Discussion Have you ever been psychiatrically hospitalized? Did it help? Did it make things worse?

[bullfrog61]

I read somewhere that people who have been psychiatrically hospitalized before are, ironically, some of the biggest suicide risks.

I was hospitalized once a few years ago. I was 19. I told my therapist I was having suicidal thoughts, and he, moron that he was, told me that if I went to the hospital they'd help "connect me with resources." He wasn't trying to trick me, he genuinely thought that was what would happen, that they'd just welcome me with a smile, put me in touch with some people, and send me on my way. I rode my bike a mile to the hospital like a good obedient little boy and told the doctor I was having suicidal thoughts, and he immediately put me under a 72 hour hold, which essentially means that you have to be hospitalized for at least three business days no matter what. It was a really traumatizing experience knowing I'd just been stripped of all my rights and was about to be essentially legally kidnapped.

I was there for 3 or 4 days, they released me pretty fast because I was well behaved and seemed to "get better" fast. Looking back, I wasn't really doing that badly at the time, I just needed a break. It was pretty much a non-event. Didn't really change anything about my life.

The only thing is that I'll have to live the rest of my life with the shame of knowing I was hospitalized. Everyone struggles with mental health so much nowadays that it's practically trendy, but very few people actually get hospitalized for it, especially men, and I did. It's something I can hide from others, unlike the scars on my left arm, but it'll always be a fact about me that I'm deeply ashamed of. I will always have this stain on me setting me apart from the rest of the world. I was a fucking college student, none of my problems were real, and yet I just had to go and be all dramatic. It'll prevent me from doing something like joining the Peace Corps, if I ever decide to do that.

What's funny is that, if I'd just fucking snapped out of it and made better decisions when I was that age, I wouldn't be in the place I'm in now. Now, I really do want to die. And I'm not going to be telling any doctors about it.

 

[danny10]

I was hospitalized in 3 different hospitals between February 2024 and July 2024. Basically I was in hospital for 6 months. It was a horrible experience. I was constantly suicidal in those 6 months but couldn't do anything as I was locked away. They pretty much tried all the antidepressants and antipsychotics on me, none worked. Then they did 8 ECT treatments (electroshock to your brain) which only made things worse as my short term memory was impacted. So no, hospitals never helped my depression.

 

[trapdoor]

I was hospitalized after an attempt in July 2023, spent 7 days involuntary in a psych hospital. Right after I got out, I made the mistake of saying I still wanted to die, so they tried to send me back and I had a panic attack and cried until they let me sign an AMA. I was 18 at the time, and still lived with my parents, so they got pissed at me and told me I had to get some form of treatment, so I went for a long term inpatient for 30 days August-September of 2023. In March of 2024 I attempted again, but it failed, so I checked myself voluntarily into the same hospital from July '23 and stayed for 3 days. None of these inpatients did anything but make it worse, so. Idk.

 

[L'absent]

No, that's never happened to me. And I would have refused anyway. Here it is not mandatory after a suicide attempt, unless you keep saying that you want to commit suicide and start screaming or doing strange things. At that point there is a commission made up of a psychiatrist and a public doctor who decides on compulsory treatment by consulting the family and then ultimately the mayor must have the signature. These are rare exceptional cases.

 

[sximii]

I've been many times. For me it doesn't make it better or worse. There are moments when I feel somewhat safer in there, but not always. Generally it doesn't make me feel any change. Sometimes when I come back home, there's this feeling that everyone is pissed at me. My family and my house are very tense, so maybe that's just me coming back after not being in that tension for a couple weeks. I don't know.

 

[waterbaby100]

I found it to make me more suicidal and now I'm out (after going in voluntarily and then being told I couldn't leave) that I would prefer anything...even ctb before going back. That being said many people who I was in there with found it very helpful and made progress

 

[Rymrgand]

I have been, yes. My psychiatrist asked me if I wanted and I accepted. It was horrible. I didn't have therapy or any kind of help besides a psychiatrist who visited me a couple of times a week, and the nurses were mostly assholes. That place gave me the same vibes like my old home, with my abusive family, where my opinion didn't matter. Besides that, I was isolated from the real world, so I couldn't work in the relationships I was trying to create with potential friends, which would be one of the few things it could help me.

So yes, it made it worse.

 

[divinemistress36]

I cant remember I did ECT and memory wiped out

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I have been hospitalized 3 times. It didn't really help too much, but it didn't really make things worse either.

 

[Hollowman]

It made my mental state way worse. One night the idiot staff gave me the means to attempt, I wish it would've worked.

 

[3FailedAttemptss]

I've been stuck in a psych ward twice now (once in Japan and once in my home country. Was almost three times - failed CTB via train, cops were waiting a my home w/ orders to take me back to the ward, somehow I rolled a D20 charisma check and managed to avoid it.

I know I should be in a psych ward - I am a danger to myself. And while in hindsight I do fondly think of my time in the psych ward in Japan (the food was actually pretty good) I just can't get myself to admit myself to the psych ward again. I realized after my first CTB attempt and the subsequent unwilling admission to a ward - that the worst thing is just the removal of a way out. No longer having that sort of autonomy over my own existence just fucks with me. Though I wouldn't say my experiences have left any real negative impact - despite some of the staff obviously being well out of place in a psych ward and were quite rude.