Discussion Has anyone else created an imaginary world to escape to?

[sad_frog]

I didn't have many toys as a child so I spent much of my time drawing. (or, idk, pretending the pencils were snakes that couldn't slither)

As I got a little older I started making comics with me as the superhero, as many do. Sharing these comics with my friend at school brought me so much joy and I eventually ended up with a reputation for being a good artist. Being recognized for something feels...really good.
Eventually I had created a whole new cast of characters and a new world.

These characters became closer to me than people IRL as my depression awoke in 12y/o me. Drawing always took my thoughts away from the depression and self deprecation.
I think I used drawing as a coping method long before I knew I was. (my drawings helped prove to the court that my father was a possible predator and a danger to myself long before I even had the capability to explain what had happened to me. My brain has blocked it all except for the drawings)

When our family got a VHS player and I watched my first disney movie around 6yo and I fell in love. "These characters are just drawings but they also aren't. They are nearly alive!" I am now a self taught freelance animator, probably because I wanted nothing more than to create even more life-like characters for me to immerse myself in.

Anyways,
It wasn't until I was in my late teens until I discovered that I AM all these characters I made up, that the world is full of situations Ive been through. It's all just... me...At first I felt lonely but then I came to embrace it. I was able to look back at my work and see what was bothering me at the time of drawing the piece, things that I didn't realize while making it...Which I kinda feel like a lot of people might not understand.

As the world has become more, uh, on fire and dying I've retreated further into my head for comfort. Is what I'm doing healthy? I am an artist/animator after all, it is my job to be creative. Do other people share this coping method?

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

I found refuge in art as a teenager ... then kind of lost faith in it .
I think the imaginary world is a great savior .

That's where all the culture we have comes from , and as it evolves , our contributions can possibly be positive .

As the world changes , so too do our narratives .

I'm a Moebius fan btw ... and back in the day I drooled over the air brushed space ships of Chris Foss .

Good cartoon / animation is sorely under rated ... I remember it not being taken 'seriously' at high school ...
the teacher was all about monumental cultural noble world changing heroics . (sigh )

I had an old idea about reading the map compared to drawing the 'plan' ... and I think that art is drawing the plan ...
however fantastical it may seem .

 

[sad_frog]

I found refuge in art as a teenager ... then kind of lost faith in it .
I think the imaginary world is a great savior .

That's where all the culture we have comes from , and as it evolves , our contributions can possibly be positive .

As the world changes , so too do our narratives .

I'm a Moebius fan btw ... and back in the day I drooled over the air brushed space ships of Chris Foss .

Good cartoon / animation is sorely under rated ... I remember it not being taken 'seriously' at high school ...
the teacher was all about monumental cultural noble world changing heroics . (sigh )

I had an old idea about reading the map compared to drawing the 'plan' ... and I think that art is drawing the plan ...
however fantastical it may seem .

Oh gosh, Moebius, one of my top inspirations for my own art. Animation is underrated, you can tell any kind of story with animation, if only people didn't believe it's only for children.

"...drawing the plan," I'm sorry, I don't follow.. Like using my fantasy/art to figure out the world I want to create for myself and live happily in IRL?

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

"...drawing the plan," I'm sorry, I don't follow.. Like using my fantasy/art to figure out the world I want to create for myself and live happily in IRL?

Yes , but not in a self conscious labored way .

Like trusting your subconscious to reveal yourself and your relation to the world / life / experience ...

Sometimes expression is a way of self understanding ?

I used the map/plan as a time comparison . the map is our view of the past and the plan is our collection of ideas about the future ? An over simplified encapsulation in a pseudo haiku minimalist way ... ( that's where you end up when you put the pencils down ... :( )

But don't let my anti art ghosts of the past ( art historical bltzkrieg ) invade your world for christs sake !!!

( rereading your initial comment , and you seem like you are on board with that self knowlege ...
maybe what I am saying is that the escape may actually be a valuable cultural process ... ( cough ) and not limited to
some personal 'refuge'. )

It is easy to forget the positive impact of creativity .

 

[woxihuanni]

Tolkien did. My dear mentor.

What did I expect of someone who loved Rowling better, I don't know.

 

[mynameispaige]

I kind of do that. I love Disney movies, anime, and video games. I submerge myself into these worlds. I don't create my own world but I create who I would be in these worlds. I'll draw myself, give myself a name, and a story for each of these worlds. I get completely obsessed with whatever I'm watching or playing at the time. I'm not sure if it's healthy but this has been the one thing that has kept me from going insane. Even if it isn't real. I feel like each of these characters are me. Just me if I was born somewhere else and didn't have to go through the pain I've been through in this life. But then again, each of my characters do go through pain. The difference is that in an imaginary world you control everything and can create your own happy ending. In real life you don't get that.

 

[sad_frog]

Yes , but not in a self conscious labored way .

Like trusting your subconscious to reveal yourself and your relation to the world / life / experience ...

Sometimes expression is a way of self understanding ?

I used the map/plan as a time comparison . the map is our view of the past and the plan is our collection of ideas about the future ? An over simplified encapsulation in a pseudo haiku minimalist way ... ( that's where you end up when you put the pencils down ... :( )

But don't let my anti art ghosts of the past ( art historical bltzkrieg ) invade your world for christs sake !!!

( rereading your initial comment , and you seem like you are on board with that self knowlege ...
maybe what I am saying is that the escape may actually be a valuable cultural process ... ( cough ) and not limited to
some personal 'refuge'. )

It is easy to forget the positive impact of creativity .

I totally agree, I find it a very valuable tool to understanding myself. I guess I didn't really state my problems in the post, hahah;;

I am worried that I'm spending too much time inside myself and it's causing me to dissociate.. I always have panic attacks when I'm forced to do adult ADULT CRAP like get my car fixed, going to an appointment, ect. I have no desire or need to leave my apartment I have good friends and a wonderful loving boyfriend so it's not like I'm avoiding EVERYONE.... Just most of the world & a lot o' reality.

It's also difficult to be an artist, painting your inner feelings for anyone to see and judge. I want to give up sometimes... I guessing youve been through this, lol;;. Eventually I will get an art block and in those weeks or sometimes months where I can't finish a project I feel as though the world is coming to an end. My "safe space" is gone and I feel like an empty shell. I think that feeling is also referred to as "depression," ha!

I kind of do that. I love Disney movies, anime, and video games. I submerge myself into these worlds. I don't create my own world but I create who I would be in these worlds. I'll draw myself, give myself a name, and a story for each of these worlds. I get completely obsessed with whatever I'm watching or playing at the time. I'm not sure if it's healthy but this has been the one thing that has kept me from going insane. Even if it isn't real. I feel like each of these characters are me. Just me if I was born somewhere else and didn't have to go through the pain I've been through in this life. But then again, each of my characters do go through pain. The difference is that in an imaginary world you control everything and can create your own happy ending. In real life you don't get that.

Yes, I feel the same. It is nice to feel like you have control over something in the chaos of it all

 

[Mr2005]

The world of SNES is my happy place.

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

@sad_frog ....

Trouble with real world .

It's a powerless vibe I think .
We are all so specialized ... and limited in our abilities to 'deal with' real shit .
That can kick in anxiety .


I think we have to learn to regard relying on each other in society as a necessary human thing and when we
deal with power tripping specialists that humiliate us ... just say 'fuck em ' and try and find a better more
humane specialist . (I changed dentists years ago and I was shocked to be treated with compassion and
'respect' as a human being rather than a deviant by the entitled 'chip on his shoulder- failed doctor' I had been
punishing myself with ! Out with the old I say ! )

 

[Soundgarden]

Yes, I have done that all my life. The ironic thing is that I never can access these alternate realities when I am at my lowest. Just when I need to escape the most, my brain won't let me conjure them up.

Thank you, brain :p

 

[MichiyoCornell]

I don't think I have the capacity to create imaginary worlds because the minute I come down from fantasizing, it just hurts too deeply. I will break down completely. But my dream world when I'm asleep still manufactures a different reality and time in my life for me. I'm always dreaming I'm back in school again, in college again, working again - being a person who was still full of potential instead of the invalid I am in the eyes of the world. It used to depress me when I woke up back into this nightmare again, but sadly I've gotten used to it.

 

[Stan]

I used to daydream a lot. especially when listening to music. Would create episodes of my favourite TV show where I was one of the leading roles. I have not done that for a long time now. It was a nice escape, quite miss it now I come to think of it.

 

[Chris0001]

I don't exactly know the name or if it has one. But I built my own world in my mind like 2 years ago with 19. It was quite hard because I had to build things in long term memory without any connection yet. For example, for A-Levels (that's the highest school grade in Germany) I built a house with different rooms in different colors specifically for each subject I wrote in. Everything looks similar in terms of size, and there is a book on a couch in each of them, where i wrote all the information I needed for the exam into. Works like a charm, can still read it mostly.

 

[H2H2]

I used to daydream a lot. especially when listening to music. Would create episodes of my favourite TV show where I was one of the leading roles. I have not done that for a long time now. It was a nice escape, quite miss it now I come to think of it.

How did you stop if you dont mind me asking .

 

[Stan]

How did you stop if you dont mind me asking .

It just faded out. It was tied up with me listening to music which I used to do a hell of a lot. Then I lost interest in music, didn't get any satisfaction from it so the daydreams left with them

 

[H2H2]

It just faded out. It was tied up with me listening to music which I used to do a hell of a lot. Then I lost interest in music, didn't get any satisfaction from it so the daydreams left with them

I used to daydream a lot as a way of coping. I knew it was unhealthy so I tried over an over again to stop it or decrease it but after a week I would fall back into it again. I think in my case it was tied to hope since I was daydreaming something resembling a normal life. Once my life worsen to the point of loosing hope I suddenly stopped being able to daydream. I still fall into the pattern every now and then but I cant start the dream for more than a couple of minutes. I think there is too much of a disconnect between what I dream and the reality of my life. I think that little hope I had to turn my life around worked in relation to my daydreaming like the suspension of disbelief you need to enjoy movies or books.

Thank you for answering, Stan. Im sorry you lost your joy for music.

 

[azucaramargo]

I don't think I have the capacity to create imaginary worlds because the minute I come down from fantasizing, it just hurts too deeply. I will break down completely. But my dream world when I'm asleep still manufactures a different reality and time in my life for me. I'm always dreaming I'm back in school again, in college again, working again - being a person who was still full of potential instead of the invalid I am in the eyes of the world. It used to depress me when I woke up back into this nightmare again, but sadly I've gotten used to it.

What gorgeous imagery! You are nobody's invalid.

 

[Mort]

Yes i did but sad to say had to let it go:( as at one point i was spending so much time they . I began to forget to eat drink and use the bathroom . I did not shower for weeks just let my self go all wanted to do was live in that perfect world i made in my head . I sort of ended up in sum sort of wakeing comer just did not want to leave but had to and had to let that world go :( . I think i left a part of me they ever since i left i just feel hollow sum thing missing. I think it was my happiness as i neve bit happy after that in fact i font don't feel much of anything anymore. Its like i have died on the inside and the rest of me has still to catch up i wish it will hurry up. As i had enough of this life just a wast of space no good to know one. Even my parents have more or less given up on me they just see me as one big disappointment .

 

[Bluma180]

Tough question for me. I guess it is hard to gague if I created my own reality, tried to adapt to society and created a facade, or was just an individual who perceived things from a more "old soul" perspective from my own experiences. I think there are ton a facets to the question as it relates to me. I have to think more about this, great question. Playing guitar/writing music has always been a great escape, but has kept me humble as I see how much talent there is in the world.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

Didn't really have to. Rockstar did it for me already. GTAV.
I work as a cabbie (with an occasional crash, so I have to steal a new cab) with a side job of small caliber stock day trader. The stock thing is making the game tricky to save progress.
I come home, I check the market, there's something sellable, I sell it, buy something else, go to sleep, 8 hours pass, I check the market, something else is sellable, sell, buy, sleep, 8hrs, check market, sell, buy, sleep, check market, sell, buy... it got to the point I need a good dozen of cycles to get to the point I can't sell anything, and finally get away from the game to do stuff.
Income from the stock market isn't that great tbh. Every time I come home to save, it's kind of like doing another haul on the cab right now, HOWEVER... my single slot size is two thousand. I have eight slots. Why eight and not slots, I don't know. Soon it'll turn five thousand. Afterwards, it'll be ten. then twenty. Fifty thousand. Hundred thousand. You get the point. It's been an ingame week and I'm ready to clear my slots with the help of all this extra money I got from hauling people around and oversleeping, and start the 5k buildup.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I didn't have many toys as a child so I spent much of my time drawing. (or, idk, pretending the pencils were snakes that couldn't slither)

As I got a little older I started making comics with me as the superhero, as many do. Sharing these comics with my friend at school brought me so much joy and I eventually ended up with a reputation for being a good artist. Being recognized for something feels...really good.
Eventually I had created a whole new cast of characters and a new world.

These characters became closer to me than people IRL as my depression awoke in 12y/o me. Drawing always took my thoughts away from the depression and self deprecation.
I think I used drawing as a coping method long before I knew I was. (my drawings helped prove to the court that my father was a possible predator and a danger to myself long before I even had the capability to explain what had happened to me. My brain has blocked it all except for the drawings)

When our family got a VHS player and I watched my first disney movie around 6yo and I fell in love. "These characters are just drawings but they also aren't. They are nearly alive!" I am now a self taught freelance animator, probably because I wanted nothing more than to create even more life-like characters for me to immerse myself in.

Anyways,
It wasn't until I was in my late teens until I discovered that I AM all these characters I made up, that the world is full of situations Ive been through. It's all just... me...At first I felt lonely but then I came to embrace it. I was able to look back at my work and see what was bothering me at the time of drawing the piece, things that I didn't realize while making it...Which I kinda feel like a lot of people might not understand.

As the world has become more, uh, on fire and dying I've retreated further into my head for comfort. Is what I'm doing healthy? I am an artist/animator after all, it is my job to be creative. Do other people share this coping method?

I think your coping mechanism is absolutely amazing. You get to be whoever you want to be. You get to go on adventures to places you'd never go. But I also think k it's very important to keep one foot in the real world. To be able to thrive you need to be a part of this world as well. Don't secluded yourself from everyone and everything. Real relationships are very important. It's a wonderful way to look back and understand what was bothering you at the time and help you fix it. You just still have to stay present in this world too. Self isolation can bring on deep depression. What if you used these anazing skills of yours to get a job? Doing something you love and getting paid for it is very rewarding.

 

[Soul]

@sad_frog, you sound like an artist who should have a Renaissance-style workshop/studio with assistants and apprentices who take care of the drudge-work while you invent.

It's called "maladaptive daydreaming", and I've been doing it all my life without knowing there's a term for it. I only learned that here on this forum. What an educational bunch we are! <3

Huge bravos for everyone who turns it into a creative vocation, either professionally or as an amateur. The world would be a far less beautiful place without you.

 

[sad_frog]

I think your coping mechanism is absolutely amazing. You get to be whoever you want to be. You get to go on adventures to places you'd never go. But I also think k it's very important to keep one foot in the real world. To be able to thrive you need to be a part of this world as well. Don't secluded yourself from everyone and everything. Real relationships are very important. It's a wonderful way to look back and understand what was bothering you at the time and help you fix it. You just still have to stay present in this world too. Self isolation can bring on deep depression. What if you used these anazing skills of yours to get a job? Doing something you love and getting paid for it is very rewarding.

I do have small jobs I do with animation... Mostly I'm a bum..
a big problem I have is that I'm very self destructive and will ruin my hard work. I started breaking things to try to counter self harm.
I will rip up art work other people compliment just to hurt myself? Once I had spent a few months working on a bioactive vivarium with a working waterfall, false bottom, and hand sculpted scenery for some frogs I was planning on getting. One day I was having a panic attack and carried it outside and watched it shatter as I threw the thing into the dumpster. I don't know why I can't just let myself be happy with what I make.

I just find fault in everything relating to me.

 

[Dawn0071111]

I wish I could.. :(

 

[Luchs]

I didn't have many toys as a child so I spent much of my time drawing. (or, idk, pretending the pencils were snakes that couldn't slither)

As I got a little older I started making comics with me as the superhero, as many do. Sharing these comics with my friend at school brought me so much joy and I eventually ended up with a reputation for being a good artist. Being recognized for something feels...really good.
Eventually I had created a whole new cast of characters and a new world.

These characters became closer to me than people IRL as my depression awoke in 12y/o me. Drawing always took my thoughts away from the depression and self deprecation.
I think I used drawing as a coping method long before I knew I was. (my drawings helped prove to the court that my father was a possible predator and a danger to myself long before I even had the capability to explain what had happened to me. My brain has blocked it all except for the drawings)

When our family got a VHS player and I watched my first disney movie around 6yo and I fell in love. "These characters are just drawings but they also aren't. They are nearly alive!" I am now a self taught freelance animator, probably because I wanted nothing more than to create even more life-like characters for me to immerse myself in.

Anyways,
It wasn't until I was in my late teens until I discovered that I AM all these characters I made up, that the world is full of situations Ive been through. It's all just... me...At first I felt lonely but then I came to embrace it. I was able to look back at my work and see what was bothering me at the time of drawing the piece, things that I didn't realize while making it...Which I kinda feel like a lot of people might not understand.

As the world has become more, uh, on fire and dying I've retreated further into my head for comfort. Is what I'm doing healthy? I am an artist/animator after all, it is my job to be creative. Do other people share this coping method?

I can really feel you. I also started creating my own world when I was young, that I turned to as a place to cope when depression struck in my early teens.

Though I didn't use it to cope with situations I've been through, I fled there because it was the only place where the joy and happiness of my childhood was still alive.

The characters in there have also become increasingly real to me over time. It even stopped me from ctb once, because suicide just feels like genocide to me. I would wipe out an entire world full of people that have become a little too real for me. So I'm thinking about writing everything down, so that in the event of me passing the stories and the world and people won't perish.

 

[Edward1]

Wow, this sou

I can really feel you. I also started creating my own world when I was young, that I turned to as a place to cope when depression struck in my early teens.

Though I didn't use it to cope with situations I've been through, I fled there because it was the only place where the joy and happiness of my childhood was still alive.

The characters in there have also become increasingly real to me over time. It even stopped me from ctb once, because suicide just feels like genocide to me. I would wipe out an entire world full of people that have become a little too real for me. So I'm thinking about writing everything down, so that in the event of me passing the stories and the world and people won't perish.

Wow. This sounds amazing. A whole world that has come alive. Real people, characters, stories. I wish I had one. I just zone out with horror movies and dystopian stuff.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I do have small jobs I do with animation... Mostly I'm a bum..
a big problem I have is that I'm very self destructive and will ruin my hard work. I started breaking things to try to counter self harm.
I will rip up art work other people compliment just to hurt myself? Once I had spent a few months working on a bioactive vivarium with a working waterfall, false bottom, and hand sculpted scenery for some frogs I was planning on getting. One day I was having a panic attack and carried it outside and watched it shatter as I threw the thing into the dumpster. I don't know why I can't just let myself be happy with what I make.

I just find fault in everything relating to me.

That makes me so sad. So nothing you ever do feels good enough and that is why you want to die. That breaks my heart because everyone is good at something and I'm sure you're talented in many aspects. Maybe you just need to get your anxiety in check and learn to believe in yourself a little more. I completely understand if you've had it and just want to die but I bet you could benefit from therapy.

 

[sad_frog]

That makes me so sad. So nothing you ever do feels good enough and that is why you want to die. That breaks my heart because everyone is good at something and I'm sure you're talented in many aspects. Maybe you just need to get your anxiety in check and learn to believe in yourself a little more. I completely understand if you've had it and just want to die but I bet you could benefit from therapy.

Gosh, youre really sweet. I've been able to control myself a lot better than I used to. :) Though a lot of suicidal thoughts cross my mind I think I have finally reached the point where I know ctb isnt really what I want, I just want things to be.......different.
It does gives me comfort knowing that death is always an option if things become too hard to handle. Ah, feels good to say that. I love this site.

I am learning as I get older that spending so much time on being creative is quite draining. During "artblocks" I would always become extremely depressed and worried I was losing a part of me. I talked to another artist who i know irl about this problem and he explained that it was normal. He told me that once he graduated from art school that it took him nearly 4 years to pick it up again. Even with this knowledge I still become extremely anxious because art is my "job" and it feels silly to say "I need a break" from something I love.. And to explain it to people who dont consider art a job is a nightmare.

Thank you again for the kind words, it really lifted my spirits!

 

[Sweet emotion]

Gosh, youre really sweet. I've been able to control myself a lot better than I used to. :) Though a lot of suicidal thoughts cross my mind I think I have finally reached the point where I know ctb isnt really what I want, I just want things to be.......different.
It does gives me comfort knowing that death is always an option if things become too hard to handle. Ah, feels good to say that. I love this site.

I am learning as I get older that spending so much time on being creative is quite draining. During "artblocks" I would always become extremely depressed and worried I was losing a part of me. I talked to another artist who i know irl about this problem and he explained that it was normal. He told me that once he graduated from art school that it took him nearly 4 years to pick it up again. Even with this knowledge I still become extremely anxious because art is my "job" and it feels silly to say "I need a break" from something I love.. And to explain it to people who dont consider art a job is a nightmare.

Thank you again for the kind words, it really lifted my spirits!

Oh you're more than welcome. I always wanted to be an actress but my grandmother would tell me that isn't a job. I got sick at an early age so I never got a chance to pursue it but a little encouragement would have been nice. I'm glad that you don't want to die and that you want your life to be different. You seem like a very passionate person. And you have a lot to give to this world theough your art. Maybe you're just too hard on yourself some times. I know that we are our own worst critics. Any time you want to talk I'll be here.....well until I'm not. I wish you all the best of luck in your future. I really mean that. Lots of love.

 

[Élégie]

I used to do that a lot when I was younger; living vicariously through characters in movies, books or my drawings... Nowadays it mostly happens when I'm dreaming at night (the only time I feel truly free).