Discussion Has this forum helped you not commiting suicide?

[birthdaylastwish]

This is a genuine question i have. Has this forum helped you chose life instead of ctb? If Yes, how?

 

[Redacted24]

For myself, I'd rephrase the question somewhat.
I haven't chosen life.
However, finding this site has given me perspective and insight that the struggles that are driving me to an early exit are not unique to me.
Before coming here, I couldn't interact with others with candor for fear of repercussions of many types. Even hinting at mental distress was problematic.

Since I've been here, I've found comfort and support and empathy. I don't feel alone in my thoughts. I feel a member of a community of like- minded people. And that is a genuine boost.

No, I haven't chosen life. But I'm bearing it somewhat better most days because of being here. I'm able to kick that final decision down the road for another day.

I'm grateful for everyone in this site. Even the grumpy ones (you know who you are!)

 

[CatLvr]

@Redacted24 said exactly what I am thinking. It's not so much I've changed my mind as it is perspectives here have shown me other ways to deal with my issues. That and my son is back in my life. I've mentioned before that I would die for him. That also means I will live for him -- no matter how bad things get for me.

Edit: spelling error

 

[reverieheart]

I originally planned to CTB in August this year. Since then, I've decided to move to another country and give life another chance. If you ask me... Yes, I'm still suicidal. But I've come to see it as just another part of my life. This is the only community I trust with such a fragile topic.

 

[onthefence]

Kind of…. In that I have been warned that my method may not be effective so I'm a bit more hesitant to do it.

 

[oneeyed]

It's been more informational. Prevented certain failure of an attempt. I know the general public thinks we're monsters but I believe it's helped people not try methods that are certain to fail and have the person end up worst off and feeling more suicidal.

 

[manicstreetbeeper]

i think moreso it provides a place to not have to restrain oneself and pretend that things are fine when they're not. for some people, just talking openly about being actively suicidal without the fear that the police will be called on them or being flooded with toxic positivity can take pressure off at least.

 

[Forever Sleep]

My reason for staying alive is to hold on until my Dad goes first. If I'm honest, my longer-term intention is still to leave early.

But yes, this forum has given me an incredible amount of support. A sense of community. Somewhere I felt able to express things that would simply worry the crap out of my friends and family- which would be pointless, seeing as there's nothing they could do to help me. It provides me with distraction too. It makes my waiting time here more bearable and less lonely.

So, I'm massively grateful for this place. I only wish that journalists and the like who insist on reporting on it would consider that side of it too.

I doubt I'd let anyone 'save' me now regardless. I'd most likely courteously push away any attempts to. So, I also value this space for being able to express how I feel without receiving a bunch of shallow platitudes in response.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

When I made my account here I was totally desperate, very suicidal and I also had a method prepared (CO). I was alone and broken after a big failure in life but this great community helped a lot to go through the worst times I had.

My life is basically over yet it's still too good to end it. CTB is always an option.

 

[ConfusedClouds]

I agree with most the sentiments already said. The sense of community - hearing things that resonate and helping me build my communication skills when I fail so bad irl. Also awareness of methods and broadly how unreliable most are. Or realistically how bad the consequences are for failure rather than so much the actual risk of survival.

 

[Sutter]

Silent.

Had a thought and instead found an appreciation, a little awe, and a silence as I read through.

If I had a birthday last wish this was one Iwould have missed. So, will look to redact my thoughts 24 times when pondering the reverie heart of a forever sleeping cat lover that's sitting on the fence with one eye glaring at the manic street beeper thinking it is better to die, as confused clouds roll by overhead. Let it be known some thank yous are a mouthful and better left silent.

 

[Life_and_Death]

personally no. even reminds me why i should sometimes.
theres the occasional "gem among the rubble", but its rare.

 

[slightoverlooked]

yes and no. just made me consider postponing but life is just a bitch so i keep going back and forth idk.

 

[birthdaylastwish]

Thanks everybody for your replies.

 

[slamjoetry]

I think so. I'm still very suicidal but this site helps me keep moving. It's just really nice to talk to people who are going through similar experiences and won't judge you. Most people say that they support people suffering from mental illness, but you can tell they don't understand at all and think you're weird. I know most of us are probably sick of being told to call that damn phone number. It's so nice being around others who get it.

 

[_void]

I only joined yesterday but finding this space stopped me in my tracks from cbt. Even though this is my first time interacting here, I feel a lot of love and understanding here. I don't feel judgement. And this is just what I needed really...other people who understand and just get it and can have the candid conversations I can't have with other people in my life. Will it stop me from cbt later down the line? I really can't say, as my quality of life is very poor, however it has helped me get through one day so far.

 

[Forveleth]

i think moreso it provides a place to not have to restrain oneself and pretend that things are fine when they're not. for some people, just talking openly about being actively suicidal without the fear that the police will be called on them or being flooded with toxic positivity can take pressure off at least.

This for me too.

Also, I am the type of person who always wants to be helpful so I genuinely enjoy trying to give advice to others here, especially if it is helping people avoid potentially damaging and unsuccessful methods. There is no where else on the internet you can do that and not get banned.

 

[RoyalBengalAutistic]

Fuck no! It made things worse.

 

[lemonlotl]

yes, having a space to openly discuss wanting to CTB/my reasons without fear of being cut off from friends or forcibly hospitalized has been more helpful than trying to speak to MH practitioners imo. the stigma of suicidality sucks and it's refreshing to hear a POV that isn't just oh it will get better/you need to get professional help because it feels like people on this site understand more than anyone that that advice isn't always universal. :/

 

[The_Hunter]

Absolutely. The warmth of interacting (and reading) so many fine people here, gave me new appreciations for the marvel of human expression in ways that many a time fascinated me and made me feel more in tune with humanity & life in general.

The understanding I have gained about suicidality & life in general from this forum is genuine, voluminous, and healing.

I would like to believe that many others have had similar experiences, and too, had their lives eases by the amounts of understanding they have been able to experience, by virtue of the soaring spectrum human expressions--and perspectives & concepts they have known, from this forum.

Sanctioned Suicide has made me more in tune with life, and humanity--I feel my time here has most certainly finely equipped me more to engage with the human condition, in a way that mere blissful blindness--and silent darkness--could never have. It is a fine place with countless genuinely excellent & remarkable people--a genuinely special virtuosity of communityship here--and I am so glad I have had the pleasure of interfacing with so many good people here.

This kind of understanding and perspective in life has allowed my general view of life to look up; things have gotten better ever since I started lurking around here in late November, and now I feel more at ease & in peace with life than ever before. I feel I am now protected from suicide, not from obscurity, but by being genuinely informed of what life is and how things are--this, I believe, is the kind of virtue & wisdom that I am glad to have known & had the privilege of cultivating, from my honest time here at Sanctioned Suicide.

So many seriously suicidal evenings I have spent here, and many a time I can recall where my heart on fire was able to have been warmed through easing out through sifting through the posts of these forums, connecting with humanity, once again. There is a special kind of humanity and siblinghood we share here, and I don't forget that--I think that special, I think it remarkable: and beautiful, too.

May we know ourselves once again, by interfacing with others.

From a fellow introspector,
Hunter

 

[Namelesa]

I don't really know cus I am literally am unable to use effective methods at the moment. This forum has at least made me more sane and able to cope with my entrapment better and in some ways increase my self worth with how others think of me and my posts and what they say to me and what I can provide to others here. If I had effective method I would probably choose to die, with help of the info on here as life is still poopy but life is less poopy when interacting here.

 

[always_sad]

Yes because I can vent without being shoved into a mental institution by authorities or being ghosted by people I talk to.
Normie things like "nooo don't kill urself bc you'll hurt others and end up in hell aha" are not helpful at all and they only make me angrier and more resentful. Inspires me to kill myself out of spite. I hate it that talking about suicidal ideation is such a taboo.
On the contrary, this forum is very informational, straightforward and not sugarcoated. Everything from listed methods to interacting with other people. For example, I didn't know that two certain methods I wanted to try are very ineffective and they will only leave me severely injured. So I changed my mind.

 

[Jaded_Wolf]

Indirectly, I would say yes. However, I still keep ctb as a last resort if my life become intolerable enough.

I don't recall where I read it, but I feel there's a lot of truth with the sentiment that suicidal ideation is best understood by others who have also experienced suicidal ideation. Talking and reading about ctb, methods, intent, etc. helps me to gain a sense of clarity with my own thoughts. I'm doubtful such conversations could happen anywhere else.