rotten
Student
- Apr 14, 2021
- 116
Two days ago she was at it again. First it started with her storming out of the shower yelling about everything and anything. Then she threatened to punch me in the face if I didn't vacuum the floor correctly. She then forced me and him to eat even though it's impossible to do so with that much stress. I threw most of the food away in napkins because I felt like vomiting. Afterwards I cleaned everything while she called me every name in the book. She compared me to my successful neighbor who's younger than me...i guess this will be a regular thing now. She called me a "filthy disgusting lazy Indian" (I'm part native american) She told me " you're no princess, you haven't been since you decided to cut your legs up". Then she accused me of being a lesbian and wanting to be a boy.....this isn't true....but still.....this isn't a good thing to be accused of in my household.....my sister has been threatened and disowned for being a lesbian.
There were many other things....so many that I can't remember them all. Either way...now I'm just expected to act like none of it happened. Nobody except her is allowed to show emotion. Even if I lost a pet, she's always discouraged me from crying or feeling the pain. And it certainly didn't work. Because now I live with so much hatred and pain inside of me. He isn't much help either. I always have to hear about how I'm a pussy or how I'm stupid. And I can't run to my boyfriend because I don't even think he cares.... My friend is the only one that doesn't make me feel insane. He's an angel I swear. Unfortunately I have a crush on him....I don't want to hurt him but I'm tired. If I had a reliable way to ctb... I'd go as soon as possible. I've lived like this for far too long. They shoot down every little thing that has given me hope. And they ridicule every detail about me that strikes a nerve. I live in fear of her hurting me. I don't even like to eat anymore because they've made me too uncomfortable to do so. I think I'm getting closer.
There were many other things....so many that I can't remember them all. Either way...now I'm just expected to act like none of it happened. Nobody except her is allowed to show emotion. Even if I lost a pet, she's always discouraged me from crying or feeling the pain. And it certainly didn't work. Because now I live with so much hatred and pain inside of me. He isn't much help either. I always have to hear about how I'm a pussy or how I'm stupid. And I can't run to my boyfriend because I don't even think he cares.... My friend is the only one that doesn't make me feel insane. He's an angel I swear. Unfortunately I have a crush on him....I don't want to hurt him but I'm tired. If I had a reliable way to ctb... I'd go as soon as possible. I've lived like this for far too long. They shoot down every little thing that has given me hope. And they ridicule every detail about me that strikes a nerve. I live in fear of her hurting me. I don't even like to eat anymore because they've made me too uncomfortable to do so. I think I'm getting closer.
