Help Has anyone here tried and failed CTB by pills?

[IsolatedChaos]

I was just kind of wondering, if anyone would be kind enough to share, how does it feel? Is it really a "calm" way to ctb?
Many, many thanks in advance. I understand answering this may not be an easy thing to do.

 

[foreverstardust]

My first attempt years ago was on mixture of OTC painkillers and prescription antidepressants, it was very inefficient but I was desperate and thought that it would be like in a film where you just fall asleep. It wasn't; I had stabbing pains in my stomach, I was dizzy and had pulsing pains behind my eyes, and I kept throwing up over and over even when I had nothing left in my stomach. I got away with some kidney and liver damage, it could kill you entirely but it would be a long drawn out death of organ failure that would be painful and miserable.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

yup. opiates and benzos. honestly hardcore real benzo withdrawals have a higher chance of killing someone if they're not getting treatment.

I don't suggest or advocate or encourage doing the above. dying from seizing ain't the way to go. just offering a comparison.

 

[IsolatedChaos]

My first attempt years ago was on mixture of OTC painkillers and prescription antidepressants, it was very inefficient but I was desperate and thought that it would be like in a film where you just fall asleep. It wasn't; I had stabbing pains in my stomach, I was dizzy and had pulsing pains behind my eyes, and I kept throwing up over and over even when I had nothing left in my stomach. I got away with some kidney and liver damage, it could kill you entirely but it would be a long drawn out death of organ failure that would be painful and miserable.

Oh, I am... so sorry to hear that. I sounds awful :(
Hope you're doing better now

 

[dontwakemeup]

I've ways used pills as my CTB method. I'll discuss my last method which was horrific and I almost had to call 911! I took a bottle of opiods and another bottle of antidepressants. I fell asleep rather quickly like in the "movies!" The next thing I remember I woke up (thinking I had crossed over) and immediately ran to the bathroom and threw up several times until I only had gastric juices inside. I sat by the toilet crying and balled up in severe pain. Next my head was pounding and my chest was beating fast! I thought surely here comes the heart attack and I'll be gone for good! Nope, I couldn't stand the chest pains and had my phone on 9-1, but I realized if I called I'd be in too much trouble. After a few hours I felt better but still sick. I finally went to bed and when I woke up I couldn't eat for 3 days and barely could drink anything. I was so weak and miserable until the 3rd day, I was able to drink more and finally eat a small meal. I think my throat was swollen, I don't know. I will never do that again! I never called for help and never told my doctor. My experience was nothing as the movies depicts. Honestly, the movies made me think that was a beautiful way to go, how ironic.

 

[cme-dme]

Absolutely not. Unless you somehow get cyanide or N, just don't. Even if you did die it'd be after hours or days of agony.

 

[CatLvr]

I've ways used pills as my CTB method. I'll discuss my last method which was horrific and I almost had to call 911! I took a bottle of opiods and another bottle of antidepressants. I fell asleep rather quickly like in the "movies!" The next thing I remember I woke up (thinking I had crossed over) and immediately ran to the bathroom and threw up several times until I only had gastric juices inside. I sat by the toilet crying and balled up in severe pain. Next my head was pounding and my chest was beating fast! I thought surely here comes the heart attack and I'll be gone for good! Nope, I couldn't stand the chest pains and had my phone on 9-1, but I realized if I called I'd be in too much trouble. After a few hours I felt better but still sick. I finally went to bed and when I woke up I couldn't eat for 3 days and barely could drink anything. I was so weak and miserable until the 3rd day, I was able to drink more and finally eat a small meal. I think my throat was swollen, I don't know. I will never do that again! I never called for help and never told my doctor. My experience was nothing as the movies depicts. Honestly, the movies made me think that was a beautiful way to go, how ironic.

That was pretty much my experience also. I have no clue why I didn't die. Because I sure felt like I was gonna keel over every time I tried to walk for several days after. And I still have stomach pains if I am not careful amd track how much acetaminophen I take. Guess I'm sensitive to it now because it will make me puke if I don't pay attention and spread my doses out. And I generally have to eat a handful of crackers or chips when I take anything with acetaminophen in it. I would not recommend trying to OD on opioids (or muscle relaxers, or blood pressure meds or alcohol) as a way out. It is a lot of things but "peaceful" isn't one of them. And you still wind up staying here.

 

[dontwakemeup]

That was pretty much my experience also. I have no clue why I didn't die. Because I sure felt like I was gonna keel over every time I tried to walk for several days after. And I still have stomach pains if I am not careful amd track how much acetaminophen I take. Guess I'm sensitive to it now because it will make me puke if I don't pay attention and spread my doses out. And I generally have to eat a handful of crackers or chips when I take anything with acetaminophen in it. I would not recommend trying to OD on opioids (or muscle relaxers, or blood pressure meds or alcohol) as a way out. It is a lot of things but "peaceful" isn't one of them. And you still wind up staying here.

I'm sorry you have to go through that and still have complications. Pills are honestly a horrible way to try to go and in my experience was never pleasant like yours. It makes me wonder how so many people have done it and was successful? I'll never try it again.

 

[Forveleth]

Once you get the search feature unlocked, you can search the forum for people talking about their OD experiences. From what I have read it is anywhere from passing out for a day to vomiting profusely to being hospitalized in a coma. Most medications are tested to not be fatal, even in large amounts and in combination and the human body is annoyingly resilient. Most attempts go very, very poorly.

 

[LostLily]

I tried but I was I only took 8 antidepressants pills because that was all I had. So it wasn't much of an attempt

 

[zixd]

I failed ctb by pills and went go a hospital that night i could t remember because of the effect of the meds

 

[sximii]

Oh yeah several times. It was hell. Hospitals, pain. One time I took around 30 diuretics and was on an IV tube for 4 days. Most modern meds are not efficient for this kind of thing at all

 

[Forveleth]

One time I took around 30 diuretics

I literally curled up in pain reading that. Good lord that must have been pure hell.

 

[My Melancholy]

I tried once when I was younger. The cardinal sin of using paracetamol was not known to me at the time. Besides throwing up, there weren't really any effects. Even when consulting a doctor, they were surprised that nothing happened to my liver. Especially considering I did not seek medical aid. I surmise that I threw up most of it and avoided any ill effects, but I do still occasionally find myself thinking about it randomly catching up to me at the most inopportune moment as ridiculous as it sounds.

 

[CatLvr]

I'm sorry you have to go through that and still have complications. Pills are honestly a horrible way to try to go and in my experience was never pleasant like yours. It makes me wonder how so many people have done it and was successful? I'll never try it again.

Me, neither! I feel the same way about anyone who tries with pills. Given what I known now, they are just in for a whole lot of added pain and grief -- something a suicidal person definitely does not need more of.

If I had known about SaSu back then I could have saved myself a whole lot of disappointment, grief and pain. This place has educated me SO much and I will be forever grateful for that.

 

[bluered1]

Good that people can read these accounts and avoid bad problems

Too bad things aren't easier.

 

[Richard Langford]

Opiods taken orally trigger the vomiting reflex as a rule.

It would be interesting to know though if people had taken Nitazenes and what was their experience. Those are far more powerful and deadlly than anything prescribed. Anyone?

 

[sximii]

I literally curled up in pain reading that. Good lord that must have been pure hell.

It was. Like your body always shaking, always needing to move. Being nauseous, ears burning and ringing, stars in the eyes to the point I can't see. Never doing that again

 

[CTB Fella]

I've been sectioned 28 times, under the mental health act.

Mostly due to severe overdoses.

Yes, they work, but the bastards kept me alive.

I'm up to 300 tablets, now (has to be mixed with alcohol) which consists of Zopiclone & diazepam.

Completely peaceful. You don't fade out, like in the films, you just drop.

The last time was a brutal one for me. Ended up with a tracheotomy, as apparently I kept pulling the tube out of my throat when in the coma. Then ended up with a blood disease, then covid! Very clean hospital, hey.

But, to get to your question, it is very peaceful.

 

[maniac116]

I tried & failed twice on Rx med combos.
I crossed this method off my list not because of adverse effects but rather because its almost 96% failure rate.
I just blacked out. The second time I laid on my floor for over 24 hours unconscious til my neighbor found me. He said I was bloated & blue and he thought I was dead. No long term effects luckily. I wound up in a psych ward both times.
My advice: DONT!!!