Help Have everything but still want to CTB, is that alright? Or… rash.

[°Celsuis_Caesar]

No Mental/Medical illness
Loving Family
Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner; everyday

What more could I ask for? And yet still life feels dull and like a routine, I like the many things that make life good, but the bad is school and jobs. Even now dreams feel something like a real heaven compared to living the rat race, Is it acceptable to CTB for reasons such as that or is it rash and stupid, thoughts?

 

[FuneralCry]

We all have the right to exit at a time of our own choosing, suicide is a personal decision. It is your life so only you know what the right thing is for yourself. Nobody needs to justify their reasons for ctb, we have no obligations to stay alive as we did not ask to exist. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[Crazy4u]

would you consider working on finding yourself first? (soul searching)

who are you as a person? what are you passionate about? any cases and interests that you care about?

why do you want to ctb if you don't mind asking?

 

[°Celsuis_Caesar]

We all have the right to exit at a time of our own choosing, suicide is a personal decision. It is your life so only you know what the right thing is for yourself. Nobody needs to justify their reasons for ctb, we have no obligations to stay alive as we did not ask to exist. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

would you consider working on finding yourself first? (soul searching)

who are you as a person? what are you passionate about? any cases and interests that you care about?

why do you want to ctb if you don't mind asking?

School is my reason, I don't really want to kill myself, I just want to escape the situation of grades, I fear careers are the same thing

 

[Dot]

School is my reason, I don't really want to kill myself, I just want to escape the situation of grades, I fear careers are the same thing

R u stdyng smthng tht u n-jy
Thre r othr creers tht mght nt nd th sme typ of gradng

 

[°Celsuis_Caesar]

R u stdyng smthng tht u n-jy
Thre r othr creers tht mght nt nd th sme typ of gradng

Yeah it's that in which I'm afraid of, plus I flunked a whole semester planning or 'studying' a method I could not do, sadly.

 

[Crazy4u]

how you feel might change when you graduate. If you are comfortable otherwise (family, money, health,..etc) I suggest trying to find interests unrelated to school and evaluate after few years

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

School is often nothing like the work world. Can you take a year or even a term to try working?

Not all jobs require a degree and many people find that their passion lies outside the work world. It's perfectly okay to work a less demanding job and use your time outside work to pursue what really interests you.

Could be anything! I have friends who do medieval reenactments on the weekends. Their 8-to-5 workday is just a way to pass time and earn a few bucks between gigs. They are really happy people with a great daughter and a fun life. Seeing them reminds me that anything is possible in the world.

 

[Natty]

>No Mental/Medical illness


>And yet still life feels dull and like a routine

I hate to break it to you but this is mental illness. The thing about mental illness is that it's not something that always appears in some grand overt and clear fashion, it can (and often is) a subtle build that can crescendo into feeling like you need to take your own life.

In fact, what you're describing is potentially some of the most common mental health ailments out in the world today, you just don't see it.

 

[myopybyproxy]

I'm the same way. In my opinion, if you've considered your options and thoroughly thought them through for months if not years, I would not say it is a rash decision.

Unfortunately the possibility to reject the shackles of society entirely is very low for me - it requires motivation, energy, and planning, but above all, a desire and a belief that things can change for the better. Maybe you can still do this - look into living off the grid, or alternative lifestyles (that can have a wide range of meanings, some more looked down upon than others but I simply mean outside the standard pattern society establishes and expects us to follow).

I hate to break it to you but this is mental illness. The thing about mental illness is that it's not something that always appears in some grand overt and clear fashion, it can (and often is) a subtle build that can crescendo into feeling like you need to take your own life.

In fact, what you're describing is potentially some of the most common mental health ailments out in the world today, you just don't see it.

Being dissatisfied with the status quo is not a mental illness in and of itself, although that is a feature many share - I suspect that to some extent, medicalising such dissatisfaction allows for easy containment of otherwise potential threats.

OP, what you're feeling is a sign that this iteration of life is not the one you were meant to live - there are so many other possibilities it is mindboggling. Even changing one variable can result in significant ripples or aftershocks years down the line. Metanoia discusses this more in detail - it's likely not your self you want to kill, but rather the aspects of your life that you don't find meaningful. Or as Marie Kondo would say, whatever doesn't spark joy.

 

[ThriveOrDie]

I agree that OP needs to try to find their passion in life. What interests you? College isn't the be all end all. I got a degree while not knowing what my passion was and ended up not using my degree. I got bad advice from many adults that told me just get a degree and you can get a job anywhere. I wish I had gone to trade school or went straight into the workforce. Volunteer at different places and find out what makes you feel good.

I also agree that the way you feel is not a mental illness. There are many societal factors that can cause these feelings. Technology, social media has actually made us more isolated. Social programming and PC culture has made us afraid and anxious to talk to each other. I'm always afraid to say the wrong thing and very guarded when I meet new people. And the PC rules are always changing. The pandemic has made people more callous.

School is my reason, I don't really want to kill myself, I just want to escape the situation of grades, I fear careers are the same thing

It may take years to find what work you really enjoy. You will have work deadlines and many employers will load you down with too much work but you may also feel a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day and you will have friends at work and hopefully a big paycheck!

 

[Interloper]

School is often nothing like the work world.

I found it pretty similar personally, if not worse. Forced to be somewhere for x amount of hours, having to report to people, commutes, cliques and politics, (more) responsibilities, yada yada. I know some of these can be avoided depending on the job, but not all. And school I could just skip, can't really do that with a job, not without having another one lined up. And that job is on TOP of all the responsibilities I would have at home.

I miss school.

 

[Natty]

Being dissatisfied with the status quo is not a mental illness in and of itself, although that is a feature many share - I suspect that to some extent, medicalising such dissatisfaction allows for easy containment of otherwise potential threats.

Being dissatisfied isn't a symptom of mental illness in and of itself, but OP claims to feel nothing and wants to take their own life because of it, this is well within any mendical definition for mental illness, this is nowhere close to lowering the bar. Anyone with any academic knowledge of any of this wouldn't argue otherwise. In nearly everything in the DSM5 once sucidal ideation is in play things are long into medical mental health diagnoses.

 

[VoidDesirer22]

Being dissatisfied isn't a symptom of mental illness in and of itself, but OP claims to feel nothing and wants to take their own life because of it, this is well within any mendical definition for mental illness, this is nowhere close to lowering the bar. Anyone with any academic knowledge of any of this wouldn't argue otherwise. In nearly everything in the DSM5 once sucidal ideation is in play things are long into medical mental health diagnoses.

Plus these DSM5 diagnoses are arbitrary af in many cases. For example, someone can be diagnosed with depression while presenting with a completely different set of symptoms (it just lumps it all in, making sure a certain amount of symptoms are presented). No proof that it's the same thing.

 

[myopybyproxy]

Being dissatisfied isn't a symptom of mental illness in and of itself, but OP claims to feel nothing and wants to take their own life because of it, this is well within any mendical definition for mental illness, this is nowhere close to lowering the bar. Anyone with any academic knowledge of any of this wouldn't argue otherwise. In nearly everything in the DSM5 once sucidal ideation is in play things are long into medical mental health diagnoses.

That brings the old argument into question - is suicidality in and of itself indicative of mental illness? - that is, being suicidal means one is mentally ill. Because no one mentally healthy would ever want to die, or so is the logic used in that argument.

Why do you assume the DSM-5 is the be-all, end-all of determining the nature of people's ills? The lack of interrater reliability and high rate of diagnosed comorbidities suggest that perhaps something is wrong with the rating system itself. Quantitative vs qualitative approach to diagnosis. Among many other things.

 

[°Celsuis_Caesar]

I hate to break it to you but this is mental illness. The thing about mental illness is that it's not something that always appears in some grand overt and clear fashion, it can (and often is) a subtle build that can crescendo into feeling like you need to take your own life.

In fact, what you're describing is potentially some of the most common mental health ailments out in the world today, you just don't see it.

Do you know which mental illness I might have?

 

[ThriveOrDie]

Psychologists are just making stuff up at this point

 

[bloodfallsfirst]

I feel exactly the same way. I am disgustingly privileged, yet want to die. Life doesn't offer enough excitement or happiness for me, just dull monotony

 

[myopybyproxy]

Literally yes lmao.

The lack of self-awareness here is pretty astounding, considering the subject matter.

I forget that so many of you are just edgy teens.

Lmao your self righteousness is hilarious. But you're free to assume whatever you like.

 

[Crazy4u]

Do you know which mental illness I might have?

you can check out free online asessment quizzes. They are not so accurate but may open your eyes

 

[new.solution1]

Just normal depression really, that's what psychologists would say. Or they would say you don't have one, but in their opinion you are not well and still need help. Then they'll give you useless CBT help, maybe medication with a bunch of side effects. The label (mental illness or not) doesn't matter, if you go to them for help, what they do is the same no matter what label you have. Psychology will not give you answers based on the info you told me.

 

[Kismet]

Dull and like a routine are the same things that drive me to think how I do. Right or wrong, that sums it up. I guess thinking that way probably has a label of some sort