Have ya'll made friends here?

[CallmeWill4719]

The friendship thread. I know the nature of this site and all but yeah, I have talked to so many people on here for a good amount of times and only have ONE to show for it xD she's the best of course but yeah, was wondering if anyone here made more.

 

[Darkover]

i haven't really try to talk with anyone here for extended period of time, that's because i barely have the energy to talk for extended period of time to introverted but i enjoy my interactions here with the other people here and that's enough for me

 

[aubrey!]

no. i met some, but they never stuck.
i don't message people first anymore, so i'm primarily the issue. but i figure someone would go out their way to message me, if they really cared that much.

 

[tiredtired]

not really, but I enjoy the community

 

[NitrogenAfternoon]

Loneliness will follow me in every single facet and I no longer expect to make friends anywhere. I would ideally want to have a partner to ctb with more so than a friend at this point. A lot of us are are our lowest, and it is really difficult to be a friend or be the support people deserve when we are all so consumed by our own struggles. I totally understand when people I met on here don't respond or have any interest.

 

[Poltergeist]

I've made one good friend that I private message in the last decade and a half, not here. He's a similarly middke age depressed loser. I'm just an unlikable person who isnt very fun, people want someone who makes them feel better.

 

[Well_Its_Time]

I am new and I don't think I'll make friends. My head is elsewhere and I did not join the group to make friends. I find this a safe place that supports each other and we can express our feelings and our thoughts. I do feel sad when someone CTB but still hope that they found the peace that I will hopefully find. I am very tired of living.

 

[yellowjester]

I feel like my presence on this site isn't even being taken note of lol. No, I've certainly not been able to make any friends on here yet.

 

[sammiechzxv]

Not really but there used to be a few individuals I interacted with frequently

 

[SVEN]

I feel like my presence on this site isn't even being taken note of lol. No, I've certainly not been able to make any friends on here yet.

I've noticed you, YJ, and one day I may yet be a Jester also.

 

[yellowjester]

I've noticed you, YJ, and one day I may yet be a Jester also.

We're all jesters in this great cosmos. And thank you for noticing me, it means a lot :)

 

[Aergia]

I don't know how to answer the question (that is, I don't know if others would perceive me as such) but I don't really feel great about having been unable to reciprocate the warmth I've been shown here, and progress emotional connections, and so on. Especially considering how others are generally able to do so easily. That goes for online and irl relationships in general. I do wish I wasn't like this—I can't help but feel like the issue is a more salient manifestation of some deeper problem.

 

[The_Hunter]

I feel like my presence on this site isn't even being taken note of lol. No, I've certainly not been able to make any friends on here yet.

No way! I know you! (From seeing your posts about in the wild, at least ;D) Thank you for being here <3

We're all jesters in this great cosmos. And thank you for noticing me, it means a lot :)

Surely you jest... >;)

 

[6lackstar]

Not yet unfortunately! I don't think I'm very good at forming connections online no matter how hard i try

 

[cme-dme]

It'd be nice to make a friend here but it's also kind of scary, opening myself up to somebody new like that. I feel like I am kind of cold and distant most of the time when I talk here and I wish I wasn't. I'm much more expressive with those I'm close with.

 

[Shroomsonmyhead]

Not yet unfortunately! I don't think I'm very good at forming connections online no matter how hard i try

Same! But I would argue that making friends online through intentional effort is actually incredibly hard.

Personally, I am very passionate about the topic of "Friendology" (and yes that is a real academic term, haha) I.E. the scientific study of how humans make and keep friendships-

SS clearly has a lot of users who would like to be able to make connections on the platform, but as most people on this thread have already expressed, the vast majority of them don't exactly get the results that they are looking for.

Forums like these are definitely a very useful outlet for communication, but they are actually quite bad when it comes to socialization.

Statistically speaking, the two biggest determinate factors involved in the formation of friendships are repeated exposure and the accomplishment of shared goals, which is why most people make the vast majority of their friends during school, in clubs, at the workplace, etc-

-as these are all environments where shared goals are universal, repeated exposure is constant, and "making friends" is treated as a natural side-effect of the environment rather than something you are EXPECTED to do.

There is much less pressure in them than in environments where socialization itself is the only goal, like while online dating or communicating through DMs.

That is also why social GAMES tend to be much better environments for making new friends than social FORUMS… and why I think that threads suggesting that SS have official servers or groups dedicated to specific online games would be a big step in the right direction.

Personally, I would also like to make a long-term thread on this site designed to provide a long list of studies/resources relating to the science of friendships… but I've admittedly been putting it off, lol.

Rant over

 

[cme-dme]

That is also why social GAMES tend to be much better environments for making new friends than social FORUMS… and why I think that threads suggesting that SS have official servers or groups dedicated to specific online games would be a big step in the right direction.

I like this idea but it's also a nightmare from a privacy perspective. At least when you make a new online persona for SaSu it doesn't need to be used anywhere BUT SaSu. There's much less risk of linkability (aka, how easily data points about somebody can be linked together) when everything takes place on the forum. With that in mind though that makes me wonder if we can have online browser games hosted on SaSu or something? Would be a lot of work but I think that'd be cool ;)

 

[Shroomsonmyhead]

I like this idea but it's also a nightmare from a privacy perspective. At least when you make a new online persona for SaSu it doesn't need to be used anywhere BUT SaSu. There's much less risk of linkability (aka, how easily data points about somebody can be linked together) when everything takes place on the forum. With that in mind though that makes me wonder if we can have online browser games hosted on SaSu or something? Would be a lot of work but I think that'd be cool ;)

This is technically true. I personally have no problem setting up throwaway accounts or re-purchasing old games for the sake of personal privacy, but not everyone is in an economic position to do that, nor are 100% of online games well-suited to alts and throwaways.

Regardless, the trick to choosing a good social game is that it has to be something that people WANT to play for its own sake, but would PREFER to play with others.

If people only join the game for socialization and nothing else, then the element of "shared accomplishment" is removed, the task becomes something one feels PRESSURED to do, and the ultimate likelihood of successfully making friends within the environment is reduced.

"Reducing pressure" is also why I have found that people are much more likely to make friends in cooperative games (survival games and basebuilders) rather than competitive ones (shooters and MOBAS), but that is simply a consistent trend, not an unbreakable rule.

I know of several popular browser games off the top of my head… but none that have social elements.

One thing is for sure, though… our current "counting games" where users in a thread each make a number go up or down… those are definitely not optimized for friendship, haha.

 

[cme-dme]

This is technically true. I personally have no problem setting up throwaway accounts or re-purchasing old games for the sake of personal privacy, but not everyone is in an economic position to do that, nor are 100% of online games well-suited to alts and throwaways.

Regardless, the trick to choosing a good social game is that it has to be something that people WANT to play for its own sake, but would PREFER to play with others.

If people only join the game for socialization and nothing else, then the element of "shared accomplishment" is removed, the task becomes something one feels PRESSURED to do, and the ultimate likelihood of successfully making friends within the environment is reduced.

"Reducing pressure" is also why I have found that people are much more likely to make friends in cooperative games (survival games and basebuilders) rather than competitive ones (shooters and MOBAS), but that is simply a consistent trend, not an unbreakable rule.

I know of several popular browser games off the top of my head… but none that have social elements.

One thing is for sure, though… our current "counting games" where users in a thread each make a number go up or down… those are definitely not optimized for friendship, haha.

I feel like the game, whatever it is would have to be one where obfuscating your online identity is very easy. At the end of the day though, maybe a forum doesn't have to be all about making friends. If you want to get to know somebody you can message them or engage with their posts. If you just want to scream into the void and vent, that's an option too. It's pretty versatile what you want to do here which I think is pretty cool. A SaSu Minecraft server that allows "cracked" accounts would be pretty interesting because you can pick whatever username you want with a cracked server without having to buy the game again.

 

[Pluto]

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, a handful of people I've PM'd with more. Some have now gone- sadly so- that's an obvious risk.

But, it's nice to get to know people a little better through private messaging. I would go as far to call some friends. I have a concern about them.

Sometimes it starts strong but fizzles out. Some people, we'll check in on one another now and again. Some people, we seem to have enough to say to chat regularly.

I suppose I think it's best to be cautious about it and sadly, like most relationships- not to become reliant on it. They or you may leave ultimately- for whatever reason. Some people I used to chat to just suddenly left the forum. One definitely CTB. Others find it hard to reply sometimes.

It's probably best to work out initially what to suspect from someone- so they don't feel pressured and, you don't end up disappointed. I've tried hard to take the stance that I'm grateful for the time people chose to share with me but, I try not to expect it now.

 

[ham and potatoes]

No, but I've learned allot

 

[NonEssential]

I guess my life would be a little bit better if I knew how to make friends both online and offline.

 

[Promised Heaven]

I made one. So much so that after 10 months they know who I am outside SaSu and we chat offsite nowadays.

My experience with making friends on SaSu in comparison to other websites is that SaSu friends are more raw and honest in comparison to many other places, but at the same time all of us are on SaSu for a reason, and our suffering in itself can affect friendships.

And because this is a suicide forum, I've also attempted to make friends who are no longer here, and I carry some grief from that.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I've met some nice people here, but, given the nature of this place, I need to keep my walls up. And yet, despite doing so, I still find it incredibly difficult whenever I learn that someone whom I was speaking casually with just a few days prior has ended their life.

 

[The_Hunter]

Same! But I would argue that making friends online through intentional effort is actually incredibly hard.

Personally, I am very passionate about the topic of "Friendology" (and yes that is a real academic term, haha) I.E. the scientific study of how humans make and keep friendships-

SS clearly has a lot of users who would like to be able to make connections on the platform, but as most people on this thread have already expressed, the vast majority of them don't exactly get the results that they are looking for.

Forums like these are definitely a very useful outlet for communication, but they are actually quite bad when it comes to socialization.

Statistically speaking, the two biggest determinate factors involved in the formation of friendships are repeated exposure and the accomplishment of shared goals, which is why most people make the vast majority of their friends during school, in clubs, at the workplace, etc-

-as these are all environments where shared goals are universal, repeated exposure is constant, and "making friends" is treated as a natural side-effect of the environment rather than something you are EXPECTED to do.

There is much less pressure in them than in environments where socialization itself is the only goal, like while online dating or communicating through DMs.

That is also why social GAMES tend to be much better environments for making new friends than social FORUMS… and why I think that threads suggesting that SS have official servers or groups dedicated to specific online games would be a big step in the right direction.

Personally, I would also like to make a long-term thread on this site designed to provide a long list of studies/resources relating to the science of friendships… but I've admittedly been putting it off, lol.

Rant over

Thank you very much for your mentioning of the term "Friendology". Never heard that term before in my life. But now, I am very glad I have :)

Will be remembering & likely revisiting this post!! My deepest of thanks, friend C:

 

[Shroomsonmyhead]

Thank you very much for your mentioning of the term "Friendology". Never heard that term before in my life. But now, I am very glad I have :)

Will be remembering & likely revisiting this post!! My deepest of thanks, friend C:

Super glad to hear it! Esp from a fellow Deathcon fan

Friendology is definitely a fascinating topic, and the value of what we've found from studying friendships only increases with each person who is informed of those findings, in a kind of social domino effect-

But so far it's still one of those areas of study that is very rarely brought to mainstream attention, which obviously sucks considering how it is more relevant now than it arguably ever has been.

 

[platypus77]

I'm starting to get to know some of the people in here. @The_Hunter is one I already consider to be a dear friend.

The other I think CTB'ed last week, as their last message was a kind of goodbye. This is making me consider to delete my account for good or at least avoid making new friends. I'm sad and "happy" for them. Feels weird to say this.

 

[nogods4me]

There was one who caught their bus and another who turned out to be a pathetic manipulative narcissist...and yes, contrary to what certain clowns wanted to pretend, they were diagnosed as such. I cannot emphasize enough how horrible these very sick people can be so I would advise people to be careful with the people they think of as friends if they are suffering from an illness/perversion of a healthy personality. I guess sometimes people have to just trust their intuition but for me, lesson learned: if they have certain types of perversions of the personality I want nothing to do with them.

The other one was a great person and they had BPD.

 

[The_Hunter]

I'm starting to get to know some of the people in here. @The_Hunter is one I already consider to be a dear friend.

The other I think CTB'ed last week, as their last message was a kind of goodbye. This is making me consider to delete my account for good or at least avoid making new friends. I'm sad and "happy" for them. Feels weird to say this.

I'm sorry to hear that. Feel free to message me on which friend it was in case it might provide comfort or shared experience.

Hugs,
Hunter