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MorsVoluntaria
Member
- Dec 27, 2018
- 18
I'm currently a bit drunk right now, and I can't stop ruminating about my current relationship with my partner of about two years.
I found out last year, that he had been texting escorts/prostitutes, asking for their prices and locations. I confronted him about this, but he claimed that it was only "jerk-off" material to him, and that he'd never meet up with them. Still, I feel so betrayed and hurt. Stupidly, I continue to be with him, likely blinded by my "love" (obsession) and low self-esteem.
April and May of this year, we were on a break with our relationship, but we continued to see each other sexually. He later admitted that he had sex with an escort, and I also found on his OnlyFans, a video of him receiving a handjob from one of his female best friends when he went to visit her. She lives 9 hours away. I asked him before he met up with her if they were going to have sex because he told me before that she offered to have sex with him. He claimed that she said she was no longer interested. I had his location and noticed that he turned it off at certain points. He later admitted to me that they visited nudist/swinger resorts. He also posted on Reddit looking for local couples and swingers to meet with. He claimed he never had sex with her, but I somewhat doubt that.
When I admitted to him how hurt I was about these actions, he vehemently denied that he did nothing wrong because we were not officially together, which is true. But he did nothing to acknowledge my feelings, only defend himself. He continues to text escorts. We are currently long distance, but during a video call, he shared his screen and I saw he was messaging several other women. I asked him about it and he admitted that they were escorts, but he'd never meet with them. I have told him multiple times, how much him messaging escorts upsets me and affects my sense of self-worth, but he still continues.
Am I a fool for continuing to be with this man? I have tried to block him and leave him, but I always go back to him because he is my first relationship, and I don't have any friends or anyone to open up to outside of him. I'll also admit that I am autistic, so I am not the best at interpersonal relationships.
I honestly regret entering a relationship while mentally unwell. I remember the pain it brings me, much more than the loneliness it alleviated.
Has anyone else ever been cheated on? or been in similar situations? I want to hear other stories, to try to figure out what to do.
I found out last year, that he had been texting escorts/prostitutes, asking for their prices and locations. I confronted him about this, but he claimed that it was only "jerk-off" material to him, and that he'd never meet up with them. Still, I feel so betrayed and hurt. Stupidly, I continue to be with him, likely blinded by my "love" (obsession) and low self-esteem.
April and May of this year, we were on a break with our relationship, but we continued to see each other sexually. He later admitted that he had sex with an escort, and I also found on his OnlyFans, a video of him receiving a handjob from one of his female best friends when he went to visit her. She lives 9 hours away. I asked him before he met up with her if they were going to have sex because he told me before that she offered to have sex with him. He claimed that she said she was no longer interested. I had his location and noticed that he turned it off at certain points. He later admitted to me that they visited nudist/swinger resorts. He also posted on Reddit looking for local couples and swingers to meet with. He claimed he never had sex with her, but I somewhat doubt that.
When I admitted to him how hurt I was about these actions, he vehemently denied that he did nothing wrong because we were not officially together, which is true. But he did nothing to acknowledge my feelings, only defend himself. He continues to text escorts. We are currently long distance, but during a video call, he shared his screen and I saw he was messaging several other women. I asked him about it and he admitted that they were escorts, but he'd never meet with them. I have told him multiple times, how much him messaging escorts upsets me and affects my sense of self-worth, but he still continues.
Am I a fool for continuing to be with this man? I have tried to block him and leave him, but I always go back to him because he is my first relationship, and I don't have any friends or anyone to open up to outside of him. I'll also admit that I am autistic, so I am not the best at interpersonal relationships.
I honestly regret entering a relationship while mentally unwell. I remember the pain it brings me, much more than the loneliness it alleviated.
Has anyone else ever been cheated on? or been in similar situations? I want to hear other stories, to try to figure out what to do.
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