Has anyone ever had a “tough love” MH service provider?

[Feux]

I've had a psychiatrist like this, and he was pretty much just negligent, gaslighting and told me shit like "yes, you should try to be a functioning member to society to not burden your parents". Literally, he said these exact words to my face after an involuntary hospitalization at a teens psych unit for suicidal ideation. He gave no sort of follow up treatment afterwards, just earth-shattering revelations like this one. Knowing I'm a waste of space does not make me less of a waste of space, that's how depression works. There are a lot of bad practitioners but I wonder how many get away with being terrible under the pretence of "tough love" instead of trying to argue that they were actually being nice the whole time.

Obviously some people are receptive to this kind of critique, but I'll never understand why so many MH professionals feel entitled to patients/clients adapting to their methods rather than the other way around, which I feel is the whole point. And if they really can't do that, they could simply admit they're not the right fit. They can give referrals. Blaming a client/patient is so uncalled for.

I thought essentially being told "Stop feeling judged, dismissed and invalidated. Get used to it, it's just how he works" in the context of helping mentally ill people is really strange. Especially when they're, according to them, in a fragile state of mind and distressed enough that coercion and restraint suddenly becomes justified and necessary.

 

[wheelsonthebus]

Damn do we have the same psychiatrist? "You're not that special" in a condescending tone, after I hadn't said anything that this would make sense as a response to was wild. I hadn't to my understanding ever shared anything that would justify it -- I don't think I'm special at all!

Yeah. I actually liked mine at first because I personally cannot stand overly happy/cheerful/optimistic tone when discussing suicide and the state of the world, nor do I want someone that will sugarcoat anything. But unfortunately, he wasn't frank like I thought; he was just an asshole. And he still wants me to practice gratefulness exercises. In a situation one should not be grateful to be in.

Some of our doctors suck, and I'm sorry that you got a shitty one too.

 

[Black_Knight]

I had one once. I saw her as a teenager, she was okay. Then saw her again as an adult, first appointment she flipped her shit at me out of nowhere. Got accusatory, called me a parasite, that she knew "what I was" and that I was running some kind of game. She wasn't wrong, I parasitize people to avoid adult responsibility all the time, and I've been told I'm manipulative to a fault. But it was a surreal experience. The irony though was that she was the most narcissistic therapist I knew. Half of our appointments, when they were cordial, were about her failed acting career and my interest in theater in high school. It was fine at the time because I liked feeling like I was bonding with someone over a mutual interest, but in retrospect that's not the right way to go about it.

Point is, even if I am some kind of evil vampiric puppeteer mastermind (who is still incredibly fucking miserable? you'd think I'd be better at it), that did nothing to solve that problem, if it is one.

EDIT: Well now I'm google searching her and I feel bad because it's providing some basis for empathy. Still, could've been two-way.

 

[BrainSplatter]

Whilst being treated for a OD years ago I had a nurse tell me to 'stop pretending and that there's real sick people here' all because it was self inflicted that makes me less deserving of help and treatment. Not that I wanted it anyway I fought so hard and tried to escape like I had to be strapped to the bed to have any cannula put in and IV treatment she made sure to butcher me too

Also had 2 security guards in A&E tell me that my hallucinations were fake that 'I was putting it on' while I was in a extremely distressed state like I was seeing and speaking to my hallucination then I'd say no it's isn't real it's all in my mind. I feel like their comment shot me back into reality making it more clear that it wasn't real but I still don't think it was right I continued to hallucinate and believed they were going to kidnap, rape me and harvest my organs some crazy shit eventually they did believe me and I was told it was drug induced psychosis lol.

Obviously being from the UK the classic tough love we are all given by CAMHS, Crisis Team and basically all providers is when we feel like self harming or are having suicidal thoughts - go have a cup of tea, have a warm bath or go for a walk that's the cure for all mental illnesses apparently lol