Venting Hate going to sleep...as it means I will have to wake up...

[MeltingHeart]

I have developed an extreme fear of going to sleep (i'd always suffered from insomnia due to anxiety but this is different)...I hate going to sleep, even though sleep is my only escape...and I prefer to exist in my dreams that in real life, if you know what I mean, my life there is often better...even if it is partly a nightmare...the real horror begins when I wake up each day...for a tiny fraction of a second-i dont know what has happened-and then after I remember my breakdown & everything about my life that has led me to want to ctb..& feel a severe sense of panic and profound despair...so now I hate going to sleep because I know that after I do...I will also have to wake up..to that very same feeling...every single day!! cant do this for much longer...must find a way!

 

[snorli]

This. Is. So. Relatable. (Not afraid of going to sleep though, just hate not being able to fall asleep .)

I'm happy for a second after waking up from an unnerving, yet exciting nightmare. Then feelings start to creep in and within seconds I feel like my life is infinitely worse, and a lot less interesting, than said nightmare.

First of all I try to extend the dream/nightmare for as long as possible. When that no longer works I kinda-sorta meditate and visualize the day before me, until I am able get out of bed. Sometimes I'm good in minutes, sometimes I in stay for hours in a sort of half-sleep. Kinda-sorta works for now. Sorry I don''t have any better advice to give you. Wishing you all the best.

 

[MeltingHeart]

Thku. That

This. Is. So. Relatable.

I'm happy for a second after waking up from an unnerving yet exciting nightmare. Then feelings start to creep in and within seconds I feel like my life is infinitely worse (and less interesting) than nightmare.

This is what I currently doing to cope: When I wake from deep sleep I try to breath and kinda-sorta meditate until I am able to face the day. Sometimes I'm good in minutes, sometimes I in stay for hours in a sort of half-sleep. Kinda-sorta works. Sorry I don't any better advice for you. Wishing you all the best.

thku- I used to be very good at making myself feel better due to having to deal with years of anxiety - I did yoga alot, swam, had started running - little bit of meditation & mindfulness exercise etc. Read books on all of these things. Generally look after myself - now anything I used to do just makes me feel even more sad and distraught - because I don't get the same enjoyment out of it - so I'd rather now even try and do them if that makes sense :( this is why I just don't want to wake up anymore - which = wanting to ctb.

 

[snorli]

Thku. That

thku- I used to be very good at making myself feel better due to having to deal with years of anxiety - I did yoga alot, swam, had started running - little bit of meditation & mindfulness exercise etc. Read books on all of these things. Generally look after myself - now anything I used to do just makes me feel even more sad and distraught - because I don't get the same enjoyment out of it - so I'd rather now even try and do them if that makes sense :( this is why I just don't want to wake up anymore - which = wanting to ctb.

Sadly, I can relate to that too .

 

[Mort]

This. Is. So. Relatable. (Not afraid of going to sleep though, just hate not being able to fall asleep .)

I'm happy for a second after waking up from an unnerving, yet exciting nightmare. Then feelings start to creep in and within seconds I feel like my life is infinitely worse, and a lot less interesting, than said nightmare.

First of all I try to extend the dream/nightmare for as long as possible. When that no longer works I kinda-sorta meditate and visualize the day before me, until I am able get out of bed. Sometimes I'm good in minutes, sometimes I in stay for hours in a sort of half-sleep. Kinda-sorta works for now. Sorry I don''t have any better advice to give you. Wishing you all the best.

Well sleep would be nice but not bin able to sleep properly for about a year now. I am lucky to get 10 to 20 hours a week. And lack of sleep does sum wired things to you

 

[Wayfaerer]

Despite sleep being when I am most at peace, I fear it for some unknown reason. I guess it is when I am quietly laying on my bed with my thoughts and no distractions?

 

[Sweet emotion]

OMG I've said this so many times! I hate going to sleep! I hate lying there with nothing but anxiety. Then I'll wake up a bunch of times. Thank God for Xanax and Benadryl. But yes you know you're going to wake up. So it's not really a positive, even though we all need sleep. and I much prefer sleeping in the day.