Hate "friends" stoping me to CTB

[Not.Flugel]

I am blackout drunk once again, so sorry for the rant. I have my SN and all my other meds ready for a while. What gave me the final push was the realization that nobody gives a fuck about you. Not like the first time, but the final realization. I hate all of them so much. It's so fucking easy to say you care and then chicken out, once I self harm or show any type of suicidal behaviours, even if it's light af compared to what's going through my mind. None of them deserve any closure when I fucking ctb at the beginning of next month, all of these fucking bastards deserve to suffer for their bs. "Oh I care about you, but only as long as you are mentally 100% fine." You don't, you never did, you deserve to suffer for your lies. Fuck you. (Sorry for this drunk rant.)

 

[Vizzy]

Sorry you going through this, hope you get peace

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

why do you care so much about friends??? if they disappoint you just bin them…. Don't let those mf distract you from your end goal which is completing ctb successfully honestly…. Why is it even about them when it should be about your eternal peace… Even if they don't care, why should you care you will be completing ctb soon. Even the greatest of all time MJ and Tina Turner ended up dead - that's the destination for all of us…. If they were to come and go out of their way to tell you they don't care it means that they actually care … like why bother the person that you don't "care" that much eh … lack of education can truly show with some people…

 

[FuneralCry]

Most humans are too self centered to ever care and that's the reality, to me it's certainly for the best to avoid people like that, it's horrible how humans are so insensitive and create more suffering but it's not even surprising that they act in such a way. But anyway I wish you the best and I hope that you eventually find the freedom you are searching for.