. I was forced to attend meaningless group therapy sessions that everyone only attended as they were mandatory in order to eventually leave. Yes, you're not allowed access to anything glass or even actual silverware. I liked to think of it as a prison without shoes. 0/10 I would leave a very bad Yelp review.
 
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secretforthemad

New Member
Jan 28, 2019
2
Twice, both times because I was considered high suicide risk, recognised by the staff the second time for being the 'sweetest girl who'd ever come through'. The first time was when I was diagnosed with major depression and put on antidepressants; have been on the same ones for 2 years now. So they're clearly doing a great job lmao.
Both stays were 5 days as only one youth inpatient ward in my city; rarely people stayed there longer than a week.
It was fine, I guess. We had to attend school, be up by certain times and in bed by certain times. At 14 the first time, I was one of the youngest there (most were nearly 18.) There was maybe 12 of us, all were nice but the talk was often of suicide, it was dismal and felt like a waiting bay - how I imagine a nursing home would feel. The nurses did little but watch us from their office and take our obs once a day. No shaving, phones, laptops, drugs, alcohol, outside food, outside books/journals, belts, shoelaces, cutlery etc. The rooms didn't have curtains, the beds were water beds and we were checked with a flashlight every 15 minutes (particularly me, because I was also anorexic risk and they wanted to check I wasn't exercising or throwing up. Didn't stop me though lol :P)
It kept me alive I guess. My family's happy about it, I can't say the same.
 
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J

Jolene40

Specialist
Oct 6, 2018
370
These places sound more likely to enduce suicide than prevent it.

Did anyone in the u.k see the recent documentary about the priory? Specifically, its adolescent mental health provision. All about the money. £500 a day profit on each inpatient. Yet not enough staff to safely protect anyone and rhe staff there were primarily incompetent morons.
 
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InkBlot

InkBlot

What Do You See?
Sep 17, 2018
162
Ive been 3 times, with memories of 2 of them.

I was 15, placed in an inpatient ward for 8 days for cutting. Clean, nice staff, I actually had fun with others my age.

September 2017 I was admitted to the hospital for being a drunk depressed individual on suicide watch. I sat in an ER for 2.5 days while a bed in the "overcrowded" ward was opened up. When I say "overcrowded" I'm using their words, there were 7 people there. And there were 3 staff members present at all times...usually you see 1 staff to 5 patients. I couldn't even bathroom without someone in there. Then I got moved upstairs. I was given clothes and went to bed. Next day, I saw a doctor who was bored of me, kept telling me to hurry up and checking his watch despite asking me for a story of the last 3 days or so. I told him I had a job, and needed out asap to keep it. "You're making excuses and being uncompliant, we're gonna hold you longer now. " Suicide usually gets you 72 hours involuntary holding, but I wasnt so lucky. Walked out of there and tried to go to my room, but the nurse asked me why I was showing anti-social behaviors, and being so uncompliant to their treatment schedule. Which was really just sitting in front of a tv while nursing students told us our problems were our own fault. See, the ward was also used to train nurses on tests, etc. One student learned how to hook me up to test my heart. She did it three times to get it perfect. My bill showed me 3x equipment usage for the test. 45$ each for a student's learning experience.

Everyone but me was a recovering addict. Some were so bad they'd bounce into every psych ward for the stability and free Xanax.

After 4 days, (1 being added on for uncompliant behavior: needing out so I didnt lose my job) I was released and treated as if I was cured. I was told my newfound depression free life would spread joy to others. I dont see how TV, condescending nursing students and 3 kinds of anti depressants would fix my life in 4 days time. A month later I got a bill for around 20,000$. Screw the system.
 
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Deadgirl

Deadgirl

Game Over
Mar 31, 2019
215
The first time i was admitted was at 14 for having intense suicidal thoughts and self harm. The patients were nice and so were the staff. I was admitted again at 16 for an actual attempt that's when it got ugly. I got into fights with the staff and ended up restrained and shot for the first time. I got readmitted a week after discharge for being a danger to myself, this was the worst admission. I hated the patients and staff. The most disturbing thing that happened was that i got sexually assulted by a patient my third admission, the staff didn't care and blamed me. I pretty much was in and out of these places from 16-18. At 17 i also went to an eating disorder "treatment facility". All they did was punish us not treat us. It did the saddest thing to this poor 12 year old girl. You could tell by her eyes she wanted to ctb.
 
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EddieAllenPoe

EddieAllenPoe

Specialist
Mar 19, 2019
304
Yeah. When I was about 22ish I was involuntarily committed because I was severely suicidal. I can't remember specifically what I did that landed me there but my mood and behavior was definitely out of control. I was an emotional mess at the time and I often felt severely depressed. I know now my depression was more like a bipolar type of depression because my mood tended to go through cycles. That wasn't obvious at the time though because it felt like I was spending most of my time simply feeling horribly depressed. I did have plenty of reasons to be depressed. I broke up with my girlfriend at the time that I had been with for almost 5 years. I failed out of college. I had no money and no job. Add to that a horrible black cloud of depression that followed me everywhere and it felt like the obvious solution was to simply kill myself. Looking back, I probably also had some borderline personality characteristics because my thinking tended to be very black and white.

Thankfully, I had some pretty good intervention in my life because I got better at managing my behavior. I don't really feel like it was the psychiatric hospitals, medicine, or psychologists that actually helped me get better though. I tend to look at them as having been there when I was at "the bottom end" of my own hell. The problem was it felt like they weren't helping me get out of my hell. It seemed more likely at the time that they were partially to blame for keeping there. If it wasn't for other people in my life that also helped me I probably would have never gotten better.

It was honestly my desire to get the fuck away from psychiatric hospitals that drove me to get better. I can't say this is the case for everybody but it was true for me. Most of the time my mood still cycled but I could manage it. I just had to learn little tricks to keep myself healthy. I slowly got off the 30 or so pills a day they had me on. I made real efforts to stay away from drugs and alcohol. I spent hours upon hours a day investigating self-help/motivational/religious/spiritual topics and books. I learned to date again. I made improvements to my diet and made efforts to exercise. I often made sure I stuck to a good sleep schedule. I even slowly got employed and became more financially independent. This was a long journey that didn't happen overnight. It was a process that happened over several years.

Fast forward almost 18 years and I recently found myself experiencing the symptoms of severe mania. Dammit. Turns out bipolar is real. I was wandering into restaurants and spending hours talking to random people. I stopped going to work and I was skipping sleep. My thinking was becoming highly irrational and I felt as if I was on a mission from God. I thought I was discovering hidden secrets of the universe. I don't know how to explain it. It was simply the classic symptoms of mania. I was "out there". My odd behavior eventually got noticed and I suddenly found myself being forced to go back into a psych ward. I was given antipsychotic medications there that helped me come "back down" to reality. It made me snap out of my delusions and I found myself in an unusual crisis. I will say I'm glad for the psych hospital this time around. It turns out they aren't always bad. Mental health is just complicated. Anyways, I'll stop here. I tend to write novels when I only meant to write a paragraph.
 
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Cubashii

Cubashii

One second in Valhalla Is all I really would want.
Oct 22, 2018
144
I was kept 6 weeks in one for suicide. I was mad bout dad dying so every time they asked me if i was feeling better i would respond with fuck you till the finally told me i was never going home till i got better. So they gave me ECT treatments till I was a zombie. And the fuckin treatment didnt work so i have to have them again or I go back. Im on a watch right now where I have to call in on certain times to a case manager. It fuckin sucks.
 
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Egddios

Egddios

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
395
I've been inpatient a few times in different states; Rhode Island, New York, New Jersey and North Carolina.

In New York, after my first suicide attempt, I was taken to Bellevue Hospital which was a disgusting experience. The unit I was placed in was a big room with females on one side, males on the other. We ALL shared one shower, which was grimy to say the least. Patients were given paper towels to dry themselves off with after showering. My room was more like an observation tank; one wall was basically a giant window so there was no privacy and I could be watched by staff and patients at all times. The room had one single bed placed in the center, and one slit of a window which looked out to the wall of another building. While I was at Bellevue, a young girl was brought in after hanging herself, and she died. Another man was handcuffed to a stretcher and bit another patients cheek partially off. When staff tried to intervene, the man swallowed the part of the cheek he managed to bite off.

In New Jersey, after my second suicide attempt about 2 years later, I was brought to Hoboken University Medical Center and placed in their psych unit. My roommate was a young girl, sweet and sort of quiet. A staff member sexually assaulted me on the 3rd day I was there, which crushed me obviously. All I kept thinking was as soon as I got released, I was making SURE I would successfully kill myself.

After the NJ experience, my husband at the time (we've since divorced), decided to bring me back to the state I grew up in - Rhode Island. Their psychiatric hospital was once a decent place which has gone far downhill in the last 3 years. The plus side of Butler Hospital in RI was the food - it was actually pretty good. The staff psychiatrists were a bunch of morons apart from one doctor who stood out amongst the rest. He was compassionate and actually took the time to listen and wasn't in a rush to get me out of the room. I ended up consenting to ECT treatment there, and the staff in the ECT "suite" as they call it, were super nice and understanding. All in all, Butler Hospital in RI has sadly gone down hill. I do NOT want to end up back in there. Days were long, though some patients were allowed outdoors times under heavy observation of course. There were some activities and I became friendly with some patients. Fights did break out, and many staff members seemed to be guided by archaic, out dated regulations and seemed overwhelmed and unable to properly care for the patients.

When I visited my sister in North Carolina, I had a massive panic attack which prompted a call to EMS and I eventually ended up in Holly Hills Hospital aka Holy Hell. What a place. Staff were incompetent and undertrained, patients were locked out of their rooms during the day, there were no activities but of course there was a TV, and if you were lucky enough to get outdoors time, it was on a patio with astroturf. Not even real grass. It was a hopeless place and I'd never go back there.

I'm 35, have PTSD, MDD and panic disorder. Mostly all the hospitalizations I've endured since my first attempt have exacerbated my mental health problems. I can't recommend going inpatient BUT...if you do find yourself in a psych hospital, be diligent about contacting a mental health advocate and know your rights. Speak up, demand to be treated with dignity and respect, call out incompetent staff members and take notes.

P.S. I've never been allowed a cell phone in the hospital and it boggles my mind when I read of others saying they were able to keep their phones.
 
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FaceOfSilence

FaceOfSilence

Shhhh...
Feb 24, 2019
40
5.5 weeks in a russian psych ward. Physical abuse, emotional abuse, somehow they expected me to feel better and go on to fix my life after that. Over 5 weeks i had 5 doctors (almost all of them went on a vacation right after i was assigned to them) and talked to them about 15 minutes in total, not counting morning check ups with formal greetings and telling that it's all okay. Naturally, there was barely any treatment, no care to speak of, simply locked up in there with no end in sight waiting for something, anything to happen.


You can complain all you want but noone cares, nurses are given full freedom (one old bitch told me that i will be raped at some point because of my longer hair) to do whatever the fuck they want, they punish people who are not content by injecting them with Haloperidol and turning them into zombies (there was one dude, a southerner, he got into a quarrel with the only actual doctor the psych ward had and from next day until my release all he would do i shamble around in silence)

The entire affair was just weird, disturbing and all it did was make me more afraid and damaged (especially the physical abuse part and threats)
 
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Juanro

Juanro

Member
Apr 23, 2019
7
Twice, right after trying to commit suicide with a shitload of pills and Vodka and going on a violent rampage.
Hospitalized against my will both times.
 
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Hotsackage

Enlightened
Mar 11, 2019
1,027
Twas a good experience. It's good if you need to rejuvenate yourself
 
BridgeJumper

BridgeJumper

The Arsonist
Apr 7, 2019
1,194
It was horrible, 2/10 dont reccomend. Forced injection of antipsychotics that gave me parkinsonism so bad I wanted to just hang myself on the doorknob because they wouldnt wean me off. The staff was mean and in some hospitals (not all) they abused me by beating me up.
The only upside is that I could check out of life for a while and that I met a lot of fellow suicidals with whom I have contact to this day
 

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