Razor's Edge

Razor's Edge

Scars Beneath the Skin
Jan 5, 2020
113
Interesting question or thought, I guess.

Has anybody had very vivid dreams or visions about CTB and what method you should use? Almost like you are being led?

I have had many dreams about different methods to CTB. I can picture them way after waking, in extreme detail. The dreams seem so real!

Does anyone else have this experience?
 
A

a.h

Specialist
Jun 19, 2019
356
Interesting question or thought, I guess.

Has anybody had very vivid dreams or visions about CTB and what method you should use? Almost like you are being led?

I have had many dreams about different methods to CTB. I can picture them way after waking, in extreme detail. The dreams seem so real!

Does anyone else have this experience?

I had positive vision/dream that felt 100% real that might have been sleep paralysis but I could totally move in it.

I have also had second one that felt more like a vivid dream (as being half awake). I had been worried about my elderly parents left behind. One day I saw very vivid dream where I would be in afterlife with them and we would all be very happy. I got to know my mother got certain rare disease and died soon after me and my father would pass soon after her. My mother was very healthy so I thought it was just a really vivid dream. Spooky thing is that few months later she told me she was diagnosed of disease that often ends in death. It was exactly the same disease and same kind which I had heard in that dream.

I am not afraid of the so called painless ways. I have been close to death few times before and all were pleasant experiences. Only thing I fear is failing.
 
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Wayfaerer

Wayfaerer

JFMSUF
Aug 21, 2019
1,938
I've never dreamed of CTB overtly but I've had a few dreams last year that were vivid and featured death in ominous and disturbing ways (like seeing wooden crosses in neighbor's backyard.)
 
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T

TimeToBiteTheDust

Visionary
Nov 7, 2019
2,322
Yes. I dreamed about my blue body after the SN. Maybe a premonition of a successful ctb ? I woke up after that image... It was so ugly
 
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A

AintNoWayOut

Student
Jan 6, 2020
173
pretty recently i dreamt of putting a shotgun to my head, but i didnt pull the trigger. and maybe a week ago i had a dream themed around suicide, but cant remember much of it. prior to then, when i was a kid, i dreamt of jumping off of buildings a few times, but i wasnt depressed/suicidal then.
 
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k75

k75

L'appel du Vide
Jun 27, 2019
2,546
Yes, but they are always bad nightmares about methods I would never, ever use. Two of them stand out, because they were extremely vivid and I've had them multiple times.

In one, I drive off a bridge. That's a strange one, because simultaneously I'm a passenger in the car behind, watching it happen. It's very shocking to witness, and I run out to look over the side and see the wreckage. But like I said, I also know it's me down there. It scares me.

In the other, I either fall or jump off something high and the dream ends right as I hit the hard ground. I wake up feeling it! Like my whole body is broken. There's just so much pain. I think I experience some sort of sleep paralysis, because I can't move for a little while after I've woken up. So it seems like it actually happened.

Thankfully, my nightmares are less frequent now, because I take Prazosin.
 
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Kira

Kira

Same stuff, different day
Apr 27, 2018
130
I actually don't recall having any dreams related to CTB. The closest I've gotten to that sort of thing is falling in my dreams. I have an intense fear of heights so it's definitely not intentional and I'd consider those nightmares. Somehow I always wake up before I even get close to the ground though.
 
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Razor's Edge

Razor's Edge

Scars Beneath the Skin
Jan 5, 2020
113
pretty recently i dreamt of putting a shotgun to my head, but i didnt pull the trigger. and maybe a week ago i had a dream themed around suicide, but cant remember much of it. prior to then, when i was a kid, i dreamt of jumping off of buildings a few times, but i wasnt depressed/suicidal then.


Thank you for sharing.

That's pretty deep. Is this your ideal method of CTB? The shotgun, I mean. Just curious.
I actually don't recall having any dreams related to CTB. The closest I've gotten to that sort of thing is falling in my dreams. I have an intense fear of heights so it's definitely not intentional and I'd consider those nightmares. Somehow I always wake up before I even get close to the ground though.


Thank you for sharing.

I also have had falling dreams, or nightmares I should say. I, also am afraid of heights.

I dream, and always have my whole life, that I keep finding myself trapped on the very top of a building's roof ,on the tip top where it is a triangle almost, and I'm laying down, clutching desperately to the sides. Always terrified. I don't always fall though, however never hit the ground, but is terrifying, never the less.
 
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passenger27

passenger27

In my beginning is my end.
Aug 25, 2019
642
Yes, but they are always bad nightmares about methods I would never, ever use. Two of them stand out, because they were extremely vivid and I've had them multiple times.

In one, I drive off a bridge. That's a strange one, because simultaneously I'm a passenger in the car behind, watching it happen. It's very shocking to witness, and I run out to look over the side and see the wreckage. But like I said, I also know it's me down there. It scares me.

In the other, I either fall or jump off something high and the dream ends right as I hit the hard ground. I wake up feeling it! Like my whole body is broken. There's just so much pain. I think I experience some sort of sleep paralysis, because I can't move for a little while after I've woken up. So it seems like it actually happened.

Thankfully, my nightmares are less frequent now, because I take Prazosin.
I've taken Prazosin too, and Topamax, and neither one helped me. I guess my body chemistry is way off. The weird thing is, I rarely remember my dreams. I kick and punch at the air I've been told, but I can't remember anything. My psychiatrist says it's from PTSD. Who knows. Maybe he's right. I guess it's probably good I don't remember my dreams but I wish something would help with the fighting in my sleep. Sometimes pot helps but not all the time. But I don't want to kick or punch anybody, that wouldn't be cool at all.
 
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Razor's Edge

Razor's Edge

Scars Beneath the Skin
Jan 5, 2020
113
Yes, but they are always bad nightmares about methods I would never, ever use. Two of them stand out, because they were extremely vivid and I've had them multiple times.

In one, I drive off a bridge. That's a strange one, because simultaneously I'm a passenger in the car behind, watching it happen. It's very shocking to witness, and I run out to look over the side and see the wreckage. But like I said, I also know it's me down there. It scares me.

In the other, I either fall or jump off something high and the dream ends right as I hit the hard ground. I wake up feeling it! Like my whole body is broken. There's just so much pain. I think I experience some sort of sleep paralysis, because I can't move for a little while after I've woken up. So it seems like it actually happened.

Thankfully, my nightmares are less frequent now, because I take Prazosin.


Thank you for sharing.

I also, have been on Prazosin for nightmares. I have been plagued my whole life, since I can remember. However, recently, I stopped taking my Prazosin. I know this might sound crazy, but a lot of times I feel my dreams lead me, so in this extremely tense time, I wanted to receive all of the extreme details of my dreams to hopefully help me, in this time of need and courage.

I, also have dreams where I am a participant, but at the same time an observer. They are very wild. Not really knowing which side you are really on.

I, also, have dreamt of my car crashing into a bridge and going over it and falling. I also have had a recurring dream and the same one in a vision when I was awake, of me having a crash at this one particular stop light intersection. It's funny, saying this, but I have gone out of my way to avoid that intersection. silly maybe, especially in light of this situation I'm in now.

I,also, dream of falling. Always from extreme heights. I'm like dangling on both sides of a high rooftop. Always screaming.
When I do fall from somewhere, I ,also do not actually hit the ground either, I wake up right as I hit.

I feel like I live other lives in my dreams. Lots of times throughout my life, I will be so active in my dreams or nightmares, that when I wake up, I am so exhausted that I can hardly move, and the lack of energy messes up my whole day. Plus the memory of the dream may haunt me all day as well, since I dream so vividly.

No one I know, understands anything about dreams. Most people I have known don't even remember their dreams.
When I was in school, my friends would gather around at meals, and beg me to share what I dreamt the night before. I guess they were like stories to them, since I could share all of the details. It was so cool they at least showed interest.

Some people I know, my mother as an example, has always believed that my dreams meant nothing and that they were all "mind garbage".

She also is very religious, Christian, and I said one day, Mom, aren't dreams very much a part of the Bible, and that sometimes even god or an angel would come to them in their dreams, and most of the time for an important reason? Her reply was this...there is no way god would speak to you in dreams, when you don't believe the same way.
She calls me Demonic, since I don't follow Her beliefs.

But, oh well, I guess I'm meant to always question...
 
k75

k75

L'appel du Vide
Jun 27, 2019
2,546
I've taken Prazosin too, and Topamax, and neither one helped me. I guess my body chemistry is way off. The weird thing is, I rarely remember my dreams. I kick and punch at the air I've been told, but I can't remember anything. My psychiatrist says it's from PTSD. Who knows. Maybe he's right. I guess it's probably good I don't remember my dreams but I wish something would help with the fighting in my sleep. Sometimes pot helps but not all the time. But I don't want to kick or punch anybody, that wouldn't be cool at all.
Most of my dreams are from my PTSD. I don't have daytime flashbacks, but they plague me at night. Sometimes the Prazosin works and sometimes it doesn't. Luckily I'm having a good period.

Thank you for sharing.

I also, have been on Prazosin for nightmares. I have been plagued my whole life, since I can remember. However, recently, I stopped taking my Prazosin. I know this might sound crazy, but a lot of times I feel my dreams lead me, so in this extremely tense time, I wanted to receive all of the extreme details of my dreams to hopefully help me, in this time of need and courage.

I, also have dreams where I am a participant, but at the same time an observer. They are very wild. Not really knowing which side you are really on.

I, also, have dreamt of my car crashing into a bridge and going over it and falling. I also have had a recurring dream and the same one in a vision when I was awake, of me having a crash at this one particular stop light intersection. It's funny, saying this, but I have gone out of my way to avoid that intersection. silly maybe, especially in light of this situation I'm in now.

I,also, dream of falling. Always from extreme heights. I'm like dangling on both sides of a high rooftop. Always screaming.
When I do fall from somewhere, I ,also do not actually hit the ground either, I wake up right as I hit.

I feel like I live other lives in my dreams. Lots of times throughout my life, I will be so active in my dreams or nightmares, that when I wake up, I am so exhausted that I can hardly move, and the lack of energy messes up my whole day. Plus the memory of the dream may haunt me all day as well, since I dream so vividly.

No one I know, understands anything about dreams. Most people I have known don't even remember their dreams.
When I was in school, my friends would gather around at meals, and beg me to share what I dreamt the night before. I guess they were like stories to them, since I could share all of the details. It was so cool they at least showed interest.

Some people I know, my mother as an example, has always believed that my dreams meant nothing and that they were all "mind garbage".

She also is very religious, Christian, and I said one day, Mom, aren't dreams very much a part of the Bible, and that sometimes even god or an angel would come to them in their dreams, and most of the time for an important reason? Her reply was this...there is no way god would speak to you in dreams, when you don't believe the same way.
She calls me Demonic, since I don't follow Her beliefs.

But, oh well, I guess I'm meant to always question...
My mom has told me she feels like she lives different lives in dreams. Also she has the impression she's visiting real places. I find it to be very interesting, but I've never experienced anything like that.
 
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MysticPerception

MysticPerception

I'm back and I'll still smile for you
Dec 31, 2019
1,252
I haven't had specifically ctb dreams but the closest I can think of is the one where I had a dream very similar to the knife scene in Saving Private Ryan. If you don't know what I'm talking about to describe it I had a vivid dream of being attacked in a supermarket and one man tackled me to the ground and tried pushing a knife into my chest while I tried to push the knife away. However I actually ended up thinking I can finally die and slowly let the knife push into me while thinking about the sweet release of death. I could feel the stabbing pain as it entered my chest too. That was not a pleasant wake up afterwards I can say that for sure.
 
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C_F

C_F

Experienced
Jul 31, 2019
242
I have had dreams about committing suicide. Always by gun. My method was CO and now SN... I wouldn't use a gun unless I had to. So it's interesting that it's always by gun.

Anyway, in one dream I pulled the trigger, heard some crazy sounds and felt blood running down my neck. I woke up at about then and felt very fulfilled by the feeling of having done that.
 
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A

AintNoWayOut

Student
Jan 6, 2020
173
Thank you for sharing.

That's pretty deep. Is this your ideal method of CTB? The shotgun, I mean. Just curious.



Thank you for sharing.

it'd be a quick, easy and reliable way, but i dont have access to a shotgun unfortunately. and i'd rather not have my whole head blown off to add to my family's trauma but... if i had one next to me right now, it'd be tempting. living with others really makes it difficult to plan and execute something.

i will say though that its a method i fantasize about a lot. like, when im just really fed up and want to die on the spot, i'll imagine putting a gun to my head and ending it all then and there. so the dream might've come from those thoughts.
 
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mesohappy

mesohappy

Cat piss sammich??
Jan 10, 2020
674
No CTB,but dreams of hanging out with dead friends and family members,yeah.Lately Ive been having really bizarre dreams.Things that have no rhyme or reason being in my head..When I wake up,I feel a sense of terror.Intense fear.
 
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Razor's Edge

Razor's Edge

Scars Beneath the Skin
Jan 5, 2020
113
No CTB,but dreams of hanging out with dead friends and family members,yeah.Lately Ive been having really bizarre dreams.Things that have no rhyme or reason being in my head..When I wake up,I feel a sense of terror.Intense fear.


Thank you for responding.

I also, have many dreams about dead friends and family members. It seems the closer to the end I get, the more I dream about them. But they give me a sense of comfort, that they exist somewhere...

I have had many dreams and nightmares about dying, I also have visions too of being killed in accidents...especially car accidents...mostly in the same intersection. I try my best to avoid this intersection at all costs, or have till now...
Most of my dreams are from my PTSD. I don't have daytime flashbacks, but they plague me at night. Sometimes the Prazosin works and sometimes it doesn't. Luckily I'm having a good period.


My mom has told me she feels like she lives different lives in dreams. Also she has the impression she's visiting real places. I find it to be very interesting, but I've never experienced anything like that.


I, also, suffer from extreme PTSD, Borderline personality disorder, depression, extreme panic disorder and extreme anxiety.
I do understand. You are not alone. I feel your pain.
 
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Shero

Shero

Experienced
Dec 19, 2019
274
I think i wrote it already somewhere else, but i dreamed to ctb since i was a little child. I think it was a way to cope after i saw my aunts boyfriend cbt. I stopped dreaming it couple of years ago, when i entered my twentys. Ironically, i started thinking more about ctb after that.
 
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J

jusbug

Member
Apr 19, 2019
63
every morning when i wake up the first thing when i open my eyes i see myself hanged, every morning.
 
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Razor's Edge

Razor's Edge

Scars Beneath the Skin
Jan 5, 2020
113
I think i wrote it already somewhere else, but i dreamed to ctb since i was a little child. I think it was a way to cope after i saw my aunts boyfriend cbt. I stopped dreaming it couple of years ago, when i entered my twentys. Ironically, i started thinking more about ctb after that.

Thank you so much for sharing.
I am also sorry about your aunt's boyfriend.
 
AlreadyGone

AlreadyGone

Taking it day by day
Jan 11, 2020
917
Yes, I have dreamed about taking SN or N while laying in the comfort of my bed at least a couple of times per week.
 
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H

hatelife

Experienced
Oct 13, 2019
269
december 2018 had dream I was being buried in a grave dead. my bunny died some days after and I tried to ctb around the same time the year after that..
also used to be a popular site when I was about 13 around 9/11 where one could type in their name and get what year they will be when they die, I typed in mine and my family members and they all got old ages but mine was only 32, I am that in a few days so yeah, I havent been this bad in all these years about suicide...
 
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Wren

Wren

BIRDS AREN'T REAL
Jan 7, 2020
54
I used to practice lucid dreaming for three years or so. None of these dreams were primarily focused on suicide or self harm, but I figured that if I have the entire universe bent to my will, I can experiment.

My dreams are weird and my senses in them are usually numbed to the point of almost absent. No pain or sense of touch, for example.

I fell to death many times - Instant blackout and waking up or loss of lucidity.

Cut myself or was cut or stabbed - no pain but could feel the blades scratching the bone within. Nasty feeling.

Got shot - a burning sensation centered on the point of impact. Nothing else.

Electrocution on metro tracks - nothing at all, walked it off.
 
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Razor's Edge

Razor's Edge

Scars Beneath the Skin
Jan 5, 2020
113
Interesting question or thought, I guess.

Has anybody had very vivid dreams or visions about CTB and what method you should use? Almost like you are being led?

I have had many dreams about different methods to CTB. I can picture them way after waking, in extreme detail. The dreams seem so real!

Does anyone else have this experience?

Stitch 1 eternal magic
 
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i'mfine

i'mfine

Member
Jan 14, 2020
11
I would not say that I dream of CTB unless I count to dream every week that you die in horrible ways, the last time I was beheaded, and before that I was set on fire howling in pain and at the same time I enjoyed it, I have been dreaming for many months my death and I haven't forgotten one of those dreams
 
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Throwmyselfaway

Throwmyselfaway

Not gone yet but soon
Jan 14, 2020
798
Omg yes! I was wondering if I was the only one. I don't have dreams but I have visions. Usually gun to the head or driving off of a bridge. One time i did have a vision of being robbed and the person pulled a gun. Actually I have had death dreams. It gets black then I'm a ghost. Would be amusing to be able to haunt people.
 
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enlightened_suicide

enlightened_suicide

How do you know, this isn't all a dream?
Jan 4, 2020
112
I used to practice lucid dreaming for three years or so. None of these dreams were primarily focused on suicide or self harm, but I figured that if I have the entire universe bent to my will, I can experiment.

My dreams are weird and my senses in them are usually numbed to the point of almost absent. No pain or sense of touch, for example.

I fell to death many times - Instant blackout and waking up or loss of lucidity.

Cut myself or was cut or stabbed - no pain but could feel the blades scratching the bone within. Nasty feeling.

Got shot - a burning sensation centered on the point of impact. Nothing else.

Electrocution on metro tracks - nothing at all, walked it off.

I also have been quite a decent lucid dreamer for some time now, and you described all of the above circumstances and feelings scarily accurate .. I have never heard anyone else deal with any of this, let alone put into words...
I Am Speechless.
 
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Razor's Edge

Razor's Edge

Scars Beneath the Skin
Jan 5, 2020
113
Omg yes! I was wondering if I was the only one. I don't have dreams but I have visions. Usually gun to the head or driving off of a bridge. One time i did have a vision of being robbed and the person pulled a gun. Actually I have had death dreams. It gets black then I'm a ghost. Would be amusing to be able to haunt people.

It's so nice to talk to people that understand things like this.
Many people don't unfortunately.
I have visions too, quite a few were right on...scary.
I don't know if I explained that I have had many dreams and some visions about my death.
In dreams and visions, I sometimes am in a car crashing, especially at this 1 specific intersection, so for the longest time I would avoid that intersection at all cost...but look at where I am now?
I also have dreams of fear of falling, sometimes do and wake up. I get trapped on rooftops at the very top of the triangle, holding on for dear life.
I also had a dream that a bunch of men came to my mothers house, and they had guns and were trying to shoot my daughter. At the last moment I was able to jump in front of her, and I got shot I don't know how many times...and I felt it!
I have almost all of my senses in dreams....sometimes this is good, sometimes not.
I dream in color, also.

If you would like to converse further on the subject, I would love that, btw. Just PM me and we can continue.Peace.
F98066ac8105c780d7185dd26b644380
 
Wren

Wren

BIRDS AREN'T REAL
Jan 7, 2020
54
I just remembered one:
I was riding a bus when the ground opened up beneath the wheels and we fell into a pich black bottomless abyss. I knew that I wouldn't survive the landing and sunk into my seat with such a sense of relief and calm I still recall it vividly. Suddenty all the worries of life disappeared and I was free, for a short moment of bliss, and I didn't fight or despair. This state of absolute tranquility was unlike anything I've experienced in real life. Fade to black, the end.
It was the only time I felt at ease in a deth-related dream and I miss that feeling of calm and peace dearly.


@enlightened_suicide
Odd, but nice, that someone can relate. I stopped lucid dreaming, but the practice left traces and I still get them ocassionally, now I also experience false awakenings and nightmares :/
 
issyishere

issyishere

Goodnight and always remember that’s life
Nov 5, 2019
441
i'll chime in because I actually did have a very vivid dream about this. I remember it extremely well which is weird. I was driving down a main road and I closed my eyes and slowly stepped on the accelerator. I could feel the car speeding up more and more and everything turned white. I felt myself floating up while I thought "Welp this is it" and then I woke up
 
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Razor's Edge

Razor's Edge

Scars Beneath the Skin
Jan 5, 2020
113
I would not say that I dream of CTB unless I count to dream every week that you die in horrible ways, the last time I was beheaded, and before that I was set on fire howling in pain and at the same time I enjoyed it, I have been dreaming for many months my death and I haven't forgotten one of those dreams


Thank you for sharing.
I also have all of my senses in my dreams...sometimes this is good, sometimes bad.
I don't mean to sound uncaring, but the fact that you enjoyed being set on fire...made me snicker a little. I have been accused of being a masochist...lol.
I had a dream once that I was burnt at the stake for being a witch. Too real...even for me!
I have many dreams about CTB...in different ways.
Some horrifying, some beautiful.
5
i'll chime in because I actually did have a very vivid dream about this. I remember it extremely well which is weird. I was driving down a main road and I closed my eyes and slowly stepped on the accelerator. I could feel the car speeding up more and more and everything turned white. I felt myself floating up while I thought "Welp this is it" and then I woke up


Thank you so much for sharing your experiences.
Pretty intense!
Sounds to me that maybe you are becoming at peace with CTB and seeing what transition you may take to arrive safely to the other side.
I wish you all the best! Peace.
13230286 10209892258211565 4425900225453551193 n
Yes, I have dreamed about taking SN or N while laying in the comfort of my bed at least a couple of times per week.

Thank you so much for sharing.
It sounds like you have come to terms with CTB and have some pretty certain methods.
Do these dreams scare you?
020 daily inspirations 415
 
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