For a second there i thought i had something to live for. Things were going to be hard but doable. Tiny bits got bitten off and eroded away and now the only little bit that was still there has blown up.
I give up, I really do. Whatever I do, whatever I try it either goes wrong or isn't good enough. It has always been a case of people willing me to fail and having to prove them wrong, now even more so.
I'm not sure if this is a vent or what. I want to go, I want to die but I don't have the energy to get materials together for inert gas, or access to drugs for overdose. But if there was a cliff outside my front door right now I'd walk straight over that edge.
The first time I tried to CTB i made sure I had everything in order. Now I don't care. Let people scrap over what assets and possessions I have, little as they are. I just want out. I'm sat here wondering if anyone would even notice. I used to care that I'd upset some people I care about...
Now it doesn't really matter to me. It sounds harsh but yeah... I don't know.
Maybe I can find a rope somewhere, I've never had the courage for hanging but now I don't have any feelings toward it at all
I give up, I really do. Whatever I do, whatever I try it either goes wrong or isn't good enough. It has always been a case of people willing me to fail and having to prove them wrong, now even more so.
I'm not sure if this is a vent or what. I want to go, I want to die but I don't have the energy to get materials together for inert gas, or access to drugs for overdose. But if there was a cliff outside my front door right now I'd walk straight over that edge.
The first time I tried to CTB i made sure I had everything in order. Now I don't care. Let people scrap over what assets and possessions I have, little as they are. I just want out. I'm sat here wondering if anyone would even notice. I used to care that I'd upset some people I care about...
Now it doesn't really matter to me. It sounds harsh but yeah... I don't know.
Maybe I can find a rope somewhere, I've never had the courage for hanging but now I don't have any feelings toward it at all
