Has anyone here ever had someone close to them in real life commit suicide?

[Desperate_Soul]

How did you feel when you found out? Do you still remember them? Did the people around the deceased get over it quickly?

 

[Clover]

My brother, devastated, we saw a utube about it before finding him - like a goodbye vid. I always understood why he did it. We remember him and it's been 8 years.
He was in a group of guys that rode dirt bikes and 2 of his mates followed soon after.

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

my uncle, my cousin

 

[RM5998]

If people you knew pretty well qualifies, then yes, a college friend who killed himself last December.

I felt... indifferent, mostly. I was happy for him, and slightly envious, but mostly indifferent.

 

[Circles]

How did you feel when you found out? Do you still remember them? Did the people around the deceased get over it quickly?

One of the first I remember was during my last year in middle school. I forgot his name, which sucks, but I didn't know him only knew him through a buddy of mine whom they would hang out in front of the middle school and play their portable psp. One time I remember hanging out with them when I notice them looking at porn which was the last memory I have of him. Anyways, long story short his grandfather died and he must have been the only loving person he had in his life cause I guess he couldn't live without him. I don't know if that was the sole reason or if there were more problems he faced. He was a pretty boy goth kid is all I remember of him. He used a shotgun to end it and I only know this cause his mom found him. His mom ended up in the psychiatric ward where my mother worked and she described her as well lost and stricken with grief obviously. Since I didn't know him I didn't feel sad, if anything it made me curious about suicide which at that time I didn't think much of it compared to how I am now.

 

[Maggoo]

A mate did about 6 years ago, and it pissed me off back then majorly as it literally came from nowhere for us. Not that I didn't think he had the choice or should have but that we were so blind he was struggling so much.

It destroyed his mother mainly for the same reason I think. She went into massive blame mode and kicked off at us friends as we should have known but even looking back on it there were no warning signs what so ever. He literally must have just decided that night that he was done.

Every time I see a car like his I think of him and some of the crazy stuff he had done.

 

[SamK]

2014- colleague
2014 - best friend
2015- another best friend. young one. too.
2017 - close friend. Had enough.
2018-- myself.. and i can't wait!

 

[SamK]

Friend 1 - her mum is copiing and getting by with life better four years on. She goes places, is managing to hang out with her friends, she isn't in work, and her health has drastically gone down hill with stress. I wouldn't say she's ok, she never will be but, she's living more than she was for the first year .. or getting on with life, best she can without her daughter

Friend 2- Not sure. Her brother must still be devastated, they were close.

2017 friend. Nope. Her mum is still a wreck, so is her son.. she had a 11yr old boy, he had just started secondary school. I feel worse for him.

My family, i'm sure they will be upset, i'm sure all of ours will but they also never appreciated my existence whilst I was here, never helped, i'm just a nuisance and accident, my existence. I'm kind of doing them a favour (those are not my reasons, but still) in the long run they are better off...

 

[PatKat]

I had a friend shotgun his chest when I was a teenager. Didnt really effect me at all.

 

[solacely]

One of my close friends did in 2016. But I met her from a mental hospital so it wasn't surprising at all. I was very upset at first but accepting because I knew she struggled a lot.

 

[SamK]

My friends were in the psych ward a lot too. I understood how much they endured and suffered. Was sad for them but I guess they tried every therapy, medication and self help going. Just took them. Damn BPD.

 

[wezel]

My mother and her brother.

 

[JustLosingMyself]

Someone I care deeply about ODed while on the phone with me. She did survive, but I cannot help but feel I could have done something. That was 9 months ago. I'm 2 stints in psych hospital since because of it and looking at a 3rd, and on long term leave because of depression. CTBing is OK (I'm planning on it), just don't kid yourself that you won't leave devastat ion in your wake

 

[Final Escape]

Someone I care deeply about ODed while on the phone with me. She did survive, but I cannot help but feel I could have done something. That was 9 months ago. I'm 2 stints in psych hospital since because of it and looking at a 3rd, and on long term leave because of depression. CTBing is OK (I'm planning on it), just don't kid yourself that you won't leave devastat ion in your wake

I'm already causing devastation while awake and in existence. It will truly be better for everyone when I'm no longer here causing problems making society worse.

 

[Okami]

My mother. It made me question everything I thought I knew (suicide was wrong, those who killed themselves would go to hell, etc.), and now, here I am. I share no beliefs with my grandmother, though she's totally unaware of it. She most likely still thinks I'm a Christian who wants to live despite all the bad shit that keeps happening.

 

[RosieMx]

I am here because my boyfriend hung himself 9 weeks ago... I found him. And since then I am really struggling to find a reason to live anymore. He was my world & now I'm just in a black hole. I've been lurking on here without signing up for this whole time. & I understand how he done it as at first I struggled with the positioning as it was partial suspension. I just wonder if he was on this site too. Never did I have an idea he was suicidal... but now no one knows that I am too

 

[wezel]

I am here because my boyfriend hung himself 9 weeks ago... I found him. And since then I am really struggling to find a reason to live anymore. He was my world & now I'm just in a black hole. I've been lurking on here without signing up for this whole time. & I understand how he done it as at first I struggled with the positioning as it was partial suspension. I just wonder if he was on this site too. Never did I have an idea he was suicidal... but now no one knows that I am too

Sorry to hear that, must have been absolutely awful and traumatising.
One cannot see from the outside what really goes on in somebody's head , that's why we are here, where one can at least let all the faking go.

 

[RosieMx]

Sorry to hear that, must have been absolutely awful and traumatising.
One cannot see from the outside what really goes on in somebody's head , that's why we are here, where one can at least let all the faking go.

Yes, it was traumatising. Luckily he left me a few notes so I understand why he done it. I understood before I even read them. So I'm not angry about it. I just feel how he must have felt... This site really is a real help.

 

[whatmattersmost]

Actually lost Two of my dearest Friends.
One Friend I saw Every Day until he committed Suicide in 2017

 

[Miss clefable]

Yes my mom and partner

 

[whatmattersmost]

Yes my mom and partner

We're You close to your Mother?
How old we're you when you lost Her?
Sorry by the way.

 

[Miss clefable]

We're You close to your Mother?
How old we're you when you lost Her?
Sorry by the way.

I lost her recently blood clot due to years of abuse

 

[whatmattersmost]

Sorry for your Loss.

 

[RacilyDank]

I've never had anyone close to me die by suicide but I know of a lot of people who have and it's effected me, not as much the people close to them obviously but still. Even though I understand their pain and don't blame them it doesn't help.

 

[Jane Doe]

My husband. I'll never get over it

 

[Lara Francis]

I am here because my boyfriend hung himself 9 weeks ago... I found him. And since then I am really struggling to find a reason to live anymore. He was my world & now I'm just in a black hole. I've been lurking on here without signing up for this whole time. & I understand how he done it as at first I struggled with the positioning as it was partial suspension. I just wonder if he was on this site too. Never did I have an idea he was suicidal... but now no one knows that I am too

I am so sorry to hear that and it must still feel very raw.I hope you find comfort and support with us. Hug *

 

[Lara Francis]

My husband. I'll never get over it

Me too.

 

[RosieMx]

I am so sorry to hear that and it must still feel very raw.I hope you find comfort and support with us. Hug *

I really hope so too hunny. It's been a rough few weeks. I'm really struggling as I know the effect suicide has now and I don't want to pass that onto my family. But I don't want to be here either x

 

[Miss clefable]

I am here because my boyfriend hung himself 9 weeks ago... I found him. And since then I am really struggling to find a reason to live anymore. He was my world & now I'm just in a black hole. I've been lurking on here without signing up for this whole time. & I understand how he done it as at first I struggled with the positioning as it was partial suspension. I just wonder if he was on this site too. Never did I have an idea he was suicidal... but now no one knows that I am too

I'm so sorry for your loss

 

[Hanger]

Sorry for your loss. What ever you will do, I hope you will do the right for you and will never think you have done something wrong